How should I handle my college aged stepson in this situation?

[gprsh924]

The greek life here is really big. A good part of the stuff happening on the weekends involves a fraternity. There is a lot to do no matter what but being in a frat is fun. Some of my friends are, and they all really enjoy it. At Miami, rush is at the beginning of the second semester, not right way in the first semester like many schools. When it came down to it, I knew I absolutely had to get a minimum of 3.5 second semester so I decided not to pledge because of the massive amount of time that it takes up. Pretty much everyone I knew saw a decline (some small and some very large) in their GPA when they pledged because of how much time they spent at the fraternity instead of studying. I just couldn't have done it, although I may do it this year depending on things go. Basically, I think that they are a lot of fun, but they are a lot of work too.

Now if your stepson would be pledging this fall, it might not be a bad thing. He only has 12 hours so the extra time that pledging takes up would not as much of an impact. Then when he has to buckle down second semester, he will already have gone through the hell that is pledgeship.

[mattdavis11]

Now I really feel like chiming in since finding out the boy is at Ole Miss. That's where I started, my load was 15 hours my 1st semester. It's way too much, trust me. There are times when 15 or more is right, this is not it. Ole Miss, if it is anything like it was, it is very social, there is way too much going on all the time. And laud have mercy the women. I'd say scale him back to 9 hours and let a 2.0 fly with his mother.

Back when I was there, Ole Miss wasn't on the top of the list of party schools in the nation that playboy put out, they deemed it unfair that Ole Miss be put in the same category with the other schools. I wonder if they still have the field of pot for the pharmacy school?

BTW, he doesn't need a car in Oxford Miss, there are plenty of rides to be found to go party in Memphis, or blow the extra dimes in Tunica.. All I had was a bike, and it didn't prevent me from getting laid and having way too much fun.

I wish I hadn't screwed it all up back then, but now it doesn't really matter, I'm back in school full time at age 32, and I enjoy it. It's fun, and ooh my goodness the girls.. I make the good Deans list now.

[Rick Lee]

I couldn't care less about privacy laws. Tell your boy about the Golden Rule - the man with the gold makes the rules. You write the checks, you see the grades. Even if you didn't your bill should have a breakdown of credits. Isn't that how they bill you? $XX per credit?

If he's having a hard time focusing on academics now, rest assured, pledging a frat is NOT something I'd encourage at this time. That took up about every second of my spare time when I was doing it. We were f&cking slaves! Luckily, I had spent the last four years at prep school, so college wasn't very difficult for me and I tend to do better at everything when I'm really busy.

[tabs]

How the fk do U people miss the obvious. It really amazes me....

Anyway...the kid is away from home for the first time in his life and is NOW FREE of parental control. So he is running wild with this new found freedom, and he is still basically a child who hasn't grown up yet. Probably too much petting on the head as a boy.

[legion]

I took 12 hours my final semester. Of course, I went into that semester with 110 hours and needed 120 to graduate. I decided to take golf and swimming (1 hour each) so that I could remain a full-time student. I graduated in four years. I was also 0.02 grade points short of graduating with honors because I got a B in golf.

I double-majored in finance and BIS. That last semester with 10 hours of serious work and 2 hours of goof-off classes was by far my toughest. I was working 20 hours a week (7:00a-12:00p M-Th) and because I had two majors, I had two sets of "capstone" senior-level classes to take. Many classes had a large project as the single grade.

I liked finance. Accounting is all about producing an accurate financial picture of a company. It has very rigid rules and guidelines. Finance is the dark art of using those numbers to predict the future. There are often a dozen ways to work a problem--all of which could be correct depending on what assumptions you make.

[Dueller]

Garrett...Ole Miss has changed up the rush schedule so it starts in October rather at the beginning of the semester. Seems to be a good idea since it gives incoming freshmen a little time to get their feet on the ground. That being said he wasn't particularly intereste din rushing since we made it clear if that was what he wanted he would have to pay for it. Now that he's there he thinks he wants to pledge...even in light of dues at $400/month pluss assessments. We shall see.

Matt...you were there, what? 12-14 years ago. Trust me. There is now even MORE talent than ever befrore. I was there for law school in 87-89. it truly is astounding. And the nations only legal pot farm is still there.

Rick...we told him that. He was fine with it. But since I had it anywaywe didn't press. We just monitor without him knowing...kinda gives us an edge that he doesn't know. IF he were to change hyis password we'd expect it immediately.

