Pity poor me....

[Doug E]

Even though I am speechless after reading this thread it does serve as a great reminder why I appreciate my wife and 911 so much.

Best of luck going forward Motion.

[Jack Olsen]

I'd move this all to off-topic, but jeez... it's just too good. What a drama.

Gutsy of you to revive the thread, Richard, knowing that it's easy for guys to offer a lot of ballsy advice from the safe shadows of their keyboards (with their wives in the other room). But the writing on this one did seem to be on the wall right from when the ring thing started. And even now, the way you describe wanting to pay whatever it takes to end the conflict strikes me as a little, well, weird, frankly. It seems like a continuation of the same basic drama that took place a lot in this relationship, and maybe in other parts of your life as well.

Here's my 911-related advice on it: you're never going to finish that widebody 3.6 project if you don't learn to sort your needs and wants from those of the people you're involved with. Some time with a therapist might be more sensible, economically speaking, than those $300-and-change attorneys. Whatever the details and intricacies of the relationship, this woman got a lot of your time and money from you. You need to figure out how to keep that whole drama from repeating itself, or 82SC is going to have a turbo-look monster on the road before you do.

[Kevin Stewart]

i think you are a little nuts to give a girl a 25 thousand dollar ring, my wife has a 1 carat she loves it, so you buy her this ring she dumps you and pawns it for 5k, what next? Ask yourself these questions
if she doesnt freely have sex with you now whenever you want it SHE WILL NOT GIVE IT TO YOU AT ALL WHEN YOUR MARRIED ask anyone thats married, they are not lying
there is no time ever thats she treats you like crap and you never have f the b sendrum
heres the big one, can you see yourself saying yes dear, yes dear in the future?
last one if she will not except a 1 carat put the money in the car chicks love Porsche's go find the babe of your dreams

[stuartj]

BTDT, Motion- its an expensive and harsh lesson. Its quite an accomplishment to have a *successful* divorce, especially where small folks are involved, and ofcourse, mainly with their interests at risk. My unsolicited advice- dwelling on the 62k and those seminal "what if" moments that no doubt arose over the last few years can send you nuts. You sound like you have the right attitude- good luck moving on. Stuart

[Early_S_Man]

My condolences, Richard!

I find no joy in being more or less correct about the female in question. Much like a margarita made with ground glass ... some women, though enticing and seemingly refreshing ... are hard to swallow, and very painful afterwards!

[RoninLB]

There is this guy out there that is like many other guys. He is not stupid. He is a responsible person. He is in control enough to get what he wants. He has the skill to attain his desires. ...................
When he wants entertanment, he knows where to go..But through it all he proves the point...That, unless it's the man's choice to be managed by a female again, it's only a man who is a bachelor at heart who knows how to manage a wife.

[dickster]

well, you set the stall throwing all that money her way............car, business, etc. not a good basis for a relationship is it??

[Aurel]

Hi Motion,

Just like P-cars, women can have a very nice body, and a crapy engine that will suck up all your money and never work properly...this can be due to bad care form the previous owner, or poor design from the factory engineers...So, I assume that if you consider spending that money on your woman, you are a good mechanic, and have made sure that her engine will not let you down. That you will have really good rides with her, that she gets hot and screams to high rpms anytime you put the key in... To cost that amount of money, everything has to be perfect...would you spent 25K on a turbo look 911SC with 250K on the engine, a leaky tranny, trashed interior and grinding gearbox ? No insult to your fiancee of course, she may be a sweetheart, I don`t know her. But this is the point : her engine is her heart, so if you think she has a good heart, go for it. If you don`t, save your money and get rid of her NOW, or it will cost you much much more later on.
And also to put things in perspective, I drive a 78SC, have no girl friend, and if I had your kind of problems, that would mean I have no problems. Always put things in perspective, and remember that a materiel quest will never end and never let you satisfied : there will always be a neighbor whose wife has a 3 carats ring at her finger, or who owns a 2002 911GT2. The real wealth is how you feel inside, not how you look outside. And same thing goes for her.
Good luck !

Aurel

[Jdub]

Christ on a rubber crutch! I have been swimming in this lake for some time and THIS thead was under me like a big old shark!

Motion: sorry for any emotional tides you must have survived...I can relate a story about a Russian girl with a real desire for the good life, whatever the heck that is! But who really cares now anyway? Not me, and certainly not her God bless her pointed little head!

Now, a wife beyond my expectations! Like Jack this thread reminds me of how lucky I am. I never go to bed without looking at her and remembering how fortunate I am, and how I'd give it all up just to keep her - knowing I never will have to.

Good on ya to bring this up. What a story!

John

PS: Was it the wig?

