So what is a fitting punishment for stepdtr whose grades plummetted?

[Dueller]

Originally Posted by John_AZ

Dueller,

$15K for a "year" with Stijn is a bargain ;-)

John_AZ

Yeah...but how do I know he's good for it?

[svandamme]

I resent that.

[Dueller]

Originally Posted by John_AZ

Dueller,
Actually this is not a bad idea. Let your daughter know she can have a GAP year after graduation if her grades and lifes choices improve. She will find the European culture interesting. Her travels will forever benefit her.


John_AZ

Funny you should mention that. Their uncle on father's side is a senior VP advertizing/marketing for an international company. He was in NYC and is now in London. He travels extensively thru western Europe. We have encouraged each of them to explore doing an internship with his company 6 months at a time. He is on board with it.

But, alas...one with the slug bf doesn't want to be away for that long and other one feels she would miss out on all her activities here she enjoys so much (horseback riding, four wheelin', hunting etc.)

Both have visited him in NYC and Europe and really enjoyed it but for no more than a month at a time.

But we're working on them. I think it would be a wonderful opportunity to expand their vistas.

[livi]

Did I mention that Sweden is beautiful this time of year..?








Well, maybe not, but thats beside the point.

[MFAFF]

I think London would welcome them...getting them to leave after a 6 month stint might be a challenge..

The slug might not be as appealing afterwards..

[imcarthur]

Our mantra with our last one (aka The One Who Won’t Leave Home or ½ of the Room Monkeys) was: Keep him in school.

Her grades are dipping so she has already left school. Emotionally, mentally she’s just filling a seat. What will bring her back? Punishment? No. That will add fuel to the fire. Especially any social restriction you apply.

Think up an incentive. Yes, a bribe.

Ian - A Worn Out Parent . . .

[Dueller]

Originally Posted by MFAFF

I think London would welcome them...getting them to leave after a 6 month stint might be a challenge..

The slug might not be as appealing afterwards..

The tomboy stepdtr spent December in London. Took side trips to Spain, Portugal and spent new years eve in Paris. She loved it but was ready to get back home. Her southern accent was quite intriguing to all the europeans.

[svandamme]

good but older friend in Rottedam his wife was from Ohklaaaahooma
Got drinking, and after few drinks i was talking same accent back

She'de be "heeey, hooow are yoou soo goood with this accent of mine?"
And i was "well Debbie, i'm just soo goood all round now ya heeear!"


Any English accent i hear i'll just pick it up on the fly...
except Dutch English

cosh thatsh jusht too toooit for me

[John_AZ]

Originally Posted by MFAFF

I think London would welcome them...getting them to leave after a 6 month stint might be a challenge..

The slug might not be as appealing afterwards..

Dueller,

This is especially true.
American boys cannot compete with a Brit in a jacket and tie with a Pound in his pocket. It makes the American boy's lazy activities and job at Pizza Hut look like crap.

Send for information on Universities and schools in the UK. Let your daughter pick the school and maybe try a couple of classes this summer.
Try Exeter or many others. http://www.exeter.ac.uk/

John_AZ

[Dueller]

Originally Posted by John_AZ

Dueller,

This is especially true.
American boys cannot compete with a Brit in a jacket and tie with a Pound in his pocket. It makes the American boy's lazy activities and job at Pizza Hut look like crap.

Send for information on Universities and schools in the UK. Let your daughter pick the school and maybe try a couple of classes this summer.
Try Exeter or many others. http://www.exeter.ac.uk/

John_AZ

These are the slugs I have to deal with. Rich kid jocks that don't work because everything is given to them...

[the]

What do you mean by "rich."

[Dueller]

Originally Posted by the

What do you mean by "rich."

Well rich as in brand new cars or 4wd trucks, access to mom/dad's credit cards for anything they want...parents are successful professionals who live very well. One of them went on a date with a 17 y.o. kid that picked her up in his mom's Bentley. His Hummer was in the shop. That kinda rich.

[the]

Their parents have a net worth of what? $2 million? $5 million? $50 million? $100 million?

[John_AZ]

Call the boy's parents and ask if they would be interested in sending their sons to the UK for a couple of summer classes. This may interest the parents because it sounds good at the country club.

John_AZ

[Dueller]

Originally Posted by the

Their parents have a net worth of what? $2 million? $5 million? $50 million? $100 million?

LOL...well I guess its relative since we live in Mississippi. But if I had to guess probably NW of mid seven figures to low eight figures for these two dudes. Bentley guy's parents were probably the most flussh with a nine figure worth. But she didn't like him at all so they only had one date.

[the]

Do the parents have a plane or jet?

[Dueller]

duplicate post

[Dueller]

Originally Posted by the

Do the parents have a plane or jet?

Not a jet that I know of. But a few of their friends parents have private planes. Why?

[the]

It's kind of the modern standard barometer for substantial wealth.

I've worked with a lot of people and families with wealth (net worth) ranging from a few million to around $300 million, and I've seen a lot of their kids grow up. With varying results. Some have been hard workers, most have not. The ones that have not been particularly hard workers have turned out fine, as long as the family has substantial generational wealth, and owns a business that they can work in, and the kids are not total flakes.

The worst situation is where the family has modest wealth ($1-$5 million), but raises the kid as though they have real, generational wealth. Particularly where the family money comes from a "working professional" (Dr., lawyer, exec. at big company, etc., i.e., something that requires the skill of the parent and cannot be passed on to the kids), rather than from the ownership of a large, successful family business.

[Dueller]

Point well taken. I need to clarify that these girls are not "golddiggers." The house we lived in when their mom and I got married was relatively modest and cramped yet they never were embarassed to have their friends over. They have dated some great kids from modest working class families. And not all their friends are rich (as opposed to wealthy...). We just live in the highest per capita income/resources town in the state. For example, the median home price is in the $330K range here whereas statewide its probably less than $100K.

The boy on the left is really a slug. Like I said earlier, he's pleasant but not motivated to accomplish anything on his own. I have had a discussion with my stepdtr and asked how she felt about having to work for her money when bf doesn't. Her response was to the effect "Well that's just the way it is...i don't think he appreciates all that his mother gives him and he's kinda spoiled and lazy." No real resentment, and she enjoys being able to go to the lake on his boats/jet skis etc on his dime. Who wouldn't?

The other kid is a top notch baseball player being recruited by major league and colleges. Plans are to go to major college, get a degree, realistic about how much of a longshot is for a pro career. So in that sense he's OK. OTOH his father and mother are professionals and they fund a pretty comfy lifestyle so he can pursue a college baseball career. He doesn't work and all his gas/cars/entertainment etc is funded by parents.

Quiet honestly, I think both of the girls are very proud of "making it" on their own.