Things are getting pretty bad..."Dad, I can't live like this anymore..."

[M.D. Holloway]

She has not engaged in a civil conversation with me in months - every statement she makes to me is a slam, a dig or some form of critiszm. I have gotten to the point where I just don't even respond back in some cases and pretty much most of the time I just say "yes dear" or "OK". When she goes non-liniar I just smile and say "Its OK, really its not that big of a deal" to which I get at a shrill "IT'S A BIG DEAL TO ME!"

Let me introduce our friend psychosis...

[M.D. Holloway]

The fight last night was over a picture button I bought - it is a button that the football team mom does. The moms wear them and they have a pic of their kid and his number. I guess we talked about this a few weeks ago (I really do not remember this conversation) but she decided to spend $80 on 4 customized T shirts and forgo the $4 button. OK.

Last night I got a button and she pretty much went exponential about how I waste money and don't listen and bla bla bla. Our Son then said "Mom, all the cool moms have them and your a cool mom so we wanted you to wear one as well."

smooth...

She didn't know what to say to that but got back on the whole communication thing.
This horse has been beat'n into its fundemental elements of carbon, hydrogen and oxygen along with a lil calcium and a few metals. Stay tuned for a truely horrific display of a shriking women that is able to breakdown the common elements into sub-atomic particles by wearing the f*** out of a subject. Quarks here we come...

[M.D. Holloway]

I sure do have to thank you bunch folks for letting me vent...

[Rikao4]

props to little Lubie..
he is quick..

Rika

[dtw]

Originally Posted by LubeMaster77

I sure do have to thank you bunch folks for letting me vent...

I see a future for your boy in sales, Mike.

Protect your kids, and we'll keep you sane here...

[pwd72s]

Originally Posted by LubeMaster77

I sure do have to thank you bunch folks for letting me vent...

Rant away Mike...anything that helps.

[tabs]

The more nonplussed, non reactive, non emotional you are the crazier it will drive her. This all just feeds her loss of identity. That she no longer has any effectiveness, that she doesn't count.

[Oh Haha]

Originally Posted by pwd72s

rant away mike...anything that helps.

+1

[rammstein]

I'm really impressed with your son's response. I should hire him to teach me how to handle women.

[M.D. Holloway]

da boy iz a playa!

TABS - she has stated that she doesn't think I care anymore because I don't get mad and yell. Hay, it takes two to fight, one person fighting is called psychosis!

But your observations do raise a point as to why certain folks on this bored try to get others goats...prehaps they just want to feel like someone cares?

[Laneco]

Originally Posted by tabs

The more nonplussed, non reactive, non emotional you are the crazier it will drive her. This all just feeds her loss of identity. That she no longer has any effectiveness, that she doesn't count.

Tabs is right.

Your wife and I are alot alike Lubey (except that I would cut my hands off before I left a child crying in their room for the reason she did) and if you did this to me, I would wait until you fell asleep, sew the sheets around you, and beat you to death with a cast iron skillet. Or I would wait until you were under your car working and lower the jack abruptly. It would take you a few minutes of flopping around scared ****less and knowing I did it - but you would die shortly. All things that are manageable by a pissed off blind woman.

Many people work within the confines of the non-reactive behavior. The rest of us are driven nuts by it. Flat out speaking in tongues bat-**** crazy. Not only does it make us mad, really, really mad, we lose respect for you.

She has no respect for you. Establish boundaries and defend them vigorously. I suspect it is already too late to save the relationship, but you can make your life a great deal less miserable with boundaries.

angela

[Seahawk]

I have flown off of very small ships in the middle of the night in big seas to go shoot at people who were mad at me; and I was but mildly afraid...but, frankly, the below made me tinkle in my khakis just a little bit.

Originally Posted by Laneco

Tabs is right.

Your wife and I are alot alike Lubey (except that I would cut my hands off before I left a child crying in their room for the reason she did) and if you did this to me, I would wait until you fell asleep, sew the sheets around you, and beat you to death with a cast iron skillet. Or I would wait until you were under your car working and lower the jack abruptly. It would take you a few minutes of flopping around scared ****less and knowing I did it - but you would die shortly. All things that are manageable by a pissed off blind woman.

