Starting Over - Dating when you're 60

[Evans, Marv]

Tons of good advice above. Glen has some good suggestions about meeting women. I've heard the grocery store offers possibilities. Waiting to try to connect with someone is great advice. I'd like to suggest making and having lady friends - on a friendly basis - is also a good idea for a decent time into the furure. I don't know how many women I've heard (includinig an X) say, "I like haviing a man around." They're not picky and I don't think you'd just want to be a fixture. Make friends, do, & explore, & wait for the field to winnow out, if you're set on snagging one. I never understood psople who rush into permanent relationships after a divorce. Of course at my age, the best would be to get a small travel trailer & travel around in it. I really don't think I'd want a lady in her 80's to take care of.

Oh, & edit: Sex can be fun your you, but for lots of women it means a permanent relationship.

[Bill Douglas]

Sorry to hear that Rusty. As mentioned take time for yourself and let the dust settle.

I'm nearly in that situation and I'm not going to date anyone. I know it sounds awful but I don't like women any older than 28. And I can't imagine any woman 28 or younger in their right mind wanting to go out with a 64 year old guy. Even if I did go out with someone I can't be bothered learning their likes and dislikes, the names of their friends. I don't want to fix their car and don't want to fix their house.

[craigster59]

Originally Posted by 3rd_gear_Ted

How about also figuring out why your "buddy" is leaving you.
OP really doesn't have anything to offer, damaged goods in total denial.
Good luck on that 2nd date

I think women tend to need and look for more "fulfillment" in their lives than men. We guys can find contentment pretty easily, the gals not so much. And the fact that lifespans are moving into the 80's, when you're 60 you think "I've got another 25 years, do I want to spend it like this?".

And some people's life goals change. Mid life Crisis can appear at any age. These are all factors to consider.

As far as dating and meeting a new mate, slow and steady wins the race. I've always been a big proponent of finding likeminded people who share your likes and hobbies. maybe a Hiking Club, Literary, Fishing, Cooking Classes, etc.

I hate the new age term, but let things happen "organically". You'll be better off in the long run.

This isn't the end, this is the New Beginning.

[911 Rod]

Sorry to hear this. I'm jealous when I here of happy marriages that have lasted for years.
I'll probably be in your situation in the next year and the last thing I want is another relationship.
Be happy just to order in once and a while!

[IROC]

Originally Posted by GH85Carrera

He says that a 50 to 60 something man in reasonable shape, and well groomed, and nice clothes that either has a good job, or is retired, owns his home, and a decent vehicle, will be mobbed by women. All your married friends wife's that know you will want to set you up with their friends.

^^Really? I never would have imagined this. I never expected to be divorced at this point in my life. I fully expected to live happily ever after. I won't go into the details, but this divorce isn't my idea and I can honestly say I put a lot (!) of effort into trying to make the marriage work.

But...it is what it is. I didn't choose this. My wife moves out in less than two weeks. I honestly don't know what I am going to do. We are selling the house, so I will move (into a rental) when our house is under contract. I'm staying in it until then. We have kids (1 in college, two that aren't yet) so there is that.

My plan is to focus on me (and my kids) and not worry about anything else. I have zero desire to date at this point. Maybe in 6 months or a year. My fear is what Norm wrote above - I won't even be looking for something and I will meet somebody.

We'll see. I am not interested right now. I spent the last 2+ years bending over backwards to make this work and I am emotionally worn out.

[DonDavis]

Rusty and Mike...and whoever wants to listen. Congratulations, you have my condolences.

Your digital life is going to under a microscope since you are now proceeding with a divorce.

If she has hired a lawyer, you will certainly find out how much they are looking.

It's wise to refrain from any online venting or sharing negative things that can take a huge chunk out of your butt.

If the separation is uncontested, I'd still REFRAIN FROM ONLINE COMMENTING.

I hope you never have to thank me, but an ounce of prevention..yada yada.

Mike, when I visit the Tri Cities, we should grab a pop.

[DonDavis]

Originally Posted by IROC

I have zero desire to date at this point. Maybe in 6 months or a year.

I am not interested right now. ....and I am emotionally worn out.

Schmart. Just chill, heal, contemplate, take care of your interests.

And to all potentially divorcing people....absolutely never, ever bicth about the Ex to the kids.

It will stay in their minds forever and push them to the other. Just keep the convo all business regarding the other parent. Never discuss Divorce Details, but if you must, keep it very high level. Don't blame or complain. They have complicated lives themselves.

Love the kids and keep things normal when you talk with them.

[VINMAN]

While my situation was a little different, when I lost the first Mrs Vinman to cancer, the last thing I wanted was to meet anyone else. Didn't try to date or go cougar hunting. Had zero intentions of wanting any kind of relationship. Then bang out of nowhere, the second and current Mrs Vinman appeared one day , said hello and the rest is history.

Like I said, dont seek and you may find...

.

