Wifes 40th B-day...help.

[HardDrive]

Ok, I am officially freaking out.

Wifes 40th is on Saturday, I have done nothing at this point, and I am having a heart attack. I woke up at 4:30am and started writing this if that any indication...

The issues:

A) The present. She has most everything she needs, and if she want something, she goes and buys it, and that includes jewelry(yes, even big ticket jewelry). I DO tend to do pretty well when I buy her clothing/shoes (miracle, I know), but that doesn't seem like enough of a gift for her 40th. So here's an X factor idea. My wifes life story is amazing in some aspects. Born in a little village in India, ended up living alone in a Chicago ghetto penniless, went on to Harvard after years of struggle, successful physician.....its a pretty amazing story. So how about I do just that, tell her story? I am a reasonably good writer, and love her dearly, so how about I sit down and write her life story and simply tell her how amazing I think she is? I can't think of a single material thing she needs, so how about a small gift like chocolates (that she loves) and her life story written with care? Good idea or sappy?

B) The party. She has told me repeatedly that she does not want a party. Has said repeatedly that her birthday is 'no big deal' And yet...you know how woman can tell you one thing, yet secretly wish the opposite? Does 'no big deal' actually mean she wants me to throw her a HUGE suprise party? Yes, even after years of marriage, there are still some mystery's. Do I take her to a nice brunch/dinner and a play/symphony, and call it a day? Or should I try and arrange some kind of get together?

Arrrrrrrrrggggghhhhhhh!!!!!!

[masraum]

Good luck! The life story thing sounds cool.

The Party thing, I don't know. Certain ages freak people out. It used to be 30 for women, but it could be 35 or 40 now. I can't help you on that one.

[RoninLB]

find a present she wouldn't think of buying for herself... not clothes


throw a suprise party of only close friends



40 is a life defining marker for a female



she also needs to be ravished later to confirm she's still sexy

[Oh Haha]

Great idea on the life story. If your write as good as you post on Pelican you'll be good to go. (You do have a way of telling a story.)



A small gift of candy is also a good idea.


I would pass on a big party, however. Maybe a small gathering of close friends for drinks and appetisers. She must have a favorite restaurant.

I think whatver you do, as long as you do something, will be ok with her.



Maybe all of your Pelican friends could send her a card?

[jhynesrockmtn]

• I would write something as you suggest, that's a great idea. Put it on a nice card or something, throw in your favorite pic of you two together.
  
• Nice spa package including a massage.
  
• Nice dinner maybe with a night downtown Seattle at the W or 4 Seasons.

Good luck

[vash]

you come to us now??!! saturday?

sounds like she has a triumphant life story. i dont know if it will be that impressive for her to read it. what will you do, print it up on some great paper and frame it?

if she doenst need anything, why not do something charitable in her name?
throw her a small intimate dinner party. you better get movin!

[Moses]

Surprise party at a favorite restaurant with a dozen or so close friends. You can arrange it on short notice and she won't have to clean up after. Huge points.

The story is a great idea. Present it to her privately, though. People who have struggled greatly in life may find their own story very personal and intimate.

[Seahawk]

First of all, what your wife has accomplished is inspiring...what a wonderful story.

To the rest:

If she has said she doesn't want a surprise party, then don't throw one. I had the exact same request and my wife respected my wishes, which meant the world to me.

Only you know what gift to give your wife, the gift that will resonate, be it material, spiritual or a trip together to some special place.

My wife went to St. John's in Annapolis (one of the "Great Books" colleges)...her love of philosophy, literature and math is genuine and deep.

Me, not so much. But, for her 40th (she is 43) I found (well, ok, a good friends of hers in New York City found) a series of readings and a play in NYC that I/we felt would resonate with her.

I would not ordinarily get within a 3 Wood of this milieu, but for her weekend I did.

It was a hoot and she really appreciated the fact that I put the caveman garb in the closet for a weekend and participated.

That's all I have to say about that.

[vash]

when my wife turns 40, i am going to ask a bunch of friends to meet for dinner, then come up with a story that gets us to the airport. then get her on a surprise flight to paris, or somewhere in italy.

40 is a HUGE deal for a chinese woman. i gotta go long, with the "hail mary".

[gassy]

40 slaps of the cratch. Slap slap slap. Like that.

