Funny sayings

[GH85Carrera]

Originally Posted by red-beard

An expert is someone who doesn't make the same mistake three times.

That reminds me.

An expert is someone that travels from out of town and carries a brief case or tool box and is paid a lot more than the regular employees. Or more accurately, a former drip under pressure and spurts out thus an ex-spurt.

[Steve Carlton]

Originally Posted by sammyg2

"this is like trying to stick a wet noodle up a wild-cat's ass".

When my dad would talk about a gutless car (like a 240D) he'd say "Wouldn't pull a string out of a wild-cat's ass."

[Steve Carlton]

Originally Posted by GH85Carrera

"Big hat, no cattle"

Always liked that one!

[JackDidley]

Originally Posted by Steve Carlton

When my dad would talk about a gutless car (like a 240D) he'd say "Wouldn't pull a string out of a wild-cat's ass."

My buddy had a similar saying. "Couldnt pull a sick whore out of bed".

[Crowbob]

Sex is nobody's business but the three people doin' it.

[Steve Carlton]

"If you wait till the last minute, then it only takes a minute."

My creation- waiting for it to catch on and make me rich.

[cmccuist]

Yogi had some amazing ones

Nobody goes there anymore. It’s too crowded.
90% of this game is half mental.
Always go to other people’s funerals, otherwise they won’t come to yours.
The future ain’t what it used to be.
It gets late early out here.
Pair up in threes.
Even Napoleon had his Watergate.
It was impossible to get a conversation going, everybody was talking too much.
We were overwhelming underdogs.

[wdfifteen]

“If I had his money and he had a feather in his ass we’d both be tickled”

[tevake]

From a couple of British friends, when something is easily done, "Bob's your uncle"
Never quite understood it. Anyone?

Cheers Richard

[herr_oberst]

Originally Posted by Steve Carlton

"If you wait till the last minute, then it only takes a minute."

The corollary to this one is:
"There's never time to do it right, but there's always time to do it over"

[sf911]

How about these one's ,

Slipperier than snot on a bedpost !
Couldn't drive **** threw screen door with a fly swatter !
A nod is as good as a wink to a blind bat !

[DanielDudley]

Originally Posted by tevake

From a couple of British friends, when something is easily done, "Bob's your uncle"
Never quite understood it. Anyone?

Cheers Richard

Years and years ago, it used to be, ''Quick as you can say Bob's your uncle.'' In other words, a snap.

[Hawkeye's-911T]

Probably not PC: Funnier than a one-legged man in an a$$ kicking contest.

Cheers
JB

[1990C4S]

As useless as the 'g' in lasagna.

Slyer than a ****-house rat.

As thick as two planks.

[Lyle O]

"You shut your mouth when you're talking to me!" (from Wedding Crashers)
"Never complain, never explain" (Henry Ford II)

[Bill Douglas]

Here's one I made up myself, but you are welcome to use it (rounds of applause - thank you, you're most welcome).



"Don't tell anyone! and whoever you tell, tell them not to tell anyone also."





.

[yellowperil]

"Horny as a three peckered Billy goat" if it's more you can go all the way to a ten peckered Billy goat, but that's it, ten is the limit.

Slow car "Slow as a bag of hammers"

[herr_oberst]

"Doesn't have the sense god gave a crowbar."

[Jeff Higgins]

One of my dad's favorites when one of us kids was making and excuse for not getting something done: "and if the dog hadn't stopped to schit he woulda caught the rabbit".

"As nervous as a whore in church."
"Hung like a bull mosquito."
"Slower than molasses in January."
"Blithering genius."

[Alan A]

Originally Posted by 1990C4S

As useless as the 'g' in lasagna.

Slyer than a ****-house rat.

As thick as two planks.

It’s two short planks.