[tabs]

[QUOTE=gprsh924;3475430]The greek life here is really big. QUOTE]
Wow I did not realize there are a lot of ******s at U of C

[tabs]

***** man I never took more than 12 hours in any quarter or semester and I still graduated in under 4 years....

[Dueller]

Originally Posted by tabs

How the fk do U people miss the obvious. It really amazes me....

Anyway...the kid is away from home for the first time in his life and is NOW FREE of parental control. So he is running wild with this new found freedom, and he is still basically a child who hasn't grown up yet. Probably too much petting on the head as a boy.

Interesting observation from a fellow that's still striving to live up to mother's expectations.

[Dueller]

Originally Posted by tabs

***** man I never took more than 12 hours in any quarter or semester and I still graduated in under 4 years....

But wasn't that a two year program at the Institue of Spoon Appraising and Truck Driving?

[tabs]

***** man at the UC there were classes I hardly ever showed up for....and didn't learn a fking thing except how to write and present ideas well.

[tabs]

Originally Posted by Dueller

Interesting observation from a fellow that's still striving to live up to mother's expectations.

It is a fools errand to try to live up to Mothers expectations as no one can live up to them, not even Jesus Christ himself.

[tabs]

Originally Posted by Dueller

But wasn't that a two year program at the Institue of Spoon Appraising and Truck Driving?

Oh U saw me there, weren't you in the third row sitting by the window. If I remember correctly all U did was stare out the window, everybody thought U were tripin on Blue Barrels all day long...especially after youd be humming "Inagaddaavida" by Iron Butterfly. Your rendition of the drum solo lwas quiet spectacular.

[Dueller]

Originally Posted by tabs

Oh U saw me there, weren't you in the third row sitting by the window. If I remember correctly all U did was stare out the window, everybody thought U were tripin on Blue Barrels all day long...especially after youd be humming "Inagaddaavida" by Iron Butterfly. Your rendition of the drum solo lwas quiet spectacular.

Yeah...I got a minor in coke spoons. When McDonald's started making their plastic miniature coffee spoons with no bowl I had to drop out since my dissertation was renedered useless.

[mattdavis11]

I'd encourage the boy not to pledge. Who pays to have friends anyway? There was never a problem finding a good party without being apart of one.

Deuller, yes 14 years ago, the best decision I ever made was to leave, even though I was invited back.

All of my savings had disappeared. Ole Miss., worth every penny. It was a helluva ride.

[tabs]

Originally Posted by Dueller

my dissertation was renedered useless.

Not useless, the paper from it was used in the Mens Room for many years...and a few sheets of may still be found laying around in there. If U ask me it was a Dissertation that was put to good use.

[Dueller]

On a serious note, Tabby. ..assuming your assessment is correct, what's the solution? Please give me your sage advice on the boy?

[Shaun @ Tru6]

Originally Posted by Rick Lee

Hey, don't forget - Dick Cheney was kicked out of Yale, not once, but twice. He made out alright.

that was for drunk driving.

[Dueller]

Originally Posted by mattdavis11

I'd encourage the boy not to pledge. Who pays to have friends anyway? There was never a problem finding a good party without being apart of one.

Deuller, yes 14 years ago, the best decision I ever made was to leave, even though I was invited back.

All of my savings had disappeared. Ole Miss., worth every penny. It was a helluva ride.

We have discussed the pro's and con's. He had pretty much come to the conclusion that he'd wait until next year or maybe seek a wildcat bid in the spring if he was really interested. He's very gregarious and makes friends easily, so there was no concern about his social life.

I guess he's up there under the influence and hype, so now he's registered for rush.

[legion]

Originally Posted by mattdavis11

I'd encourage the boy not to pledge. Who pays to have friends anyway? There was never a problem finding a good party without being apart of one.

That was always my opinion of frats.

I had a friend kicked out of one fraternity after some upper-classman frat brothers stole his checkbook and used it because he took the situation to the school. (He was basically told to suck it up--that was the price of being in a frat.) Even after that experience, he joined a different frat the next year.

My replacement RA the next year was kicked out of the same frat (Pikes) after some upper-classman frat brothers (the same guys?) started opening his mail around his birthday...he found the birthday cards in the trash--sans cash his family had sent him.

I lived on $400 my entire freshmen year of college (after rooming, tuition, meals were paid for). Frat dues at my college were something like $5,000 a year. After seeing how other people I knew were treated, I had no interest.