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"She's not the brightest crayon in the box but she sure is fun"
"Smart as a box of rocks" "It's like watching monkeys fuc* a football" |
.....that's about as dumb as our President.
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You can't swing a dead cat around here without hitting [fill in the blank]
That's slicker than pig phlegm. |
Quote:
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fish belly white - is a Southernism
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Quote:
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Some of my favorites.
He's about as useless as tits on a bull. I'm busier than a one legged man an asskicking contest. |
as sexy as socks on a rooster
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"Shakin like a dog schittin a chicken bone"
There's nobody that can't get a visual on that "That'll sell like clap on a hooker" Learned form an old car salesman |
Nervous as a long-tailed cat in a rocking chair factory.
Rare as rocking horse manure. |
Like trying to nail jello to a tree.
Like kicking dead whales down the beach. |
I could sheit through a screen and not hit a wire:
Now thats a loose bowel! |
Tight like a ten year old
On it like a rat on a cheeto |
if your aunt had balls, she'd be your uncle.
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He's/she's as smart as a house plant.
He's/she's not the sharpest knife on the tree. (I like mixing my metaphors). Not really a saying, but anytime I can mix in Rocket Surgeon into conversation, I'm happy. |
I've been to three world's fairs, two rodeos and a goat roping contest, but I've never seen the likes of the stuff that goes on around here before!
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Not the smartest monkey in the meadow
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Busy as a cat trying to cover up schist on a linoleum floor.
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A local radio sports talk jockey got fired a few years ago for saying...
"Their defense was softer than the inside of a cheerleader's thighs at midnight." |
"as popular as pork chops in Jerusalem"
"as busy as a bricklayer in Baghdad" |
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