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well you already got the right response several times over so i'll just say i'm sorry to hear about your troubles. Good luck in the future!

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Old 09-25-2008, 05:48 AM
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What a horrible situation. Sounds like you have your head on straight though, good luck.

Quote:
Originally Posted by legion View Post
You can't fix broken people.
Sums it up nicely
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Old 09-25-2008, 05:50 AM
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Could have been worse. You could have been married and discovered her secret life.
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Old 09-25-2008, 05:53 AM
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This has the makings of an EPIC thread.

Seriously, consider yourself lucky it went south before you got married.

Don't forget to cancel the cell phone. You should also consider freezing your credit for a while. She will be looking for cash anyway she can get it soon enough.
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Old 09-25-2008, 06:13 AM
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I'm so very sorry, Armon! Often there can be no worse feeling than that of a broken heart; perhaps the most unique emotion within the "human condition". To add insult to injury, this hurt was delivered by a trusted and loved person who revealed herself to be so duplicitous and destructive. However, there can be no turning back. Thems be the breaks, and you'll have to be strong in moving forward. Sure, you're angry now, but you sound like a caring guy...anger will wear off and you'll begin to feel sentimental, and at some point - as is so often the case with addicts - she'll be plucking your heart strings. I think, when the time is right, forgiveness will help with closure (for your own benefit, not hers), but I think it's important to stop there...close the book and let it go! F_CK IT! Time will heal you...
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Old 09-25-2008, 06:14 AM
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You're extremely lucky to have it happen now, before the wedding, before kids etc. The woman is screwed up and it's NO LONGER YOUR PROBLEM!!! I would consider that the beater is cheap insurance that she'll stay gone.

Tons of good women out there who would love to find a good man. Put it behind you as fast as possible and don't look back.
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Old 09-25-2008, 06:25 AM
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Better now than later! I agree with everyone else, make sure her name is off of EVERYTHING, get checked for STDs, and keep a close eye on your credit. If she tries to come back, don't even let her sorry ass into your house.
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Old 09-25-2008, 06:41 AM
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That's gotta hurt. But it will pass. Sorry for your pain!
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Old 09-25-2008, 06:50 AM
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H - Man: Was out in NYC last night with fellow HPU grads and we all had drinks and talked about how we miss Hawaii. But the topic of drugs and the transient nature of the place did come up as well. There is an underbelly and it can get very nasty, very quickly.

Take a week or two off from work, go home and see the family for the holidays if you can. Change your phone number and call the repo man to find the car and deliver it strait to the junkyard. When you get back, find a new apartment..

Very good advice on this board. Take it.
Old 09-25-2008, 06:57 AM
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Definitely get tested today, and again in 6 mos. That is priority 1.

Priority 2 is removing everything of hers from your place. You already did that.

Some people are rotten to their vile cores. She is rotten. Her mistake was playing her hand before you were married. You got very, very lucky dude. All you have to do to extricate yourself is get rid of her junk. Just give her meth to the police for evidence.

Report the car stolen so that you aren't responsible for whatever she does with it. Forget the ring- its gone. Getting it back would mean seeing her again. Not worth it.

There is a chance she will re-emerge with a story. You guys are through. Anyone who could pull something like she just did is simply vile.

I feel horrible for you- you sound like you knew about some sordid past of hers, and were willing to accept it and be a nurturer and help her out. You are the perfect victim - a nice, caring guy. Legion spoke the cold, hard truth as I know it- people can't be fixed. Find a girl who wants to care for YOU.
Old 09-25-2008, 07:12 AM
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Act II will be the most painful.

She will find you again. She will tell you she has "changed" and "learned from her mistakes". She will tell you that she loves you and misses you. She will act normal and functional again. She will be setting you up for the exact same thing again.

She needs a "safety net" so she can go out whoring and doping up. She will say or do anything to make you that safety net. She needs your money, your apartment, your car. She doesn't need you, but she needs to make you think she does.

This will be the real test: what do you do when she returns?
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Last edited by legion; 09-25-2008 at 07:25 AM..
Old 09-25-2008, 07:15 AM
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You got lucky, I was married for 16 years to this woman that got involved with that and I dumped her like a hot rock. If you want to rescue something rescue a 911S or a T. not a woman. You will find someone that you don't need to clothe or support that much, I couldn't be happier. I just retired and my current wife makes enough to where I really don't have to go back to work. My ex never worked a day in her life. Good luck.
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Old 09-25-2008, 07:21 AM
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I've done lots of volunteer work over the years through my church and part of that work was trying to help people with addictions.
One thing I am sure of, trying to help a meth addict is a waste of effort. They will only drag you down and hurt you, you will not help them. Kick her to the curb, cut all ties, under no circumstances should you ever have anything to do with her ever again. Period. It's cold, it's harsh, but it is reality.

Last edited by sammyg2; 09-25-2008 at 12:20 PM..
Old 09-25-2008, 07:25 AM
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slakjaw slakjaw is offline
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I know a guy in Omaha with a story similar to yours. Except he came home early one day and got his face bashed in by 3 black guys. That's different than getting it bashed in by 3 White guys
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Old 09-25-2008, 07:26 AM
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Quote:
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slakjaw slakjaw is offline
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I know a guy in Omaha with a story similar to yours. Except he came home early one day and got his face bashed in by 3 black guys. That's different than getting it bashed in by 3 White guys
Hate crime? Oh wait, only white people can commit hate crimes.
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Old 09-25-2008, 07:27 AM
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You're letting her keep the ring... good, don't look back. Besides she'll need the ring for some quick cash later on. Harsh, I know.
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Old 09-25-2008, 07:32 AM
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no way??!!! i guess you cant make this schit up.

go and buy an effen lotto ticket quick! you just got paroled and it is the luckiest moment in your life.

screw the car, call it in stolen, abandon the ring, (unless it is really ROCKin, then get that sucka back) cancel her cell phone. meth is really sweeter if you order up the baggies from a payphone. easier for the dealer to drop it off too.

abandon ship, buddy.
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Old 09-25-2008, 07:53 AM
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That is some Jerry Springer **** right there!
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Old 09-25-2008, 08:47 AM
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Get the car back or report it stolen. Now.

If she causes a wreck or hurts or kills someone with it, you and your insurance company could be on the hook. Could ruin you. Adios Porsche.

Do NOT, NOT cancel insurance on a car that has your name on the title. EVER.

Do it now.

Last edited by tcar; 09-25-2008 at 11:27 AM..
Old 09-25-2008, 08:50 AM
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Quote:
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Get the car back or report it stolen. Now.

If she causes a wreck or hurts or kills someone with it, you and your insurance company could be on the hook. Could ruin you. Adios Porsche.

Do it now.
Good advise. I recommend a repo man. they will find it faster than the cops and less drama and spare you the "he said, she said..". Just let them find it and give them the title.

Old 09-25-2008, 08:54 AM
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