Funny sayings

[Superman]

All generalizations are false.

[msk1986911]

Colder than a mother -in-law's kiss.

[Zeke]

You can bull**** a bull****ter but you can't snow the snowman.

[red-beard]

The ex-Mrs Beard had a couple of good ones:

#1 - Scrape goat
#2 - Best mixed metaphor - I don't give two ****s to the wind. (I expect the word to be censored, it is the "crap" word which starts with "s")

[Amail]

In your best Russian accent;
Strong like bull
Smart like tractor

[Steve Carlton]

Originally Posted by cmccuist

Yogi had some amazing ones

Nobody goes there anymore. It’s too crowded.
90% of this game is half mental.
Always go to other people’s funerals, otherwise they won’t come to yours.
The future ain’t what it used to be.
It gets late early out here.
Pair up in threes.
Even Napoleon had his Watergate.
It was impossible to get a conversation going, everybody was talking too much.
We were overwhelming underdogs.

I don't see his masterpiece here- "Deja vu all over again."

[yellowperil]

Originally Posted by red-beard

The ex-Mrs Beard had a couple of good ones:

#1 - Scrape goat
#2 - Best mixed metaphor - I don't give two ****s to the wind. (I expect the word to be censored, it is the "crap" word which starts with "s")

Those R funny!

[yellowperil]

You can pick your friends, and you can pick you nose, but you can't pick your friend's nose.

[Steve Carlton]

Fighting words- "I'm gonna wipe your ass!"

[GH85Carrera]

One of my wife’s coworkers came in one morning and heard the others discussing the thunderstorm from the night before. She proclaimed “we had a lot of thunder, but no lightning thank goodness”.

Everyone just walked away. No comment was appropriate.

[Steve Carlton]

What a maroon.

- Bugs Bunny

[unclebilly]

Its so foggy you cant find your arse with both hands.

[ckelly78z]

My favorite camping saying (in a native Indian accent).

"White man build big fire....stand back, Indian build small fire....sit close" !

[Steve Carlton]

No balls- no babies.

[oldE]

Butter wouldn't melt and Shirt don't happen. (meaning innocent, maybe)

Stunned as my arse. Pretty much the same as Dumb as a bag of hammers.

Best
Les

[Steve Carlton]

Denial's not just a river in Egypt.

[masraum]

I used to work in a company that provided support for the oil industry in the Gulf of Mexico and Louisiana among other places. We had a couple of offices in Louisiana so I worked with a bunch of folks from Louisiana. I can't remember any of them, but those guys were always coming up with funny stuff like the stuff in this thread.

[Hawkeye's-911T]

An editorial comment about a local politician on local TV news a few months back: "That guy is as sharp as a marble"

Cheers
JB

[dafischer]

One of the guys working on our slate roof..."That **** is slicker than snot on a glass doorknob."