[IROC]

Originally Posted by DonDavis

Your digital life is going to under a microscope since you are now proceeding with a divorce.

We've already signed the paperwork, so it is sort of a done deal - just waiting for it to work it's way through the system and be "official".

Mike, when I visit the Tri Cities, we should grab a pop.

Deal! I was actually up there on Sunday - visited my sister in Kingsport. We rode out and checked out the new West Ridge High School.

[masraum]

Originally Posted by Bill Douglas

Sorry to hear that Rusty. As mentioned take time for yourself and let the dust settle.

I'm nearly in that situation and I'm not going to date anyone. I know it sounds awful but I don't like women any older than 28. And I can't imagine any woman 28 or younger in their right mind wanting to go out with a 64 year old guy. Even if I did go out with someone I can't be bothered learning their likes and dislikes, the names of their friends. I don't want to fix their car and don't want to fix their house.

LOL! Very entertaining and truthful.

[DonDavis]

Originally Posted by IROC

Deal! I was actually up there on Sunday - visited my sister in Kingsport. We rode out and checked out the new West Ridge High School.

Did that last summer when I was in. My aunt, a 1980 Central Grad, presides over all housekeeping and Maintenance for the school. It glorious.

And I'm glad they went with Wolves and not any existing mascot.

Don't forget, when Central opened, the Blountville Tigers kept theirs and the Cougars was created.

My sister and many other Central peeps have their panties in a bunch over the mascot naming.

[matthewb0051]

Another thing to consider before doing it again:

50% of first marriages end in divorce, 60% or greater of seconds and 73% of third or more end in divorce.

Back to my original point; take your time...

Sorry to hear this for Rusty and IROC. I'm at 33 years this summer and honestly don't know what I would do if this happened. Probably sell all my stuff and move to Europe after some court gives part of my Army retirement to my wife even though I was the one getting up for PT at 0500 every day, deploying and getting shot at...

[MBAtarga]

There is a rather extensive thread over on the boating forum The Hull Truth about on-line profiles/dating. It's got almost 15000 posts. It is rather entertaining!

https://www.thehulltruth.com/dockside-chat/454778-adventures-online-dating-734.html

[cockerpunk]

lots of good advice here. the only that i will offer is that forming life long or longer term relationships with people requires you like them. going down any kind of men's rights, Andrew tate, jordon peterson etc pipeline will push you to blame women or like the world changing, or feminism or whatever for any lack of success (and there will be lack of success) in dating. dating means failing at dating, thats just the reality of it. and that will compound if you blame women for it, and pretty soon you'll be hating them. and you circle the drain of ever more depressive episodes, and ever more depressing blaming women, or the world or whatever for any failures you have ... you are going to have a bad time.

ive seen it happen a dozen times.

keep your head up. maintain a good relationship with your ex if you have children with her. dating will mean rejection, dont let that get you down.

always remember the twist that the jordon petersons and andrew tates of the world are selling: just because are are attractive, or that you believe you are attractive, that doesnt mean that any one is obligated to like you, be attracted to you, or date you. there is so much good life advice that ends up being corrupted because the last, unspoken sentence is "and if you do all this, you deserve a woman" the jordon petersons of the world are fantastic at this twist. and its incorrect.

no one deserves anyone else. if they arnt into you, take it in stride, and move the **** on to someone who might actually be into you.

[stevej37]

[QUOTE=Rusty Heap;11940998]
After decades of non-dating.........what the heck is proper technique and etiquette of handling first dates? Coffee/drinks/picnic/ take a drive in my Pcars?


I would hold off on the Pcars bit.
Some will not take that the way you expect.
Good Luck!

[PorscheGAL]

I am sorry to hear this from everyone. I have no advice.

As an eternal optimist, I believe you will create the life you deserve.

I just want to wish you luck with whatever direction you take.

[Skytrooper]

Guys, I am sorry to hear about the impending divorces. I have no advice. I have no experience in this matter. My parents divorced when I was young. They both pushed their agendas on us kids. It was a bitter divorce and custody hearings. I made it my personal vow to not get divorced. Obviously that is a fools errand as the other half has to "buy into" that ideology also. So far, so good.
If things did go south....my dog is all I need fir companionship. Being in my 60's, I just do not have the will to go through all the work.

I hope everything goes well for you and I wish you luck.

[pwd72s]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tjq_ljlb_oI&ab_channel=CourtneyRyan

[herr_oberst]

I have a lot that I could say, advice I could offer, so I'll make it a point to keep my trap shut tight. Just offer my best wishes.

Anecdotally, I've two maybe three really good friends who happen to be women. We all know what we look like naked, but life moves on and now we hang out platonically, at least once a week, enjoying each other's company and then we go home alone.

Someday, I might meet someone, or I might not, I'm 64. I know how to feed myself and I don't wear dirty laundry. I'll be OK.

[stevej37]

^^^ I didn't watch the whole video....but it reminded me of this.....