June?

[porsche4life]

106 and sunny here....

[Cajundaddy]

One of my long time friends lived in northern Maine for the last 30 years. He decided he has seen his last -40F winter blizzard. Moved to Tonga and picked out a nice ocean view.

[ckissick]

Originally Posted by Tobra

Palo Alto is pretty tough to beat.

Then again...

You could pick up this little fixer-upper. 905 SF. See price below.



1.8 million dollars. (The real estate agent says it with his pinky touching the end of his lips.)

[porsche4life]

I could get you one hell of a mansion here for 1.8 mill....

[aigel]

I remember when you really hated it in Long Beach ... You should examine your happiness level. I doubt it really depends on the location ...

Good luck!

From a cool sunny California,

G

[sc_rufctr]

It's the 3rd of June already... It will be Christmas before we know it

[Porsche-O-Phile]

Finally clearing up and supposed to gradually get a bit warmer this week but unfortunately not like last week. Last week was pretty awesome - sunshine and in the 80s every day.

Thanks to all who have expressed concern - I've had a lot of the same thought process over the last few months (i.e. "what do I want out of life?", "what will make me happy?", etc.). Good questions - the kind that often leads to more questions than answers.

I'm a bit of a private person and I don't like sharing a lot of personal details to other people - particularly online - but I'll give it a shot here and see what you guys think. I respect the opinions and input of the folks here more than most. Generally I think PPOT is home to a lot of really bright, right-side-of-the-bell-curve sort of people with generally good outlooks and what-not, so I'll share a few thoughts and see what y'all have to say:

Truthfully I've got it pretty good here. I've got a very good job and I've no doubt I could stay here until a comfortable retirement. I own my own place, I've got some family resources nearby and do reasonably well for myself, particularly in wake of what happened in CA a few years back (more on that in a moment). My biggest problems here are that I get SADS (Seasonal Affective Disorder) really, really, REALLY badly. I've always viewed it as sort of an "it's all in your head" sort of thing, one of those BS "fake" diseases, etc. but I have to say it's quite real - cold weather turns me into a REAL a-hole (more than usual). I've done a few different therapies which kinda' help but don't entirely. I've been told that the best thing for me would be to get out of here and I totally agree. I grew up (if one dares label me as "grown up" ) out here and all through my childhood I hated it. I was sick every winter from about November to about May, I went through wild mood swings from summer (Doctor Jeckyll) to winter (Mister Hyde). First chance I got (turned 18, college) I got the hell out of here, moved to Florida and did my school there. There were plusses and minuses but generally I liked it a lot better than here, Flori-DUH-isms aside. Despite that, I ended up moving back here for an internship post-college (jobs in FL sucked and the pay was dismal - about half of the northeast typically, plus I had a girl here I was after, etc.) I worked there about two years, had a bead on a permanent management position (CAD/GIS Manager for a major government agency when it was still a young technology and I was the proven young hotshot "wunderkind" - they sort of made the position for me but I didn't go after it, having already decided to go off to graduate school).

I also just didn't (and still don't) like the culture here at all - it's very provincial. People are rude and snooty. I have no desire to become a "townie" here to fit in like 90% of the folks here are. I have absolutely ZERO desire to spend the rest of my life here. None. I'd consider it a wasted life. IMO nobody really "lives" here anyway, they just kind of exist, go through the motions waiting for death to eventually take them. I don't want to live like that. I ain't done. Also as much as I like my job I've got a bit of a hangup about it - I got the interview for it because of a family connection and while I've been told repeatedly that it wasn't a factor (I got asked on my interview, "are you related to so-and-so", so I wonder if they knew ahead of time or not) and I've been promoted twice since getting there, I still wonder if it's because they really wanted me or because cultural decorum around here demands that one do favors for friends when asked. I sorta' want to know for sure that I'm making it 100% on my own merit. I might be, but I wonder sometimes...

