Don't Hug Me Bro

bivenator · 08-02-2013, 06:40 AM

I am not much of a hugger. A firm handshake, slap on the shoulder, eye contact, shouldn't that be enough. My family are the ones I hug. It seems that everyone you come in contact with wants to do the bro hug.
I admit that my trepidation may come from not being a very good bro hugger. Kinda like the cool handshake/jive from the 70's that honkies could never master without looking pre-programmed.
I saw a casual acquaintance the other day. I stuck my hand out for the shake, he took my hand, we shook and then his other arm was around my neck before I could get my hand uncleanched. We ended up with our hands smashed between us in an area lower than my comfort zone allowed. I did an evasive manuever that was similar to a meringue dance. Just shake my hand.
Don't hug me bro.

pete3799 · pete3799's Garage

bivenator · 08-02-2013, 06:48 AM

I am not much of a hugger. A firm handshake, slap on the shoulder, eye contact, shouldn't that be enough. My family are the ones I hug. It seems that everyone you come in contact with wants to do the bro hug.
I admit that my trepidation may come from not being a very good bro hugger. Kinda like the cool handshake/jive from the 70's that honkies could never master without looking pre-programmed.
I saw a casual acquaintance the other day. I stuck my hand out for the shake, he took my hand, we shook and then his other arm was around my neck before I could get my hand uncleanched. We ended up with our hands smashed between us in an area lower than my comfort zone allowed. I did an evasive manuever that was similar to a meringue dance. Just shake my hand.
Don't hug me bro.

recycled sixtie · recycled sixtie's Garage

It could be worse. You could be in France and the men would be kissing your cheek!
Even my daughter's boyfriend gives me a hug. I get over this and move on.

Amail · 08-02-2013, 06:54 AM

Punch their guts - that backs 'em right off.

Steve Carlton · 08-02-2013, 07:42 AM

Come here...

Zeke · 08-02-2013, 07:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Steve Carlton

Come here...

LOL.

Don't bug me either. I doubt if I'd be hugging if I won Le Mans.

rusnak · 08-02-2013, 08:12 AM

Must be a new age gay hakujin thing.

vash · vash's Garage

i dont mind. whatever.

that "man-hug" is super awkward. no real chest to chest contact, quick pats on the shoulders with closed fist, super fast separation with a few seconds of no eye to eye contact..hahahha.

i like to eff with my friends occasionally with a real hug..hahaha.

women do it completely differently..they go at it. awesome.

Laneco · 08-02-2013, 08:19 AM

I hug everyone I know and like (and who is at least reasonably comfortable with the idea). I pet every dog that approaches me, too... Also talk to strangers. A lot.

What are you gonna do? Some of us are just wired that way!

angela

tweezers74 · 08-02-2013, 08:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Laneco

I hug everyone I know and like (and who is at least reasonably comfortable with the idea). I pet every dog that approaches me, too... Also talk to strangers. A lot.

What are you gonna do? Some of us are just wired that way!

angela

Me too, Angela! I knew I liked you!

BUT I have to say that I have high EQ. I can sense when someone isn't comfortable with it and I never hug them after recognizing that.

I talk to strangers too. I have made friends everywhere! I love it!

Buckterrier · 08-02-2013, 08:39 AM

Not a big bro hugger either but it's all good, (as long as no moose knuckle is involved)

Now the ladies are a different story. Nothing ever wrong with that.

Mark Henry · 08-02-2013, 08:50 AM

My 14 year old daughter will tell you NO and will warn you and if you insist she will kick you in the sack. Not a tap, she's 5'-10"+, takes martial arts and wants to be a cop. She doesn't tread lightly, I've seen her put a 250lb black belt in the fetal position. I wear a cup if I spar with her.

Me, I don't care, the thing I hate is guys who grab you by the fingers when you shake. I always thought that was gay (not that there's anything wrong with that), for f*** sakes stick the hand all the way in and give a firm, but not too hard, shake.

GH85Carrera · GH85Carrera's Garage

I don't mind a hug from women or my brother. I have to agree hugs from men I just met is not for me.

And a standard good grip handshake. I don't fist bump, high 5 or grab thumbs.

speeder · speeder's Garage

Quote:

Originally Posted by Laneco

I hug everyone I know and like (and who is at least reasonably comfortable with the idea). I pet every dog that approaches me, too... Also talk to strangers. A lot.

What are you gonna do? Some of us are just wired that way!

angela

Me too. I think that it's partially a regional thing, and maybe more common with some ethnic groups than others. I grew up in Minnesota, very Scandinavian/German/Polish and men definitely did not hug back then. I don't think they even hugged their women or children. I have good friends whose dads have never told them that they love them. Ever.

So I move to Los Angeles 30 years ago and start noticing that a lot of people are quite a bit more affectionate and expressive. I always thought that it was "black thing" that is gradually moving whiteward, apparently it is just reaching Texas now. Although it took some adjusting, I really like it. Of course you can tell when someone is not the hugging type, in that case, I just shake their hand, (or if it's someone I don't really know or like). Women are very affectionate here in general, I think that it's usually pretty genuine and spontaneous when people greet someone they really like or love--the hug is almost irrepressible.

I hug men like they're my long-lost brother if I like them and they are also "huggers". I've never thought it gay, but then I don't think that there is something wrong with being gay. I hug gay guys, if they're my friend and I like them. I really love my friends. I ran into Mike Tyson last weekend after not seeing him for a couple years, we were hugging like a couple of fruits and he held my hand in his for a long time like my grandma used to when I was a kid. If someone thinks that's odd, oh well...

I'd love to meet you, Angela, and get one of your hugs.

speeder · speeder's Garage

Did not mean to disrespect the OP...one should read the situation and not bear hug people who don't want to hug. In many cultures, it simply isn't done.

BlueSkyJaunte · 09:26 AM

Only time I ever managed to get a hug out of my father-in-law was on my wedding day. I've tried to corner him a few times since but he always manages to dodge out of it. He's a slippery little devil.

He has no problem hugging the grandkids I've provided, though.

I hug friends and family whenever it's appropriate. Some guy I just met? Probably not. Some gal I just met? Hell, yes.

I have a friend from college that I visited after he had decided he was gay (he was still in the closet the last time I had seen him). He greeted me in a pink fluffy bathrobe, jumped into my arms, and wrapped his legs around me. We all got a good laugh out of that one--especially my wife.

VaSteve · 08-02-2013, 09:23 AM

I checked my map....which direction is "whiteward"?

nostatic · nostatic's Garage

north

David · David's Garage

I used to not be a hugger but I got over it. If I see a good friend I haven't seen in a while, they're getting a hug

. When I met my girlfriend's mom in Thailand a few months ago, I gave her a hug. She commented that a bow would be more appropriate. Oh well, I think she'll get over it.