Questionable life choices

[HHI944]

I feel it important to add that we are currently very good friends. Also, I believe a lot of her trepidation lies in the fact that she doesn't want to feel as if she's using me.

[HHI944]

In case it's not obvious, I'm pretty much smitten. She's funny, smart, we have a lot in common and she's the most caring person I've ever met. She gives endlessly and never asks for or expects anything in return.

[pwd72s]

You're not going to listen to the advice given, are you?

Well, you won't be the first

Nor the last.

[Noah930]

Originally Posted by HHI944

In case it's not obvious, I'm pretty much smitten. She's funny, smart, we have a lot in common and she's the most caring person I've ever met. She gives endlessly and never asks for or expects anything in return.

Uh, those are considered good qualities by most.

[legion]

Does she have kids? That will get complicated real quick.

[DARISC]

Originally Posted by HHI944

This really isn't, even remotely, about sex...

Originally Posted by HHI944

In case it's not obvious, I'm pretty much smitten. She's funny, smart, we have a lot in common and she's the most caring person I've ever met. She gives endlessly and never asks for or expects anything in return.

Can't help but wonder if you've considered she might represent a Mother figure? How would she be 'using' you (in her mind)?

Or, could this be some kind of Harold and Maude scenario?

Good luck, whatever transpires.

[legion]

Oedipus complex?

[jyl]

When you are 30, she will be 50 and menopausal. When you are 40, she will be 60 and easing into her golden years. When you are 50, she will be 70 and more or less getting elderly. When you are 60 she will be 80 and likely infirm to some degree. When you are 70, you will likely be alone. None of this feels like it matters, since you are both still in the prime of life. But it will.

Regardless of how wonderful a person she is.

Obviously there can be exceptions. I know a 70 y/o woman who is hot as a pistol, looks like Candice Bergen (as she was 15 years ago) I would admit to having carnal fantasies about her if I were one to admit to such things, which I'm not. But that is like betting your life's course on the lottery. Very bad odds.

[Racerbvd]

Guys, she may be 21 years older than him, but that doesn't mean she looks it..

I feel it important to add that we are currently very good friends. Also, I believe a lot of her trepidation lies in the fact that she doesn't want to feel as if she's using me

Using you for what??? Is she married, are you something to take mind off a divorce??? Enjoy the ride, but don't expect it to last...

[john70t]

Originally Posted by HHI944

In case it's not obvious, I'm pretty much smitten. She's funny, smart, we have a lot in common and she's the most caring person I've ever met. She gives endlessly and never asks for or expects anything in return.

This, too, may pass.
It's not an age thing, it's a woman/man interaction thing.

The bonds that aren't broken easily have deep roots, built over years and decades.

[Hugh R]

I have a friend she married a guy 25 years older she is about 50 now and wants to travel he's now 75 and is waiting to die.

[DanielDudley]

Originally Posted by Hugh R

I have a friend she married a guy 25 years older she is about 50 now and wants to travel he's now 75 and is waiting to die.

Women will do that to ya.

[Geronimo '74]

Go for it, you won't be able to resist anyway.... (even with the job situation you're both in )

Who knows what the future brings.
It's not like you'll be welded together for life or anything, when things go wrong, you split and move on...
This is my way of saying that I think it's not going to last but life too short to try and pick out the ones that last a lifetime. Finding a life partner is a crapshoot, you get lucky or you don't. If you don't shoot, you'll always miss, so go ahead and try. That was what you were going to do even before you posted this, so do it.

[dregdot]

As a 45 year old woman - I would say it probably isn't worth having a relationship but for a fun fling it might be worth it.

[Danimal16]

DUUUUDDDDDEEEE, get a Golden Retriever and take if for a walk in a very cold rain.

[scottbombedout]

How old are you?

[Joe Bob]

Runaway........spend a couple of days at a Geriatric Ward.....change a few Depends.

[sc_rufctr]

It sounds like you love her. I believe we can't choose who we love.

That's it... You can't negotiate or deal your way out of this. It happened because you're right for each other.

You need to do something about it now.
A lot of people never find real love and don't believe it even exists. You should consider yourself very lucky.

>
>
>
>
>

Forget the age difference and just go for it.

[dentist90]

I dunno about some of the advice given. A good personal relationship will outlast the good looks and crazy sex (and for some of us that ship sailed a decade ago ). Twenty years' difference is huge early on, but becomes less as you get older.
I am curious to know why you think this relationship is bad for you. I'm sure she will get some good-natured ribbing (cradle robber, cougar, empty nest syndrome). Legion's question about her kids is the biggest issue I can think of. But they must be old enough to not think you would try to be their new father.

I'm with Geronimo on this one. So why would she be a bad life choice if she makes you happy?

You may spend the rest of your life wondering "what if...?"

[widgeon13]

Hookers and blow!