Anyway, back to the story - I did my grad. school (architecture) in Chicago. Not much to say about it. I got a good education and it was worth it but when I graduated in 1999 I had no interest in staying there. Moved west, did a three-month extended camping trip / walkabout with interviews in different cities and landed in L.A. - had some great times, met some great people, etc. Fell in love with CA and the culture, weather, etc. The job sucked as it turned out (pigeonholed as a CAD guru again). I left after a year and did indy work while I went back to pursue my once-dream of flying commercially. I flight instructed out of SMO for a year and a half then got hired flying cargo, did that for two years, really liked it. I was also building a few clients doing some consulting / "CAD monkey" work on the side. This was post-9/11 so career progression in the aviation industry wasn't too great (still isn't). I loved the work but I wasn't making any money, wasn't getting ahead, wasn't feeling fulfilled, etc. So I went back to doing architectural work full-time to make better money and to use the (expensive) education I'd bought more directly. That wasn't too bad. I missed (and still do!) the flying, but I don't miss wondering how I was going to pay rent every month, much less how I was ever going to afford my own place, etc. But at least I can say I got to do it for a while! It was a blast while I did - no regrets.

(Yes, I'm going somewhere with this...)

Did pretty well through the 2000s and things were looking pretty bright but in 2008 the economy imploded. In 2009 I got laid off. That was the singly worst experience I've ever gone through. Every gain I'd made from the early 2000s to then was wiped out in a few short months. There were NO - I mean NO prospects anywhere in CA at that time. I met with lots of people, tapped all the contacts I had (the ones that were still employed themselves) and there was NOTHIN'. I don't know how well any of you remember how rotten and scary 2009 was, but it was very, very bad. I'm still digging out from that hole. I had a lead from a family member back here on the east coast so I flew out here in March of '09 and met with a few people, did a couple of interviews and heard nothing until August. Finally got a formal offer from one of the places I'd talked with that spring and made the decision to move (begrudgingly - I didn't really want to come back here truthfully, even though I'd really soured on CA by that point) simply to survive. I've been here since.

Now the economy is doing a bit better. I actually see postings for people in my field, I've done a few interviews, etc. Part of me would like to go back to CA (San Diego, possibly NorCal / SF Bay) but I'm concerned about history repeating. LA sucked. Never again. All the effed-up things in CA that I was happy to leave are unfortunately still there, probably worse - too many people, too high taxes, too unaffordable housing, too screwed-up liberal government, too many restrictions, anti-business climate, yada-yada. I could probably live with those to a point (did once!) but it would have to be in the right area (like I said, SF, SD, maybe NorCal). I've also considered FL and TX but I don't think I'd get the kind of salary I want - many of my bills / expenses do not "index" for where I live (housing and utilities / groceries do, ditto private school for kids if desired, things like that - but I am still paying off a schitepile of debt run up during 2009 just to survive and that stuff can be paid with "cheap" dollars from a place like Boston, NYC or LA or "expensive" dollars from a lower-salary place like TX or FL. Conundrum #1.

(continued)

[Porsche-O-Phile]

(continued from above post since evidently I can't shut up...)

Conundrum #2 is what I want out of life. I'd like to eventually go into practice for myself. I feel like I was making good progress towards that goal in 2008-9 and that dream got blasted during the recession and in no small part due to California's anti-entrepreneur culture, tax structure, etc. I've got a bit of a chip on my shoulder about it. I want to pick up where I left off and make it happen, but again - I don't want to go back to LA, probably not ever. I also want to feel like I'm living somewhere I enjoy. Here, I don't. Half the year it just plain sucks. You trudge to work and trudge home, go to bed and try to not freeze to death. I bloody well hate that part, even if the during-the-day / job part is fine. Why pay full fare to live half a life? You only live once, right?

I've also seriously been looking at Honolulu / Hawaii. There are actually a lot of opportunities there but it's damn nearly impossible for a mainlander to get hired unless you get on with a big multi-state / multinational sort of outfit and / or transfer there. I've considered doing that too. My current employer (big development / CM firm) is local to the northeast so I'd have to leave. I could leave and go "cold turkey" hoping to find something when I'm there, but that could (likely "would") put me back in a hole of the sort I've been trying to dig out from after being out of work for a year back in 2009. Yes, it'd be a better life, but it still sucks when you have a mountain of bills and can't ever NOT be stressing about money. Kind of ruins the lovely days and the kickass beach culture.

