Let's hear some crazy excuses you've heard people use when calling in sick

[cantdrv55]

A coworker said he can't get to work this week because he doesn't have enough money for gas after buying his daughter her prom dress.

Another said she has to go on the vacation she booked even though she doesn't have any vacation time saved. The trip was to follow her favorite boy band play in Canada.

[sammyg2]

I have to pick up my one armed grandma at the airport because she has two bags.

I have to take my grandma to Mexico for her laetrile treatments. (old guys will remember that)

The reason I had to call in sick collect is because I don't have money to get home!

[1990C4S]

'Sprained my ankle playing Nintendo'

[wdfifteen]

From someone who has always worked off-site and was told she was going to have to work in the office - "The racism and unprofessionalism in the office is an unhealthy work environment for me." Mind you, she had never worked in the office. She ended up quitting, hired a lawyer to sue us for wanting to make her get up and come to work every day. That went nowhere, but she did get unemployment compensation after we fought it for 6 months.

[masraum]

Originally Posted by cantdrv55

A coworker said he can't get to work this week because he doesn't have enough money for gas after buying his daughter her prom dress.

Another said she has to go on the vacation she booked even though she doesn't have any vacation time saved. The trip was to follow her favorite boy band play in Canada.

Those are two doozies!

Originally Posted by wdfifteen

She ended up quitting,, but she did get unemployment compensation after we fought it for 6 months.

She quit AND got unemployment?!? Wow, what an amazing scam.

[Oh Haha]

This is timely. I was disposing of my old DayPlanner pages yesterday just reading some notes from when I ran the vending branch.

One guy called in ALOT. I ran across one yesterday.

"Tom called in at 5:45am. Can't find his Prozac. Will call me later."

Trust me, he NEEDED to find his Prozac.

I later had to fire him for stealing a bag of cash to fix his JEEP.

[GH85Carrera]

We had several employees that regularly had the Monday Morning illness. Somehow in all those years they were NEVER EVER sick on payday.

My favorite lame excuse I heard from one guy is the he had diarrhea. I always told him, take some Imodium AD & that we have a bathroom here.

[porsche4life]

I've thought about calling in with a case of Anal Glaucoma.... But since my boss is a pharmacist he would see right through that....

[on2wheels52]

"I've thought about calling in with a case of Anal Glaucoma"

Nothing that rectoctomy surgery won't fix.
Jim

[avi8torny]

One of my wife's students came in a few days after he missed school with a note saying "Dan missed school on xxxxxxxx due to GENERAL MALAISE"

I thought that was brilliant.

[slakjaw]

"my power went out and the power company forgot to knock on my door to wake me up"

What do I win?

[trekkor]

I had an employee call in one morning:

"Uh, I'm sick or something..."

Same guy, after a no-show, no-call, calls me 36 hours later:

"So, I guess I'm pretty much fired, then?"




KT

[Dueller]

I'm calling in well...I just feel too good to be at work

[red-beard]

When I interning as an Engineer, we had a woman who was, well, a drunk.

A couple of her better ones:

She'd call in sometime well after 8AM,

Co-worker: "Who's this?" - her voice was slurred, etc

Me: "James"

Co-worker: "My dogs foot is limping. And I'm gonna have to take him to the vet." - Grammar was, as it was.

Or

Co-Worker: "My refrigerator is making a funny noise. I had a repairman out to fix it last time. So I know how to fix it."

Eventually, she went on a bender at Thanksgiving and didn't show back up until January. We heard rumors that she was being given 3 months to find a new job, or she would be fired. After forgetting about these rumors, in late March, she took us aside and said she had just gotten this great job offer from a State Employees Credit Union....

[red-beard]

Originally Posted by GH85Carrera

My favorite lame excuse I heard from one guy is the he had diarrhea. I always told him, take some Imodium AD & that we have a bathroom here.

While I was on assignment in North-West India, it wasn't a matter of "if", just a matter of "how bad". I don't think I've ever used that as an excuse ever again.

[MT930]

Typical January call

Hey it snowed 14'' inches last night I'm going skiing, Hope that's alright. I'll be back when the mountain gets too tracked up.

[legion]

About 5 months into my current gig, I called in sick for the first time.

My excuse? I was taken to the hospital in the back of an ambulance the night before after spraining my ankle playing volleyball in the company league at the company's private park. By the time I got out of the ER, the park was locked up for the night and I couldn't get to my car (girlfriend drove me home from the ER, who did not live with me). I had no way of gettting to work until the company park reopened the next morning at 11:00.

My boss told me I had to use vacation instead of sick time.

[stomachmonkey]

Had a guy whose attendance had become very erratic.

He got the obligatory verbal and written warnings and was about to be let go.

"Hi, this is XXXX Rehab. James is here for the next two weeks. He will not be coming into work."

Call to verify.

"Yes, he is here. Legally we are not allowed to tell you why."

Legally we could not fire him as checking into rehab is covered as a disability.

Bought him another couple months.

[VincentVega]

I always thought it was funny when some one is on the phone with work giving the excuse just either some one tees off or a car fires up at the track. Sick? Uh, yeah, that's it.

[Dueller]

Originally Posted by VincentVega

I always thought it was funny when some one is on the phone with work giving the excuse just either some one tees off or a car fires up at the track. Sick? Uh, yeah, that's it.

Hey...sick of work is an excuse