[MFAFF]

The life story is spot on and brilliant....use both her life and events around the world at key dates in her life....

My MiL has been doing this for her own Mom wwho is now 98 and its a great record and a great way of celebrating life in general.

The best gift you can give is time.. for you and her...buy her a week end away with you... time for yourselves and nobody but yourselves..its the best gift there is...

Good luck and have fun

(oh and make sure you are 'well rested' for the week end )

[Netspeed]

+1 on the spa treatment.

[Heel n Toe]

On the party thing, if any of your favorite restaurants have a dining room in the back that you could invite 4 or 5 close couple friends to, that would probably be a non-threatening way of celebrating... several couples in our circle of friends have done that as a surprise, and it works great.

If you are in doubt about whether it would be a downer for her, just call one or two of her best woman friends and ask them.

You can pull it as a surprise by having the other couples show up 30 minutes early and be waiting for you when the two of you arrive.

[Rikao4]

no party ..means
NO PARTY..
you/her.. can buy.. like you said just about anything you want/need.
as a Dr. the one thing they never have enough of is TIME..
time for Pt.,friends,themselves... you..
give her some time with you / and a new special place..
she sounds awesome...
please wish her a great one from all of us as well..

Rika

[JavaBrewer]

My wife always maintained she did NOT want a party for her birthday.

IMO the 40th should be remembered. So I setup a surprise party at our home with ~25 of our closest friends. I had the food catered from a local sushi place and served good wine and beer. It was a lot of fun and we will always remember it.

Before arriving at the house I drove her to the ocean, we had some champagne watching the sun set, and I surprised her with an expensive ring. Hey you only turn 40 once right.

[porsche4life]

Trade her for 2 20s!

[PRE-H20]

if her birthday is this saturday you dont have alot of time.... obviously. THATS PERFECT!.........

since your in seattle.... take her on a weekend cruise on carnival..... 3 4 days cruise...... short enough to not have to plan alot and SUPER inexpensive since the cruise lines WANT last minute passengers and make it worth your while.

IMPORTANT: make sure you plan ahead..... re-calender appts over the weekend to another day, since she is a doctor, call a colleague have him/her cover a shift, send the kids to gramma/granpa for the weekend, take spot to a kennel for the weekend etc etc etc.

pack your tux and surprize her for dinner on the cruise, rent one if you dont have your own.

now the fun/funny part.

you will need her passport,...... as soon as you are done reading this, tell her you are going to send her a series of text messages over the next couple of days, tell her she needs to go on a scavenger hunt for the items you text her, tell her to NOT ask questions and just gather the items. one of the items you ask her to gether is her passport.

the items are random, easy to get, and tell her to put them in a duffle-bag.

a #2 pencil
a paper coaster (beer)
a shoe string
a picture of a dog from a magazine
a nail clipper
a legal size pad of paper
a pair of gloves

any RANDOM combination of things and include her passport.

then on saturday morning at 5am,...wake her up give her a card with the cruise intinerary inside the card...... she will be THRILLED.... she will ask: WHEN ARE WE GOING?..... your response is..... THIS MORNING so get up and pack woman!.....

but i have to work!.... check.
but i have to pick up dry cleaners.... check
but i have an appt at the mechanics.... check
but i what about the kids?..... check
but....
but....
but....

oh honey i love you.......

ASK ME HOW I KNOW ALL THIS!...........

super cheap..... 2-300 bones.... last minute is IDEAL..... ALL INCLUSIVE and super super fun... EASY TO PLAN IN A COUPLE OF HOURS.....

[PRE-H20]

or something like that...... just off the top of my head..... but it sounds like she IS WORTH IT.......

worked out great for me.......

[madmmac]

Short notice. If you have never been there try Teatro ZinZanni. Usually a great time to be had with pretty decent food...http://dreams.zinzanni.org/ bottom of Queen Anne.

Does not look like Kevin Kent is in the current show. When he is, it is a for sure night out there for us, he is amazingly hilarious.

[flatbutt]

HD, sitdown and create a coupon book for her. Each coupon good for some kind of treat. One for a backrub, one for a home cooked meal prepared by you, one for an hour of you listening to her vent about something. Got the idea? She can cash this in anytime she wants, say a book of twelve so itlasts all year.