The final complication (for now) is that my parents are in their so-called "golden years" (dad just had a heart attack and stroke last year and mom is struggling with declining health, chronic illnesses, etc.). I don't want to feel like I'm "ditching" them. I am able to get down and see them maybe once every week or two and help out, which I know they appreciate. As much as I hate it here I'd feel a certain amount of guilt in leaving them to go do my own thing - even though that's what kids are supposed to do, no? I've told myself to go and then convince them to come (it'd probably do them good and add a few years back on their clocks versus staying here) but would that really happen? Unknown.

So there it is. I really am kinda' done with the northeast. I just don't want to spend the rest of my life dealing with crappy days, having to fix all the stuff that gets broken / ruined every winter, getting ripped off by scumbag energy companies who gouge everyone for heat, all that. If I could take this job and pop it in somewhere with the climate of a TX, HI, CA, AZ or FL I think I'd be thrilled - I could continue to do the great work I do, feel satisfied, kick butt in my career, keep chipping away making financial progress and actually still have a life outside of work. That's I think what I'm looking for most. Here (I observed this in Chicago too back when I lived there) it seemed like people really define themselves by their jobs since the weather is so terrible there isn't much else to do - you just go to work, go home, try to not cuss the cold and endless dreariness too much, rinse, lather repeat... I like my work and I like my career, but I also like the stuff I (used to) do outside of work. I'm a multi-dimensional kind of person and I think that makes me not really fit in here. You're expected to just be a good little lemming, accept mediocrity, eat your gruel and stop all that silly dreaming about better lives and thoughts of making something of yourself beyond the "forbidden zone". It's like being in quicksand a little.

Okay, flame away. I might add more details depending on the comments / suggestions that come back but I think I've shared enough pertinent info. for now.

[motion]

Jeff, I'm no psych expert, but from my POV, you are a depressed and angry person. You should drop all those negative adjectives and start looking at the world through different eyes. The ones you're using now aren't working for you. I'd wager that you've used the word "stupid" in your posts over the years more than the rest of PPOT combined.

That said, you usually post very thorough and intelligent responses and I enjoy your posts more now than in years past. I had you on ignore at one point, about 5 years ago. I really just could not stand to read your negativity.

You seem to be a "glass half empty" kind of guy. Switching over to the other side can make all the difference in the world!

[Porsche-O-Phile]

Thanks for the feedback. In my own defense, I don't suffer fools lightly and I do tend to have a pretty low threshold for stupidity (and there never seems to be a shortage of that out there!) I think you've been exceptionally lucky in life and while that's great and I find it a little bit fascinating to hear how someone who's hit the "life lottery" lives and thinks, I wonder if it might taint your perspective a little. I'm not sure if I'd consider myself a pessimist - more like a realist. Life isn't so easy or simple for most people (including me). It's tricky, there are a lot of potential pitfalls and a lot of ways to get screwed / burned. I'm not risk-averse but I want to make sure that if I'm going to make a bold decision it's a somewhat sensible one - there's a line between "bold action" and "reckless action" if you catch my drift... If I'm going to walk away from the positive things here (job, security, etc.) I need to know it's for a reasonable shot at something that will be better overall - big picture improvement. Certain things can be compromised upon but overall the idea is to keep moving forward, working towards more happiness, more enjoyment out of the time on this rock, more living. There's more to life than just a fat paycheck and the illusion of security...

I'm in my mid-40s now so I've still got a lot of life left (at least I like to hope so!) I think there's still a lot I want to do in me and I just don't see myself being truly happy here because the culture (driven largely due to the weather I think, circling back to the O.P.) demands that one simply accept one's lot in life and settle. I think that's kind of a Shakespearean-level tragedy. It really makes me sad to see people succumb to that and not push themselves and try to make the most of every moment they have - constantly evaluating and re-evaluting their situations and trying to make them better, whatever it takes. That's one thing I liked about CA - it had a good, youthful energy and a buzz about it. People there innovate (or used to). Here, not so much. In the universities perhaps, but not the day-to-day folks.

