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biosurfer1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
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Potential job offer. When do I bring up...

...the fact that I have a wedding planned in April and need a week off?

I have interviewed for a new job recently and got a call today they want a second interview and all but told me I have the job (hopefully thats true!)

Anyways, I have my wedding and honeymoon planned already for this year. I'm not worried about the honeymoon because thats in October and I should have vacation accrued by then, but the wedding is in April and I may not have enough time yet. So when is the best time to bring this up? I want to make sure its a solid offer but don't want to accept then spring that on them and start off on the wrong foot. I get the feeling that none of this should a problem for this company but I still would like some input on how to go about bringing it up.

Thanks!

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Old 01-05-2012, 07:50 PM
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I remember my first job with IBM fresh out of college. He was an older guy...what'd ya do this weekend? I got married ...Aren't I a big help?
Old 01-05-2012, 08:05 PM
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I had this same problem when I got married - was starting the new job and heading off to the honeymoon within the first month. No vacation accrued - they just let me take the time off unpaid. Wasn't a big deal to them or me and I brought it up when we started to talk about the start date. It's life - they should understand that. If they don't well, you probably don't want to work there.
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Old 01-05-2012, 08:12 PM
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This is easy. Don't get married. You can always find a new guy, but a good job?
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Old 01-05-2012, 08:38 PM
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I'm sure the picture of Elisha Cuthbert in my avatar threw you off, but I'd have to find a new woman, not a guy....and I won't be finding a better gal than the one I'll be marrying. Not only does she put up with my crazy Porsche obsession, she even said once I start the new job, I should look for another one!!(couldn't possibly be because I talk about getting another one all the time)
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Old 01-05-2012, 09:33 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by biosurfer1 View Post
I'm sure the picture of Elisha Cuthbert in my avatar threw you off, but I'd have to find a new woman, not a guy....and I won't be finding a better gal than the one I'll be marrying. Not only does she put up with my crazy Porsche obsession, she even said once I start the new job, I should look for another one!!(couldn't possibly be because I talk about getting another one all the time)
Perfect!

And congratulations!
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Old 01-05-2012, 09:42 PM
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This should not be brought up until they are putting an offer on the table and you are done negotiating salary, vacation and any other options (the verbal phase). You will say "there is a small issue that I have early into the job that I need to tell you about ...". Of course getting married is something that is perfectly acceptable, it isn't that you just don't want to miss spring break with you college buddies. You will want to tell them that you do not care how you get the time off, time unpaid, vacation into the negative, you will work with them, whatever is easiest.

Good Luck and Congrats on both the job and wedding!

G
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Old 01-05-2012, 10:25 PM
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Originally Posted by biosurfer1 View Post
.... Not only does she put up with my crazy Porsche obsession, she even said once I start the new job, I should look for another one!!
Moses's post threw me off too. Now I just have to ask. So once you start the new job, she wants you to look for another job too ? Like Mikester said, this is routine stuff...if "they've" got a problem with it...you probably don't want to work there anyways and may as well find out sooner rather than later. Good luck on the job and congrats!!!
Old 01-06-2012, 02:04 AM
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It's life - they should understand that. If they don't well, you probably don't want to work there.
There you have it.
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Old 01-06-2012, 02:20 AM
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I had the opposite problem. I was fired the day I got back from my honeymoon.
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Old 01-06-2012, 02:52 AM
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I had the opposite problem. I was fired the day I got back from my honeymoon.
You probably looked so drained and worn out that your employer thought you would be useless!!!
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Old 01-06-2012, 03:37 AM
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Nailed it. If the employer can't deal with a one week vacation due to a life decision (for the better) you don't want to work there.

ANY respectable employer is open to a little negotiation over this. I took a job and as things were getting hammered out mentioned that I had a XX day vacation planned for a while and would this be a problem? Nope. Done deal.

Larry
Old 01-06-2012, 04:40 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by aigel View Post
This should not be brought up until they are putting an offer on the table and you are done negotiating salary, vacation and any other options (the verbal phase). You will say "there is a small issue that I have early into the job that I need to tell you about ...". Of course getting married is something that is perfectly acceptable, it isn't that you just don't want to miss spring break with you college buddies. You will want to tell them that you do not care how you get the time off, time unpaid, vacation into the negative, you will work with them, whatever is easiest.

Good Luck and Congrats on both the job and wedding!

G
i agree with this. just make sure you do not quit old job and then start new job, and then tell them. if you tell them once you start the new job, and they dont like it for whatever reason, they might fire you and you may not qualify for unemployment if you dont have enough weeks into the job...check your local rules

better to put cards on table before you put yourself in a vulnerable position
Old 01-06-2012, 04:42 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by aigel View Post
This should not be brought up until they are putting an offer on the table and you are done negotiating salary, vacation and any other options (the verbal phase). You will say "there is a small issue that I have early into the job that I need to tell you about ...". Of course getting married is something that is perfectly acceptable, it isn't that you just don't want to miss spring break with you college buddies. You will want to tell them that you do not care how you get the time off, time unpaid, vacation into the negative, you will work with them, whatever is easiest.
G
This. Once they put the offer on the table, they will feel as if you are the best person for the job and will be more inclined to negotiate to protect their investment.
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Old 01-06-2012, 04:45 AM
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I go for putting your cards on the table. Dont give up the old job as the new employer may not give u time off to get married but give the latter the heads up on your plans. Always have a backup plan
Old 01-06-2012, 04:50 AM
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I've dealt with this personally and with those I've hired many times. It's not unusual. Wait until they give you an offer. Then you say, "I want to make sure this isn't an issue. I'm getting married and would need a week off in April unpaid" We just hired a new Director of Development who's wife is due in Mid January. It's life. A quality employer and new boss shouldn't blink.
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Old 01-06-2012, 07:05 AM
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Thanks guys...I got my plan now. Like I said, I really don't get the feeling it should be a problem, but I'd rather bring it up at the right time either way.
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Old 01-06-2012, 07:28 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by aigel View Post
This should not be brought up until they are putting an offer on the table and you are done negotiating salary, vacation and any other options (the verbal phase). You will say "there is a small issue that I have early into the job that I need to tell you about ...". Of course getting married is something that is perfectly acceptable, it isn't that you just don't want to miss spring break with you college buddies. You will want to tell them that you do not care how you get the time off, time unpaid, vacation into the negative, you will work with them, whatever is easiest.

Good Luck and Congrats on both the job and wedding!

G
Agreed, that's spot on.
Old 01-06-2012, 07:35 AM
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After they give you the offer, be open and honest and tell them about the wedding. Anyone married will understand...
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Old 01-06-2012, 08:44 AM
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I had the opposite problem. I was fired the day I got back from my honeymoon.
And they wonder why people go postal. That really sucks.

I forgive you for the lizard now.

Old 01-06-2012, 11:30 AM
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