Decorum and being a gentleman

[drcoastline]

Originally Posted by cockerpunk

no, i said no one cares. and was quickly told that everyone cares.

did you even read the thread? lol

Did you read the thread? Clearly the majority care about manners and decorum but not everyone.

[drcoastline]

Originally Posted by KC911

Is wearing jeans to church acceptable (now)?

I don't think I have EVER seen a man remove their cap entering a Home Depot.

True story.... circa 1970. My dad had a retired preacher friend who had never been to the coast, so dad decided to take him and off they went. But as dad tells it, he drew the line when "Brother Embler" was going to walk out the long fishing pier still wearing his tie... so off it came .

Times and mores change...

I can almost guarantee that some of the older ladies were just as agast over the OP's jeans as he was about the cap.

I think that's the point most are trying to make here....

Matthew 7:1

I wasn't always a heathen

Are jeans acceptable? Jeans are becoming more and more acceptable in many palces so probably in some places they aare.

Here a t the Jersey shore where I live church is more formal in the winter when it is just us locals. People don't dress the way they used to but still tend to look nice. Slacks, shoes a dress shirt and a sport coat.

Easter is a big thing around here the official kick off to spring/summer, the boardwalk opens every gets dressed to the nines, church than a stroll down the boardwalk. Not as dressed as the Victorians but suits, ties, Easter dresses, ladies don hats.

In the summer all that goes out the window, the vacationers (shoebees) show up shorts, t-shirts, flip flops are the norm. but your hat or cap will be asked to be removed when you enter the church

[rusnak]

Originally Posted by cockerpunk

no, i said no one cares. and was quickly told that everyone cares.

did you even read the thread? lol

Are you still upset about the hat in church thing? Or are you upset in general all the time? Or is it the guys here that you're always upset with? I'm trying to understand why always the volcanic posts. That's a lot of erupting.

[cockerpunk]

Originally Posted by drcoastline

Did you read the thread? Clearly the majority care about manners and decorum but not everyone.

i did read the thread. its not my feelings that are requiring coddling right now. i didnt get butt hurt that someone wore a hat in a church.

sounds like you are projecting a lot of feelings you are having onto me.

[upsscott]

Originally Posted by KC911

You must be new here ... it's what we do

Not new. Still surprised.

[upsscott]

Originally Posted by Superman

Thanks, but I still remember it from the first time I read it.



It's a classic. And it so happens that my outfit was respectful of the local culture and customs.



Yeah, that's the part I don't get too. Sure, we argue here. But it just stuns me that people would come here to announce their disdain for manners and decorum. If I started a thread, do you suppose they might boast of their poor hygiene too? Maybe they're not very in bed either, and want to tell people.

Should I form a positive impression of someone because they consider manners and decorum to be silly? Most people want to be regarded positively, or so I thought.

To me, and this is my opinion, practicing good manners is when you open the door for a lady, not farting or burping at the dinner table or in front of people in general, chewing with your mouth closed, and saying please and thank you. Not wearing a hat indoors is more of a tradition or general rule that really has no origin or anything to base it on to make it make sense. Now wearing a hat in a church or place of worship seems like a mistake for some reason. I don’t attend church very often but I wouldn’t wear a hat.

[upsscott]

Originally Posted by rusnak

Are you still upset about the hat in church thing? Or are you upset in general all the time? Or is it the guys here that you're always upset with? I'm trying to understand why always the volcanic posts. That's a lot of erupting.

It’s funny that you assume HE’S the one that’s upset. He said he doesn’t care, everyone else got upset that he had the audacity to say he doesn’t care.

[drcoastline]

Originally Posted by cockerpunk

i did read the thread. its not my feelings that are requiring coddling right now. i didnt get butt hurt that someone wore a hat in a church.

sounds like you are projecting a lot of feelings you are having onto me.

I'm not projecting anything, it was your statement.

[Superman]

Originally Posted by drcoastline

Are jeans acceptable?

Yes. As I mentioned, I was tickled to see the usher at Mass wearing a grey hoodie. Jeans are fine. Shorts are fine.

Hats are NOT fine. It seems like you would have to be Catholic to understand why. I am very surprised the priest, of all people, did not take action. The young fellow was a RCIA candidate. Learning these things. Such as: Men NEVER wear hats at Mass.

[daepp]

Cockerpunk gives off angry vibes, and we're just left to wonder why...

[upsscott]

I look at his posts as cutting through the bullshyt.

[rusnak]

Originally Posted by daepp

Cockerpunk gives off angry vibes, and we're just left to wonder why...

Yes, he does. I was indeed just curious as to what's going on there.

[Superman]

He's not the only one who's angry at manners and decorum. Hmmm.....

[herr_oberst]

Originally Posted by Superman

Yup. And again, for those unfamiliar with Catholic culture, males may not ever.....ever.....wear a hat at Mass. Women used to be required to cover their heads, and they can still be seen wearing veils atop their heads or hats. Men....never ever.

I'm a recovered catholic.
I went to catholic schools for 12 years. We went to mass every morning. Up until sometime in the '70's women and girls were required to cover their heads at mass, and if they forgot to bring something nice, then the nuns would make them pin on a paper towel.
Silly rule, but the men removing the hat is just good manners, something that was taught in school in a class called 'civics' where we would learn the rules and manners of good citizenship.

Sadly and sorely missed, is the mandatory civics class.

[drcoastline]

Originally Posted by cockerpunk

i did read the thread. its not my feelings that are requiring coddling right now. i didnt get butt hurt that someone wore a hat in a church.

sounds like you are projecting a lot of feelings you are having onto me.

Nope, sill, stupid, social norms, etc. are all your statements.