I'm really, really glad for the opportunity I got here - the situation I had to leave in CA was truly terrible and sucked more than words can describe. I don't think you can understand what it's like to have no income for months on end and watch all your savings and future plans going right down the drain, powerless to stop it. I hope you never have to experience that. I just think I'm (finally) at a point now where I've got some choices and I'm not so sure that the situation that I had to default to in order to survive is really the one I want to define the rest of my life. I think I want better and if I do it right, I can get there. I figure you of all people can appreciate a little ambition to improve one's quality of life, no? I think that's kind of what it's all about.

Anyway - thanks for the input. I'm going to ponder this some more and see what others here have to say also.

[ckelly78z]

There are many factors that come into play of how "happy" we are at given times in our lives. After 50 years on this planet, I have come to the realization that happiness is a choice you have to make for yourself. I am generally a pretty sarcastic person that sees what actually is occuring rather than what people want to project, and sometimes I let it get the better of me and ruin my mood. I try very hard to be positive, and surround myself with friends who like to laugh, rather than ***** about thier shortcomings or how they have been wronged by others.

Of all the people I know, I have probably had a rougher health history than anyone I have ever talked to, but still, somehow am the first one cracking jokes and smiling to break the tension. It's been very tough over the years to remain hopeful and positive while battling through Cancer 3 different times, and related heart failure twice. Three years ago I was nearly killed by a distarcted driver who ran a stop sign into my 944, and I still have the metal plate with pins and screws holding my pelvis together, but I walk with no limp.

Maybe all this health crap has made me appreciate the small things, and to smile on a sunny Spring day, after a L O N G hard, cold Winter. It really helps to have my wonderful wife of 27 years that has gone through all of this with me holding my hand along the way, and two kids who still like coming home to visit.

One suggestion.....get yourself a puppy, and learn to smile and laugh again.

[74-911]

Originally Posted by Porsche-O-Phile

....... I've also considered FL and TX but I don't think I'd get the kind of salary I want ....

P-O-P: After reading your rants about CA and now the North East, I seriously doubt you would be happy here in the great state of TX no matter what the salary. Don't know if you have ever been here or not but pick any city and come on down in July or August.... oh, and get used to droughts, floods, tornadoes, giant hail storms, hurricanes, etc.

A columnist from Boston vacationed here years ago and described it as "rattlesnake ridden, pickup truck infested and hotter than hell"..

A columnist in the San Antonio paper responded: "and your point is?"

[BeyGon]

My wife and I traveled a lot the last two years looking for a spot to move. We went to Greenville SC, I liked the place, you might too, some big companies there, a beautiful city and not much snow. Some bugs and humidity, lots of rain. I lived in Costa Rica for years and thought I could handle it ok. My wife, NO.
We went to Prescott Az. twice, I liked it, getting better for jobs, not much snow, 92 ish for the high in the summers. I loved it, my wife, NOT.
We went to Grants Pass Or. twice, I have friends there, not much snow, gets a little warm in the summer, plenty of water, I loved it, once again, my wife, NOT.
We spent quite a bit of time in Ojai Ca. I thought if I had to stay in Ca that was a good spot. It's just expensive. we didn't move there but will visit still.
She won't go back to Costa Rica, I tried Uruguay, Portugal, Spain, we aren't going.
She had a job in SLO, went for training, I started packing, two weeks later she came home, said she didn't really like the job. In my mind I had already moved.
I finally realized we aren't getting out of SoCal and started looking in Fallbrook, Vista and Oceanside. Plenty of jobs in San Diego area. Oceanside is a good spot, give it a shot. We closed escrow last week.
You can check out but you can never leave.

[Porsche-O-Phile]

Funny, we spent a few months looking at places in Oceanside - looked at at least two or three dozen and put offers in on a couple. Always liked it there - can get the train to SD but again - any jobs? SD is a quirky job market but pretty nice and about a hundred times more "family friendly" than LA...

It's still CA, just somewhat less effed up than the rest of CA - must be the military / conservative influence that staves off some of the lunacy coming from north of there (LA, Sacramento, etc.)

Yea, I might consider that one even though it's CA. Ditto SLO. Depends on work prospects though. I still have my CA license (after the hell I went through to get it, I'm never giving it up!)

I'd need some convincing to seriously consider CA again. I think I could do SD though (and live in an Oceanside or Carlsbad or someplace like that). Maybe...

