How would react if your spouse asked you...

[widgeon13]

Why is this even up for discussion?

NO!

[Porsche-O-Phile]

NO!

If you're compassionate to their plight I'd consider giving them a couple thousand bucks with the clearly-stated condition that there will be NO MORE (i.e. this is not an open-ended line of credit) and they are expected to use it to get themselves their own place with it, not just go have a night on the town or two.

Absolutely no way in hell would I allow them to ride in and set up shop - you'll never get them out, you'll be liable for them and anything they might do (possibly putting your home at risk) and you might even be breaking the law if (when) they stay longer than a certain time interval (more than x number of persons based on number of bedrooms - some municipalities have laws against this)

Lots of potential downside, no upside. I absolutely would JUST SAY NO!

[Aurel]

Looks to me like they want to live free of charge for a while to save for a down payment on a new house. Otherwise, why would they not rent form the start? You said they had a house in PA. Are they selling it? Either way, my answer would be Hell NO!.

[Seahawk]

My wife and I generally keep an open mind about each others requests: I don't recall a, my way or the highway" episode in our marriage, but this would rise to the occasion.

The rule is visitors are on their way the third day unless they are in a hotel.

Sorry, family physics are as immutable as gravity. Third day is moving day.

[rouxroux]

Originally Posted by onewhippedpuppy

Not only no, but hell no. Anyone that is willing to come and impose themselves on you will likely not be a polite house-guest, nor will they leave quickly or easily. You mentioned that they wanted to buy a house, which is all well and good, but why can't they rent for 6 months until they find a house to buy?

My wife's sister was having troubles in life, so we allowed her to live with us while she finished college (supposedly 3 semesters). 3 years of hell later I finally told her that we were moving and she wasn't coming with us. In our 10 years together, nothing has caused more fights between my wife and I, and the experience negatively tainted my wife's relationship with her sister. So I've lived it dude, run like hell.

+1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BTDT, again, Hell no!

[lin7310948]

im 70 years old and my livein girlfriend of 7 years, who is 43 and works...knows better than to ask such a stupid question...im with sammyg2 on this one!!!

[FLYGEEZER]

Run Forest, Run!!!!

[jyl]

I would do that, for family, in an emergency. That they want to move to a different state and choose to do it before finding full time work, is not an emergency. The answer is:
- No.

Has your wife already offered this? Then the follow-on is:
- Don't ever offer something like this again without speaking to me first. You've put me in a bad position, of being permanently unpopular when I say "no".

[mikester]

It would depend for me. I allowed my sister to live with us for a while with an agreed upon rent while she was working on her Master's degree. She was a total flake and would simply avoid us when the rent was due. I hated it. I would never extend myself for her like that again. She is a known whack job.

But, on the other hand my brother - who in a previous life went through an extended period of unemployment and mooching (right after high school) but got his act together and is now a very responsible person. If he fell on hard times I would help him. If he wanted to move out here to CA (which he has expressed in the past but never really acted on) I would invite him (after talking to my wife first) to stay with us while he looked for a place. I doubt that he would move without a job though having been unemployed before.

That's just it - they really shouldn't be moving prior to getting their act together with jobs. If they had jobs and were known to be responsible and my relationship with them was one in which I considered them MY family - not just my wife's family then I would be willing to consider it.

For example, my wife's best friend has fallen on hard times while working to start he own business. During the summer she wanted to rent her own house out to vacationers to make ends meet while she worked on her start up. She needed a place to stay. I had no trouble offering out guest room to her for however long she wanted. She is always welcome in our house and I consider her a family member more than a friend (and I have told her this). She has MY family as friends on her facebook for example. Bottom line is that I know her, I know what to expect from her and I know she is responsible.

IF you can say that about these people you're talking about then I would probably be willing to help them. If you can't - then you can't.

[island911]

Originally Posted by fastfredracing

... I cannot imagine what 7 people in this house would be like. I have also been on a 5 year mission of remodeling, the kitchen is next, big project, and having a couple of babies around sort of bothers me a little.
I may be spending a lot of time in the shop in the near future.

There ya go . . "Safety" . . . the PC universally accepted excuse.



. ..if that's not good enough, tell them that you have another family that you're considering for the space -- a progressive threesome of Asian midget men with an adopted Ethiopian hermaphrodite baby, and a pet sloth.

Clearly you wouldn't want anyone thinking that you're anti-sloth!

[Oracle]

+1 (in TX)

Originally Posted by Joe Bob

Find them a place...pay the rent...or move out. Three wimmen in one house....yer nucking futz.

