The Man Code

[scottmandue]

List cut, pasted, and emailed to friends.

I am guilty of violating #14, I like all kinds of critters but cats seem to make the best low maintenance pets.

Speaking of email...

#26 No man will forward a chain email regardless of whatever good or bad luck it promises you.

[mossguy]

Originally Posted by jyl

What's the man rule on crying? That needs to be included.

Can you cry at a movie? When reading a book? How about if your best friend is snippy to you? You botch your ballet audition?

Okay then. Suppose your wife leaves you? Your Porsche is totaled? Your arrow misses the hog? (be honest, vash)

Or can you only cry when there's a death? And - what deaths? Do dogs and cats count?

Assuming crying is permitted, what manner of crying? Do you have to be in private? Can you weep in the midst of your buddies, and are they expected to bawl and hug in reponse?
May you employ a hanky?

Yes! Especially dogs and cats.

Best,
Tom

[Porsche-O-Phile]

29. Any man caught watching a "chick flick" may be optionally given one or more power wedgies by another man or men. Unless he can conclusively prove that watching said "chick flick" directly resulted in his getting laid, in which case other men should (but are not obligated to) buy him a beer.

30. No man may own a car that a 2/3 majority of a 12-man panel classifies as "cute". If one is willed or given to him, he must dispose of it by the most expeditious means possible.

31. A man MAY however drive a "cute" car (as defined in #30) for the sole and exclusive purpose of testing it after repairs for a girlfriend, spouse, significant other or female friend, only. Such vehicles may not be driven - even for short distances - for errands or any other purpose, a man must walk, ride a horse, thumb a ride, whatever in preference.

32. No man may use Jiffy Lube. Ever. Although he can work there. Mandatory 30-day card suspension.

33. No man may ever ask another man "do these pants make my ass look fat?" Mandatory 30-day card suspension.

[onewhippedpuppy]

No crying allowed. C'mon guys, it's fundamental.

[scottmandue]

Originally Posted by Porsche-O-Phile

29. Any man caught watching a "chick flick" may be optionally given one or more power wedgies by another man or men. Unless he can conclusively prove that watching said "chick flick" directly resulted in his getting laid, in which case other men should (but are not obligated to) buy him a beer.

30. No man may own a car that a 2/3 majority of a 12-man panel classifies as "cute". If one is willed or given to him, he must dispose of it by the most expeditious means possible.

31. A man MAY however drive a "cute" car (as defined in #30) for the sole and exclusive purpose of testing it after repairs for a girlfriend, spouse, significant other or female friend, only. Such vehicles may not be driven - even for short distances - for errands or any other purpose, a man must walk, ride a horse, thumb a ride, whatever in preference.

32. No man may use Jiffy Lube. Ever. Although he can work there. Mandatory 30-day card suspension.

33. No man may ever ask another man "do these pants make my ass look fat?" Mandatory 30-day card suspension.

Phew... guilty of 29 but fortune I qualify for the disclaimer... a pointer for the new guys out there RENT the chick flick rather than go to the theater... not only saves you money but when the lady is all hot and mushy and ready to get busy you can jump right on it... in extreme cases you may even get lucky before the movie is over.

[enzo1]

#6- friend must have at least one HOT sister ....... #34- must visit Pelican Off Topic 'Chest Thread' at least once a week

[M.D. Holloway]

Originally Posted by lane912

i violate #18 often

Second best thing to watch two hot women kiss...watching two hot women fight (nakid)!

Try tussling naked with your sig other some time - it spices things up to a new level!

[M.D. Holloway]

I may have to print this off and hang it up in our Son's room! Never to young to learn the Man Code!

[scottmandue]

A man never EVER plays with dolls... especially the life size ones!

[Z-man]

Originally Posted by Porsche-O-Phile

29. Any man caught watching a "chick flick" may be optionally given one or more power wedgies by another man or men. Unless he can conclusively prove that watching said "chick flick" directly resulted in his getting laid, in which case other men should (but are not obligated to) buy him a beer.

Perhaps you should revise the punishment, because I propose another rule:

34. No man shall ever touch another man's undergarments. Undergarments include underwear (boxers or briefs), jockstraps, and even undershirts.

And I don't care how much satisfaction a man gets from giving a nerd a wedgie -- that's just not a place a man should be reaching for on another man!!!!
-Z-man.

[jyl]

You gotta make an exception for GI Joe.

A man never EVER plays with dolls... especially the life size ones!

[kanadary]

i just bursted out laughing at #33.. that's a classic.

[dagriff]

Crying at a movie? Depends on the movie.






Actually, as a former Cooper S owner, I cried at the Italian job when the dumped the Minis out the back of the bus.........

[nineball]

Originally Posted by dagriff

Crying at a movie? Depends on the movie.






Actually, as a former Cooper S owner, I cried at the Italian job when the dumped the Minis out the back of the bus.........

you just lost your card for 60 days for posting not 1 but 2 clips from a chick flick.

[dagriff]

Originally Posted by nineball

you just lost your card for 60 days for posting not 1 but 2 clips from a chick flick.

Viewing of chick flicks for research purposes only.

[nineball]

Originally Posted by dagriff

Viewing of chick flicks for research purposes only.

you just lost another 30 days for trying to defend watching and posting clips from a chick flick.

[enzo1]

Originally Posted by enzo1

#6- friend must have at least one HOT sister .......#35 must visit Pelican Off Topic 'Chest Thread' at least once a week

[speeder]

That sister rule is a little excessively punitive. Some of the rest are funny, though.

[scottmandue]

Originally Posted by Porsche-O-Phile

33. No man may ever ask another man "do these pants make my ass look fat?" Mandatory 30-day card suspension.

I would amend this to no man make comment or solicit comment on another mans clothing.

[dondarnell]

#34 - A man shall never write a check at Home Depot, Lowes, or any hardware store.