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No matter how much you wiggle and dance, the last two drops go in your pants.

Old 05-17-2016, 04:38 PM
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the tip of a nitrile glove forefinger is easily caught when unzipping. Very hard to get it out and zip back up.
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Old 05-17-2016, 04:45 PM
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Originally Posted by Shaun @ Tru6 View Post
the tip of a nitrile glove forefinger is easily caught when unzipping. Very hard to get it out and zip back up.
Dude, you won't even touch your own penis?
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Old 05-17-2016, 05:06 PM
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Dude, you won't even touch your own penis?
I know where it's been.
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Old 05-17-2016, 05:23 PM
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Dude, you won't even touch your own penis?
I have to find it first?
Old 05-17-2016, 09:49 PM
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Holy *****! WHY do I click on those threads???
Coffee out of my nose all over the keyboard AGAIN! ***** ***** *****!


You complain about the zipper?
Have you ever had jeans with BUTTONS? What a PITA! Standing there and trying to close that button row in front of the urinal sure looks stupid when other people enters the bathroom!
Old 05-17-2016, 10:37 PM
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Button flies are difficult to undo when your fingers are cold ,especially if you are in a hurry!
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Old 05-18-2016, 01:17 AM
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Originally Posted by petrolhead611 View Post
Button flies are difficult to undo when your fingers are cold ,especially if you are in a hurry!
Undo the belt, grab on to button that fastens the waist of the jeans and pull.
All the buttons on the 501s come undone.
Kind of like pulling the rip cord...

Never thought about the refastening issue....
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Old 05-18-2016, 03:11 AM
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And then your trousers fall down.
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Old 05-18-2016, 03:15 AM
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Our prayers have been answered......

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Old 05-18-2016, 07:47 AM
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Never being one to pass up takin a shot at a consultant (a guy who can tell you 100 ways to make love but doesn't know any women):


The Efficiency Expert


Last week, we took some friends out to a new restaurant and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket. It seemed a little strange. When another waiter brought our water, I noticed he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket. Then I looked around and saw that all the staff had spoons in their pockets.

When the waiter came back to serve our soup, I asked, "Why the spoon?"



"Well, he explained, "the restaurant's owners hired an efficiency expert to revamp all our processes. After several months of analysis, he concluded that the spoon was the most frequently dropped utensil. It represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per waiter's shift. They determined that if our personnel were better prepared, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 5 man-hours per shift."

"Amazing," I said. "I can see how that would really increase efficiency." And as luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he was able to replace it with his spare. "I'll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen, instead of making an extra trip to get it right now," he explained.

I was impressed. I also noticed that there was a string hanging out of the waiter's fly. Looking around, I noticed that all the waiters had the same string hanging from their flies. So before he walked off, I asked the waiter, "Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right there?"

"Well, management doesn't like us to talk about that," he said in a lowered voice. "Not everyone is so observant, and I see how interested you are, so I'll tell you. That expert I mentioned also found out that we can save time in the restroom. By tying this string to the tip of our peckers, we can pull it out without touching it and eliminate the need to wash our hands, shortening the time spent in the restroom by 50 percent."

"But," I asked, "After you get it out, how do you put it back?"

"Well," he whispered, "I don't know about the others, but I use the spoon."
Old 05-18-2016, 11:11 AM
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The obvious answer is Velcro.
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Old 05-18-2016, 11:25 AM
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Or staple gun.
Old 05-18-2016, 04:02 PM
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I still have the scar from back in my teens !! LOL
Old 12-14-2018, 08:02 AM
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Old 12-14-2018, 08:51 AM
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I am surprised at the responses...because it has never occurred to me not to use the fly as intended...either with the suit pants I wear to work or the Levi 501s (button fly) I wear at home.

The thing that always shocks me is how many men avoid the urinals and use the stalls to urinate (but do not lift the seat). If you ever have to do #2, all the seats are covered with urine unless recently cleaned. It seems most selfish and uncouth to me (would never dream of doing so). Are the men that pee on the seat raised by wolves or had no indoor plumbing in their youth? It seems more and more common to me. Is it a millennial or Gen X thing? I rarely saw this 20 years ago.
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Old 12-14-2018, 09:11 AM
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Yep...I use the zipper. Been doin' it that way ever since I left the nudist colony....no issues, lots of practice....WTF is wrong with y'all ?
Old 12-14-2018, 09:16 AM
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Depends.
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Old 12-14-2018, 09:45 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fintstone View Post
I am surprised at the responses...because it has never occurred to me not to use the fly as intended...either with the suit pants I wear to work or the Levi 501s (button fly) I wear at home.

The thing that always shocks me is how many men avoid the urinals and use the stalls to urinate (but do not lift the seat). If you ever have to do #2, all the seats are covered with urine unless recently cleaned. It seems most selfish and uncouth to me (would never dream of doing so). Are the men that pee on the seat raised by wolves or had no indoor plumbing in their youth? It seems more and more common to me. Is it a millennial or Gen X thing? I rarely saw this 20 years ago.
I think the same thing. Hell, I even occasionally see crap on the seat.

I've thought that we should have a bouncer in the restroom that checks the stall when you're done, and if you've made a mess, he rubs your nose on the seat and then beats you with a rolled up news paper.

Quote:
Originally Posted by sammyg2 View Post
Or staple gun.
Hahahah, years ago, I was a bartender. The door girl had a crush on me (she was adorable). She told me that she was occasionally a dominatrix, but also liked to be dominated. She said that she'd had a boyfriend "who liked to staple himself to things."

When she said that, my brain balked for a second, then it spun and I got confused and asked her what she meant exactly. Apparently, he liked to staple his junk to stuff, and he used a staple gun to do it, not a regular paper stapler. I didn't ask for any more detail than that (twig or berries) because it didn't really matter to me. Wow, WTF. I wondered how you'd decide that you liked that. Are you reupholstering your couch in the nude one day, you slip, hit your junk and think, "Ow! Wait, wow! Yeah, that's the stuff. I should do that some more."

That guy probably uses the zipper hoping that he's zip his stuff up in it.
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Old 12-14-2018, 09:47 AM
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Yep...I use the zipper. Been doin' it that way ever since I left the nudist colony....no issues, lots of practice....WTF is wrong with y'all ?
Yep. Interesting sociological study here. I wear button fly Levis 501s about 95% of the time, so catching my dork in the zipper hazard is reduced to about 5%. For that 5% of the time, (pay attention here), I make sure that little Elvis is back safely inside of my shorts before I zip the pants back up.

It's sort of the same as not sawing my fingers off w power tools or walking into spinning propellers, etc.. Just common sense. My parents taught me how to use a bathroom back when I was 3 years old and somehow I've never forget the lesson.

Strange thread.

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Old 12-14-2018, 09:48 AM
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