[stomachmonkey]

Originally Posted by Seahawk

I have flown off of very small ships in the middle of the night in big seas to go shoot at people who were mad at me; and I was but mildly afraid...but, frankly, the below made me tinkle in a khakis just a little bit.

I'm currently posting from under my desk.

[svandamme]

So Angela,

you're saying you are a lot alike, boundaries, sure thing...

But how would you set them?
Explain with practical examples, what methods?

I grew up with an irrational crazy, self centered mum...
I'm still dealing with the crazy nut when i'm cleaning up the mess she made out of A me, B my handicapped sister, C my 9 year old kid sister who still lives with her. D everybody else who has to deal with her.


So if you tell me how to deal rationally with the irrational , then i'm sure should be able to tell you how to make a monkey fly an Immelman with a 747...

If you want to know what works best for me? Brutal tactics, cold and calculated... Pushing the buttons so the crazy thinks your more crazy then they are...I'm talking running scared so they avoid you like the plague... I'm talking chess like thinking ahead...

And then double up the effort to make sure anything you do yourself, when dealing with others is pretty much : outstanding, incorruptible, honorable, consistent.. in short: morally,ethically flawless. Especially regarding the kids who are in the middle of things

I'm talking about somebody who's had no reason to be the rotten person she happens to be.

So i'm not sure i'de advise it for Mike either..

Don't get me wrong, i'm not a hateful person, i prefer avoiding problems and avoiding my mother as much as possible... in fact, i'm a Budhist, sort off..
I even went to live abroad, and not talk to her for a few years...Only to return and see the carnage that she created in my absence.

The truth of the matter is, if i don't keep her down..
my 2 younger sisters who aren't as capable or "aged" as i am ... will have to go through the same kind of hell i went through...

I'm not doing this because it's the easy way, i do what i do, because it's what has to be done, and i don't think you can deal rationally with an irrational problem.

[M.D. Holloway]

Angela,
So help me understand this, are you saying I should have a car lowered on to me for the way I have been behaving?

[m21sniper]

Originally Posted by LubeMaster77

Snipe - I get the sense that you think I am a pussy for standing for this. Maybe I am. Its a bit more complicated. Today is her birsthday and I guess I didn;t want a repeat of every holiday we have had in the past year or so - always drama. I just wanted to have one desent holiday.

Leaving or kicking her out would actually be very easy except there is more to it. Fist off I work and the kids have various activities. I think I could figuer out a logistical solution while I am in town but what about when I am not? I travel almost every other week for work. I might only be gone two to four days each trip but what of the kids during that time? If I could have a family member step up, move in and help I would. There just isn't anyone available to do so. That is the major stumbling block...

I don't think you're a Pussy. Massochistic perhaps, but you're no pussy.

[tabs]

Lubby did you ever tell her that you know she is scared shyteless?

That you just don't know how to handle it, that you tend to go back and do what has worked for you in the past. which is to be logical, rational, unemotional...to intellectualize.

[m21sniper]

Lube i have dated some crazy chicks in the past. It's like walking around toting a grenade with a pulled pin. You never know when it's going to explode and maim everyone in the room. Sound familiar?

You have my deepest condolences for the situation you're in.

[tabs]

[QUOTE=svandamme;4905990]






So if you tell me how to deal rationally with the irrational , then i'm sure should be able to tell you how to make a monkey fly an Immelman with a 747...



.

QUOTE]


I have done it...a long time ago...

Much to the amazment of several professionals I was able to talk a guy into coming in so they could put him into USC County boom boom room that night.

Its a matter of understanding their imagery and translating it back into the rational.

Not only do I know how it works I know why it works.

[BlueSkyJaunte]

Originally Posted by LubeMaster77

So help me understand this, are you saying I should have a car lowered on to me for the way I have been behaving?

Lubey, you're attempting to apply logic in a situation (dealing with women) where logic has no meaning.

IMHO your wife just needs a good spanking (figurative or literal, take your pick). She has been getting away with too much bad behavior for too long with zero repercussions.