[ramonesfreak]

Originally Posted by fintstone

I am not Catholic but have attended events at a Catholic Church and did my best to be as respectful as I possibly could (including dressing appropriately). I would not dream of going to any church without a suit (even a church where they dress casually). I would also never wear a hat in a building (much less a church) and certainly not at the table anywhere. Even McDonalds. I would consider doing so considerably disrespectful to the group and institution to do so. It is one thing to be poor and dress as beat you can afford, but anyone can remove their hat. I would never shame my parents/family by doing so. I hope my kids and grandkids never shame me by doing something like that. If so, I will know the that I was not the father I tried to be.

You remove your hat at McDonald’s? If you left your hat on at McDonald’s you would be shamming your parents and family?

Isn’t this a little ridiculous, maybe a little too serious? I think it is. That said, I do admire your attitude and discipline

I think it’s important to respect the institution and I try to be respectful. But I’ll declare this, when McDonald’s figures out how to hand me a cheeseburger that has cheese thats melted and meat that is actually better than room temperature, I’ll take my hat off to ‘em

[fintstone]

Originally Posted by ramonesfreak

You remove your hat at McDonald’s? If you left your hat on at McDonald’s you would be shamming your parents and family?

Isn’t this a little ridiculous, maybe a little too serious? I think it is. That said, I do admire your attitude and discipline

I think it’s important to respect the institution and I try to be respectful. But I’ll declare this, when McDonald’s figures out how to hand me a cheeseburger that has cheese thats melted and meat that is actually better than room temperature, I’ll take my hat off to ‘em

Yes. If I am wearing a hat or cap. it comes off before I cross the threshold. Every time. My house, your house, Walmart, the mall...even McDonalds. It is how you show respect for others that are inside. The employees that are working hard and the other diners.

Some McDonalds prepare their burgers perfectly (as perfectly as materials allow) and are hot and fresh. The fact that all cannot/do not do so is telling. I once worked in fast food and no one ever got a cold burger or one that was not perfectly made (as best as I could do so). I ensured the other employees did the same. Standards are important. It did not matter if I was serving the Governor or a poor laborer. I assumed everyone worked hard for their money and deserved the best product I could provide. That was also as sign of respect. Maybe if folks could start showing a bit more respect to others, folks that made/sold fast food would catch on. The equipment and materials are there, I guess maybe parents (and managers) did not teach employees to respect others as my parent did me. I hope I taught my kids the same.

I remember picking up my daughter once (I think she was in med school) to go to a fairly nice restaurant (maybe a steak house). It was very hot out (over 100) and she wore flip flops. Her mother and I looked at her feet and told her to go put on some shoes. She was unhappy about it ("everyone wears flip flops"). We told her that we did not...and would not. She changed her shoes. Sure enough, some others were eating there in flip flops...but that did not change a thing. It is just not what we (or she) was raised to do. I hope she learned from that and did not just think we were idiots. One does what they think is right, regardless of what others do.

[Por_sha911]

Originally Posted by drcoastline

but, he was asked to remove his hat by an angry Karen volunteering in a non official position as an usher who hands out bulletins, so you remove your hat. That's is it the conversation is over.

Fixed it for you.

The true tragedy here is that someone was more concerned with decorum than a soul who could end up in Hell because they cared about what he wore instead of his spiritual condition. Again, I suggest you read the story of where Jesus said that the religious uptights were 'white washed tombs' because they were more concerned with regulations than in a heart toward God or the parable in Luke 18:10-14 (I'd be happy to post them for you if you don't have a Bible).

[ramonesfreak]

Originally Posted by fintstone

Yes. If I am wearing a hat or cap. it comes off before I cross the threshold. Every time. My house, your house, Walmart, the mall...even McDonalds. It is how you show respect for others that are inside. The employees that are working hard and the other diners.

Some McDonalds prepare their burgers perfectly (as perfectly as materials allow) and are hot and fresh. The fact that all cannot/do not do so is telling. I once worked in fast food and no one ever got a cold burger or one that was not perfectly made (as best as I could do so). I ensured the other employees did the same. Standards are important. It did not matter if I was serving the Governor or a poor laborer. I assumed everyone worked hard for their money and deserved the best product I could provide. That was also as sign of respect. Maybe if folks could start showing a bit more respect to others, folks that made/sold fast food would catch on. The equipment and materials are there, I guess maybe parents (and managers) did not teach employees to respect others as my parent did me. I hope I taught my kids the same.

I remember picking up my daughter once (I think she was in med school) to go to a fairly nice restaurant (maybe a steak house). It was very hot out (over 100) and she wore flip flops. Her mother and I looked at her feet and told her to go put on some shoes. She was unhappy about it ("everyone wears flip flops"). We told her that we did not...and would not. She changed her shoes. Sure enough, some others were eating there in flip flops...but that did not change a thing. It is just not what we (or she) was raised to do. I hope she learned from that and did not just think we were idiots. One does what they think is right, regardless of what others do.

You are a rare breed and I admire that

I recently had a judge after a hearing hold me back after everyone was leaving. I thought OMG what did I do? He gave me a lecture because my tie knot wasn’t all the way up, by a few millimeters. I said geez judge, I even have my top button buttoned and I didnt notice the knot slipped down a little, sorry. He went on and on about the army and the olden days…..

Minutes later, I’m walking to the elevator down the hall and as always, I removed my tie because it’s choking me. I get in the elevator alone and lo and behold, the judge steps into the elevator and looks at me without the tie. Hahah he wasn’t happy. He lectured me all the way to my car. Despite that, we got along good and I liked him

[VINMAN]

Even 1%er bikers have rules of decorum and respect when it comes to greeting others or entering their club houses or others establishments.
It's not just about religious beliefs.

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