[Targa Me]

I would say no. A couple months turns into 6 or more. Then you'll be hearing the excuse of "we cant find any work". So then what, you put them out on the street? Doubtful.
If it were just your SIL, maybe; but a SIL, her gf and kids...sorry, it aint gonna happen.
And on top of all this because they have no jobs you're gonna feed 4 extra mouths?? Then if the baby's get sick, cuz that's what kids do... you're gonna pay for meds too? The kids are 8 and 14 months, so you're gonna pay for diapers too.
Just say NO.

[cashflyer]

Originally Posted by fastfredracing

If her lesbian sister, and her life partner, and their two adopted african american children( 8, and 14 months old) could live with you for a while?. {snip} Right now, I am the king of my castle, the master of my domain, but I am scared for my future.

What do I say?
I say, "Are you ready for a divorce?"

Your wife and her sister are blood kin. Her sister and partner live a lifestyle that often requires a predisposition to being on the defensive against expected attacks.

Anything you say negatively will be construed as an attack on them, and your wife will side with her sister 99% of the time. You're going to lose every argument, and will eventually be a pariah in the home - but you will still be expected to fork over the moolah to cover everyones expenses.

Your wife should have the intelligence and consideration to see this and avoid it, however if she brought it up then she is already considering it.

Expect arguments, petty bickering, and backstabbing.
Expect lies.

If they move in, you will be moving out. It's just a matter of time.

[kach22i]

Originally Posted by fastfredracing

If her lesbian sister, and her life partner, and their two adopted african american children( 8, and 14 months old) could live with you for a while?.

Can you fit this in your driveway and hook them up to your utilities?

1980 shasta 19ft model 1925 - $1200 ( (Butler))
1980 shasta 19ft model 1925

1980 Shasta , 19 ft in length , Good Camper , some imperfections a very small leak when it rains (Icant find it) its been covered every winter and when it is not being used. no hot water but everything else works. has toilet tub and sink . Good for campsite or hunting camp. pictures upon request or I will post later RV dealer says its value about $ 1800. it has a Title but not inspected.

My fee to design you a house addition would be more than this camper.

[Bill Douglas]

I have an idea.

Invite them and the kids around for the afternoon and BBQ dinner on Saturday.

Without them quite knowing it you are putting tem to the test.

Start off by sitting around watching sport on TV, a bit of chanel surfing, casually scratching your crotch whenever Kendra accidently flashes her tits. Then saying to a dyke "Hey Luvie, while your in the kitchen would you fetch me another beer" "That's a good girl, thanks". Then "Ok Janice (whoever) would you go out and buy some steaks, good ones, not that cheap rubbish" and "And Sue, would you go out and buy more beer, oh, and some wine for yourself". And start giving instructions about them pre-heating the BBQ, and not to let the kids touch the TV or sterio. If anyone suggests you should do something explain that you have spent two hours doing the lawns and garden so it is nice for them.

So in other words, turn the afternoon/evening into a disaster. Then say to everyone "Well, we can't even survive a pleasant BBQ afternoon together, so there is no way we can have this temporary live together thing.

[Rick V]

Originally Posted by cashflyer

If they move in, you will be moving out. It's just a matter of time.

Yup. Trust me. I know this to be the truth

[island911]

Originally Posted by cashflyer

What do I say?
I say, "Are you ready for a divorce?"

Your wife and her sister are blood kin. Her sister and partner live a lifestyle that often requires a predisposition to being on the defensive against expected attacks.....

"a predisposition to being on the defensive" --OR (the non-PC)-- "man-hating, strap-on, lesbo losers" ?


But seriously, don't think for a moment that they will be courteous or appreciative of your home. Tho' they may give a smile to you, as they push you down the back stairs.

[enzo1]

tell your wife the "ban" on strip clubs will be lifted when they move in and put back in place when they move out. No remodeling, the house stays the same... nothing notta zip... then welcome them in with open arms as you go "middle age crazy".... fun fun fun! You want your wife to realize that her life will be changing in a way that she doesn't want without you being the "told you so " person

[Zeke]

Originally Posted by enzo1

tell your wife the "ban" on strip clubs will be lifted when they move in and put back in place when they move out. No remodeling, the house stays the same... nothing notta zip... then welcome them in with open arms as you go "middle age crazy".... fun fun fun! You want your wife to realize that her life will be changing in a way that she doesn't want without you being the "told you so " person

Dangerous living if you think you can extort your wife.

[Aurel]

If they were two good looking lesbians with no kids, it would be an entirely different story.