Tatoos and teens...forgiveness vs. permission...as stepdad should I even get a vote?

[Dueller]

Originally Posted by Isabo

I agree with you on the lying by ommission, but have you considered that it's a sign of their esteem for you, especially the stepdaughters? If they didn't rate you they wouldn't bother.

I think that was a compliment

Actually we do have a positive relationship in general. And I do realize in the big scheme of things this, too, will pass. I have dealt with a number of more serious issues very candidly with them: leasbian relationships, sex, underage drinking, lying and sneaking off to an out of town college for the weekend, etc. And my wife and I do discuss things privately and I recognize that she has the final say when we disagree. So for me the wife's deception by ommission bumfuzzles me. May be an indicator of deeper problems.

But then again I overthink schit.

[the]

Not your kid, let it go. Plus, it's not like she's 12. She's almost 18. 18 is a grown up, getting a tattoo is a grown up thing, so she obviously feels she is a grown up. Things like buying food, paying rent, making a car payment, etc. are also grown up things, I assume she knows and is planning on being a grown up for those purposes, too.

[widgeon13]

I don't think you have much to say about the 'tat" but I sure as hell would bring to her attention that she disrespected her mother by getting it anyway and see if her mother would support you on some consequences of that part of the behavior.

Either way, you are in a pretty s----- situation. Would have been nice if your wife had gotten you involved from the start.

[911boost]

Tatoos? Lesbian relationships?

Damn man....

[Rot 911]

Originally Posted by Dueller

I think that was a compliment I have dealt with a number of more serious issues very candidly with them: leasbian relationships

Tell us some more about the lesbian relationships.

[Rikao4]

Isa,
they have NO respect for D,
he's too write the check's..& STFU.
sorry D, I see them treating you like a Mushroom..keep in the dark & feed merde.


Rika

[Dueller]

Originally Posted by BSiple

Tatoos? Lesbian relationships?

Damn man....

Never said my life was boring

[Gogar]

"Only god can judge me" ????

Of all the awful ideas . . . . .

Rest easy, Dueller. The regret will be punishment enough. I hope it's not the one with the possible modeling career, because an awful tattoo will squash that idea real quick.

[cstreit]

Originally Posted by Jim Richards

Memorializing her spiritual convictions on her butt? That's got to make the non-beliving crowd howl in laughter. Sorry, no disrespect to your family, Dueller...just to the idea.

SPOT ON OLD BEAN. Brilliant retort for Dueller. I can see it now "Wait, so this was so important to you, you thought you'd put it on your butt? Where you can't see it?" "What will you do for an encore?"

[Jim Richards]

Who you callin' old?

[svandamme]

post tattooass pic, let us judge

[imcarthur]

As you know, as a step-father you are often just a talking head in the corner that nobody pays much attention to. They all listen & then do what they want. Fighting it will only give you an ulcer.

At my end, we have the Room Monkeys (wife's son & Chinese bride) still in residence. I make noises & bring up the issues & everybody gets upset for a while & nothing changes ultimately.

That's life as a step-father.

Ian

[Porsche-O-Phile]

Tat = automatic 20 I.Q. point deduction. Pretty much universally...

Then again, maybe you could "pay her back" by getting one that says "I love my disobedient, lying stepdaughter".

[nostatic]

If this were a Japanese tv soap opera, first he'd sleep with his daughter, then get the tatoo, then have a knife fight with the lesbian girlfriend.

I'm just sayin...

[notfarnow]

For all you demotivated stepdads out there, I'd just like to note that my stepfather was very influential and a real positive role model. We fought a lot, and I think I drove him nuts, but I guess that's what being a father is all about. He and my mom split up when I was 18, but I still see him now and then and respect him immensely.

3 cheers for all the step-parents out there!

[Walter_Middie]

I'm having issues with my own 18yo step-son. About a year ago he wanted a tattoo. After we repeatedly said no, he decided to get a tongue stud without asking us - I'd rather he had a tattoo, but the stud was removable. His mother (my wife) told him to stay at his dads until the stud was removed. He stayed at his dads and with friends for several months. When he finally came over to see us, we didn't make a big fuss over the tongue stud - it disappeared shortly after - not because of anything we did or said, I think it just got old. In hind sight, it would have been better to wait it out rather than making a bid deal of it.

He now spends most of his time at his dads house or friends - we rarely see him. Be careful about the battles you choose to fight.

[Rikao4]

He will call when he needs / want's something that 'Dad' is not helping with.
they always do....
Rika

[imcarthur]

Originally Posted by Walter_Middie

Be careful about the battles you choose to fight.

Exactly. My stepson hasn't seen or talked with his father in 8 years. His choice.

Ian

[DARISC]

Her mom should tell her daughter, "Well, God judged you. He told ME, because I'M YOUR MOTHER!, that He doesn't like it, or the fact that you defied your mother. He told me to take you to have it REMOVED! Now, you may disobey you're mother, but your mumsey sure isn't going to disobey God!"

She better do it before 18 comes up though.

[legion]

The Hell's Angels believe that anything with their logo on it is their property. If you are thrown out of the club, they will take back their property--including any tattoos. They have been known to use a hot clothing iron to reclaim their property.