[BeyGon]

SLO has major water problems so things are expensive.
Carlsbad has a DeSal plant that is supposed to come on line this year so they should always have water, we looked there but it has been and is getting more expensive. I can see us eating and hanging there a bit tho.
Other spots we looked in Ca were great but not so much work/money. Arroyo Grande/Pismo. Oceanside has been overlooked for years but not so much these days. Good climate, some of the realtors cautioned me that there were a lot of Marines there, I said I don't see that as a problem.

[Porsche-O-Phile]

And there's this.

- - - - -

Australia - Want a better life? Move here - CNNMoney

- - - - -

Australia is the happiest place to live.

The country has retained top spot in the Organisation for Economic Cooperation and Development's annual Better Life Index. The OECD ranks the world's developed economies according to 11 different criteria it views as essential to a happy life.

Related: Australia hasn't suffered a recession in 24 years

Australians enjoy low pollution and high levels of personal security. They rank top in civic engagement, and above average in health, housing, social connections, and income.

The downside? Australians find it difficult to strike a balance between work and life. They work some of the longest hours in the developed world, and devote the least time to leisure and personal care, the OECD said.

NEXT: Sweden

(it goes on and on... Pretty interesting read though)

[BeyGon]

Been there twice, my friend married an Oz girl so he gets to work and gets insurance. It might be hard for you. Minimum wage is something like $20 Oz an hour so EVERYTHING you eat or touch is expensive. Plus, you will have to put up with all that anti Yank humor wherever you go when you live there. Another friend went to work there but he went with a computer company so he got paid well and had insurance. It worked out well for him.

[rammstein]

I grew up in the Northeast. The constant grey skies for 9 months (upstate NY) really DO get to you. Also lived in Cincinnati, Pittsburgh, and Boston. Finally came to Miami.

Miami has been my favorite place by far. Being a glass half-empty guy myself, every little thing I can do to help myself is good. Walking out the door to go to work in January with sunny skies and 70 degrees makes it just a bit tougher to be sullen and angry. It certainly has downsides, like all places. It won't single-handedly make you happy, but it doesn't hurt to get up most mornings to a sunny sky and being able to hop in your pool in January. Summer is a bit intense, but again, that's what the pool is for. There is a banana-republic feel to things here, and getting good help is akin to solving an enigma wrapped in a riddle, but damned if it isn't warm out. Cuban coffee is delicious. No state income tax. South Beach is topless. But no back roads- none. Unless you are going to the tracks (which you can do year round) there is no point in owning anything other than an appliance car.

As for jobs here, I have no idea what you do, but chances are slim it would work here. I work in the field of commercial real estate which is booming here and my job is secure. But outside of real estate and banking (TONS of banking here due to South American influx money), I don't know what there is to do.

[look 171]

Jeff,

You know where the money is, but don't like the political climate or the living expense or conditions. You must accept that's a fact and work around it. I can't really say any of us live in a place where there's no complains. I spend 95% of my life here in LA and I can btich and moan about many things I dislike but I don't let it get to me. Somehow, we make it all work. It seem that you are fighting something you have no control over. You want your own practice, but it is going to happen and in what state? You must be realistic here, building that client base will take some time and do you have the time to grind it out and how much longer do you want to work (I have no idea how old you are)? when you work for yourself, the minute you start, that's when you work yourself out of a job. I am not sure what kind of architecture do you want to do or if that's what you want?

San Francisco is beautiful, but if you think LA is $$$, add another 20-30$ to SF, but work is out there and the pay is on both coast in the big cities? How much longer can you do this before you hit that age when employers will say, how much time can I get out of this guy? I agree with you, one week in Seattle kick my teeth in because it rained all freaking day. Still, I take that over the snow country. I spent some time in Calgary. We have family up there as well as Moosejaw, SK. I can't deal with that and wouldn't.

[nostatic]

Re-read your posts. It is mostly "can't" "don't" etc. The focus is on the things that are wrong, not the possibilities or what is right. No matter where you go, there you are. I know pilots that live in CA. I know architects who live in CA. It can be done. It isn't perfect - that is an illusion.

imho your issues have nothing to do with where you are or the opportunities but rather your POV. And it turns out you can change that...just takes a lot of hard and often unpleasant work.