[Herman]

Are you kidding? I was once engaged to be married. At the time I spent about 2500.00 to buy her an engagement ring. One thing led to another and we didn't get married (Read she cheated). She did return the ring to me. 2500.00 dollars seemed like a lot to spend on a ring. Again, you were kidding about 25,000 dollars. A ring like that is nothing more than a trophy to show off to her mother and girlfriends. It makes you better than their boyfriends or husbands and sets the stage for future finnacial competition. You also said that you bought her a business. When will the insanity stop? Really now, the fire of a good relationship shouldn't be fueled with 20 dollar bills (or in your case 100's). Give careful consideration this purchase. Money can't buy you love. I'd pick my 87' Porsche 911 Coupe or my 6-year old Rottie (Loyal, obedient, loving, caring and friendly) over some money hungry ***** any day. Not to mention, the latter two will never break your heart.

[L Sjoberg]

Wow, am I ever glad I got married "early" (I was 26, she was 24), when I was a starving musician working days as a short order cook. Needless to say, 2 months salary didn't go very far : ) Now that we're both "respectable" we can throw the $ at more important things (like kids, houses and cars).

Good luck Rich with whatever you decide to do next.

[Jim T]

Whoa, dude, that sucks. Even though it was totally predictable, still sucks when the time comes and it happens.

$325 sounds kind of high for a divorce lawyer for the kind of assets you have, but I think you are doing the right thing by not quibbling and just getting it over with.

The good thing is that you didn't knock her up, so there is no innocent third victim involved. In fact, there really isn't any victim, you had plenty of warning that you chose to ignore and, given the short amount of time that has passed, it sounds like she pretty much had it planned this way from the beginning.

$62K, esp. when $40K of that is from the house appreciation, is a steal. One of the earliest posts in this thread gave advice that you didn't take then, but can still take now: RUN, FORREST, RUN!

[pbs911]

But the question everyone is wondering about is:

WHO GOT TO KEEP THE RING?

[DavidPorter]

Man oh man.

No offense, but any woman who asked me for a $30,000 ring would see the door in a hurry, regardless of competing car projects. Sounds like a case of galloping insecurity that will come back to bite you.

I've been married 23 years, and my wife is still wearing the measley half-carat ring that belonged to my mother. She was absolutely thrilled to get it, and I think she's still thrilled with me.

David Porter
Glyndon MD

[widebody911]

To me, expecting specific high-dollar 'tokens of love' is synonymous with prostitution.

Period.

You've just created a social contract (binding, mind you) where her 'love' is being traded for whatever bauble strikes her fancy at any given moment.

If she expects 2 or 3 carats aka $25k-$35k investment, that's a bad sign. What will you have to spend to 'prove your love' next year?

Ever see one of those Discovery Channel segments where a hurricane embeds a straw in a tree or somesuch? That would be her a$$ (for once the punctuation is fitting) in the door.

Seriously.

Spend the money to finish the conversion, and if you really need the ******* that bad, drive it up to the Mustang Ranch every other weekend.

No, I'm not married. DeBeers et al can take their "2 months salary" rule and shove it.

Reminds me of the joke where a guy is talking to a girl in a bar.,
He asks her: "Would you sleep with me for a million dollars?"
"Hell yes!" she says.
"Would you sleep with me for $20?"
"Hell no - what do you think I am, a whore?"
"We've already established that, now we're just negotiating the price."

I spent a lot of time in my younger days being a plaything for these types.

[pwd72s]

What's the big deal about diamonds anyway? Think I read somewhere that if Russia wanted to, they could make a shambles of the diamond market, just by selling a small percentage of their stockpile.

[Iggy]

Motion:

Sorry it fell apart but congrats on getting out with all your toys.

Lee: who said you're "respectable" now? j/k Make sure you drive that Beck to work when it's done.

[jlr69s]

She should love you for who you are not what you buy her. Just for her saying that you should NOT get her the big a$$ ring, get her something smaller, and spend the defference on your Porsche! She should be happy with what ever you get her because its the fact that you are getting married that should be special, not whats on her finger. Love is not materialistic!

[KTL]

Ahhhhhh! Thom Fitzpatrick, you rock.

Thanks to Jack Olsen for keeping this thread on the Tech. page!

Sorry to enjoy the thread at the expense of Motion, but that's the way it goes.

I'm no expert on the females by any stretch of the imagination, but do I know when to put my foot in someone's a$$ when the need arises. I think I would have put my foot in there all the way up to my knee!!

It really could have been the wig!

Live and learn, that's all you can do.

[widebody911]

You called that one! I find myself *heavily* targeted by that demographic, once they find out I'm a single, never-married, no-kids, engineering nerd!

Originally posted by RoninLB
My balance with women is not complicated and is based on simplicity. The most dangerous women out there is over 30 and divorced with kids.