BTDT

Gogar wise... listen to the Gogar...


And ignore the cynical ba$tards... :p

best check with B D before you post anything really interesting about your date. His sensitive daintiness might be offended by any sign of masculine action...

My personal thought is that most marriages that end in divorce were doomed to fail from day one. Some people simply are not cut out for marriage. If you're not capable of caring about someone else more than yourself, marriage is not for you. I've also seen relationships where the couples discussed NOTHING before making the plunge. Obvious stuff like kids, life goals, finances, etc. In the week after we first met, my wife (the girlfriend) and I stayed up late every night talking about our life, goals, kids, etc.

I view this as code-speak for "if you are not willing to surrender your manhood to her, marriage won't work."

I cannot say i disagree.

The only guys i know that are still married are the ones that submitted. None of them are happy, though most are probably quite numb.

Numbness is not what i'm looking for in a relationship.

If manhood is "I only give a rats ass about myself" then yes, it's surrender. I happen to have a much different definition of a man, because only caring about yourself makes for a pretty pathetic husband, father, or person. Marriage is a partnership, not a dictatorship.

Tell that to the woman.

Really, your screen name speaks volumes Matt. ;)

The username is my reaction to everyone being a NFL quarterback/Navy SEAL/astronaut with a 12" dick when they're on the internet. Oddly enough, it started as a joke between my wife and I. I don't feel the need to pump myself up when I'm behind a keyboard, ultimately I don't care what any of you a-holes think.:D

There's an odd pattern on PPOT where a guy posts about marriage, and some cynic (sometimes more than one) comes out and starts spewing bile. I always wonder what they stand to gain from it, why it's so important for them to pi$$ in someone else's corn flakes. It's sad, really. I'm sorry your relationships are so hollow that you can't even imagine *someone else* finding joy.

Anyhow, my guess is that Schumi knows what the right approach is here. He just needs some encouragement. Go for it, man.

FWIW, my wife and I were friends for years before we started dating

Stop talking trash about me!

Schumi,
Congrats! As you can see, many people never come close to finding someone who can change their perspective of women/relationships/etc. You, have been lucky enough to at least see that there is the possibility of "the one." Outstanding!

I was very similar to you. My standards were pretty high and every woman I met didn't qualify for one reason or another. So you can imagine what my dating results were like. And then I met "her." Yes. She is the one. Married 17.5 years. Dated for about 5 before that. She is certainly a keeper. Beautiful, funny,sexy, great mom, etc.

Your instincts are SPOT ON. This IS different. So ACT differently than you have in the past. You don't want to fuch this up. It is important. Being friends first is critical (as you seem to understand). I did have the foresight to tell my prospective spouse that I never wanted to have her tell me that she "loved me like a Brother." That just stings! I agree with someone above that you can and probably should tell her that she is different and that you can see this going places.

Treat her with the respect that she deserves. Have fun. Enjoy yourself. Get the heck off the internet and spend some quality time with HER.

Thank you for making my day and reminding me how lucky I am.

Larry

I'm not convinced that she feels the same way as you. Chicks are whack man and sometimes they like to whack guys out with the 'friend zone'.

I have very few female friends. The ones I do have are through my wife mostly. In the past I have had female friends - these are the girls who liked to hang out with me but didn't want to sleep with me. Nip that in the bud, if you want a chick and she doesn't want you - I'm sure you've got plenty of friends.

maybe I'm just not as hot as you.

Pics.

Or.

Ban.

Sniper, you may be having fun now, but eventually the p**** train dries up. Eventually you are the 40-year old former badass chasing college-aged tail. At some point, you will start striking out, and it's already too late at that point to settle down.

My wife's cousin is/was much like that. Now he's 40, still lives at home, and the college girls are too young for him and everyone else in town knows him. He's a victim of his own success with no where to go.

An old friend once told me something similar.

There are at least 5 women out there that can make you equally happy.

The trick is finding one of them.

Gotta call BS on this one. I had a pipeline of good p*ssy going when I finally decided to shut it down for the woman who became my wife. I was 34 then and there was no end to hot, well-to-do, late-30's, early 40's Asian divorcees who just wanted a f&ckbuddy. No doubt whatsoever I could have kept that going for as long as I wanted to. Men get more attractive with age and also develop better closing skills with women. I may not share Sniper's taste in women (face it, not many of us do:cool:). But I'm sure he'll do fine for as long as he wants to.

I had a very good friend like this except he was in his 60's. Very sad I was the closest thing he had to a son and he was always struggling to date women 20-years his younger. It seemed like no women could make him happy and if he found one he liked he would always have his eye out for other women.

Seeing this in my 20's made me realize how important a good solid marriage was.

The trick is finding them all at the same time in an mood willing to experiment.

=-)

Rick, no offense, but I contend that you settled down before things dried up. I will say that a lot of it has to do with your income too (women tend to make more exceptions when you are rich). This cousin had things start to taper off at 35 and by 38 the pipeline had completely stopped. Now he's 42 and wants to settle down but can't find anyone. Oh, and he works as a mobile phone salesman, so he wasn't getting cut any slack for having money...

You haven't met motion yet, have you? :eek:

Have you ever seen the divorce statistics in this country? Or are you a head in the sand kind of guy?

Besides, IMO the ones that tout marriage are just doing so because misery loves company. :)

What i "stand to gain from it" is to hopefully keep a bud from making a horrible mistake that will cost him 50% of his possessions and 100% of his sanity.

Is there any rule that says you cannot be happy forever and be madly in love without actually getting married? Nope, there sure isn't.

All clear now?

Well, I guess I'll never know then. But I'm not rich at all. My wife is 10 yrs. younger and makes more than I do. One thing I always liked about dating older women was that they had money and didn't care about silly tests like how much a guy would spend on them. I felt like they were really being nice by letting me pay once in a while. I met my wife when she was a poor student, so I had to pay or we just didn't go anywhere. Maybe wearing a wedding band brings out the flirtatious women, but I'm pretty sure I could pick right back up where I left off if I wanted to.