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Dueller's Avatar
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by porsche4life View Post
Good to hear you are doing well, Jim...

If ya ever wanna come up to OK for a weekend let me know... Could come hit up our autocross, and shoot some spoons!
Might just do that, Sid. Have to be in the Fall as the 911 is sans A/C now. Thanks for the invite.

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Jim
1987 Carrera
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1997 Buell Cyclone cafe project
1998 Buell S1W: "Angriest motorcycle I've ever ridden."
Old 08-23-2010, 05:56 AM
  Pelican Parts Catalog | Tech Articles | Promos & Specials    Reply With Quote #261 (permalink)
Cogito Ergo Sum
 
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Was thinking about her and the GFs... What are the chances that she has decided to start batting for the hometeam? Might explain her desire to be around them more than you...
Old 08-23-2010, 09:27 PM
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Well, if it fuels your imagination...

From my experience, it doesn't have anything to do with switch hitting. More about various clocks ticking, and a desire to be understood.
Old 08-23-2010, 09:31 PM
  Pelican Parts Catalog | Tech Articles | Promos & Specials    Reply With Quote #263 (permalink)
Cogito Ergo Sum
 
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Guess I could have worded that differently.... That wasn't coming from a fantasy... Just a thought about why she would be pushing Jim away, letting the gfs be in the marital bed late at night etc....
Old 08-23-2010, 09:33 PM
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Offbase young grasshoppa'.

About 5 p.m. received a text she and one of her dtrs need to come by house to pick up some clothes: "Me and JJ need to come by tom and get some clothes"

Oh the drama

Haven't responded yet but I think "OK" is enough. When I get around to it.
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Jim
1987 Carrera
2002 BMW 525ti
1997 Buell Cyclone cafe project
1998 Buell S1W: "Angriest motorcycle I've ever ridden."

Last edited by Dueller; 08-24-2010 at 08:42 AM..
Old 08-23-2010, 09:40 PM
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Cogito Ergo Sum
 
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Was just throwing something out there...


Tell her they will be out on the lawn...
Old 08-23-2010, 09:43 PM
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Originally Posted by porsche4life View Post
Tell her they will be out on the lawn...
Maybe in another time...right now I'm sticking to me gameplan to preserve my sanity and doing nothing. The last thing she would expect from me given our history.
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1987 Carrera
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1997 Buell Cyclone cafe project
1998 Buell S1W: "Angriest motorcycle I've ever ridden."
Old 08-23-2010, 09:46 PM
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Originally Posted by Evans, Marv View Post
Jim,
I said it before and right now I'll throw my vote in with the guys who are encouraging you to pack it in. Like McLovin (I think it was him) said, you've been used & abused enough. You need to leave and get out to enjoy life yourself. Remember you only live once, etc., etc. I bet it wouldn't take long before you'd feel like a huge weight was lifted from your shoulders. But if you actually make the break, don't ever look back. I agree with those who say you seem to be a really nice buy (maybe that's your problem), and I wish you the best of luck. Kick her to the curb rather than the other way around, which has seemed to be the norm.
Dueller,

Sorry to hear this but i have to say that given the investment of your spirit and time, Marv is right. As painful as it could be, you need to take the initiative and put her behind you. If she doesnt know what she wants or whatever is going through her head, she sure as hell doesn't have a clue how to take care of you. Move on brother you deserve respect and it sounds like your not getting it in this marriage.

Dan
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Old 08-24-2010, 03:55 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dueller View Post
Maybe in another time...right now I'm sticking to me gameplan to preserve my sanity and doing nothing. The last thing she would expect from me given our history.
Good for you. It is business now. Treat all meetings & communications like a slightly distasteful - but professional - business situation. Never yell or argue - just walk away or hangup. Nothing will be gained if you debase yourself.

Ian
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Old 08-24-2010, 04:00 AM
  Pelican Parts Catalog | Tech Articles | Promos & Specials    Reply With Quote #269 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dueller View Post
About 5 p.m. received a text she and one of her dtrs need to come by house to pick up some clothes: "Me and JJ need to come by tom and get some clothes"
Oh the drama
Haven't responded yet but I think "OK" is enough. When I get around to it.
Have you changed the locks on the house? If not you need to get that done ASAP! She moved out and if you let her just come in and out at her whim you are telling her she is still in control of the situation. If you just let her come in to "get some clothes" you best be there or she may decide she needs a few other items in addition to clothes.
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Old 08-24-2010, 05:30 AM
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Hey Dueller, I've been reading along but until now didn't have anything of value to add. Even now this may not be worth much. But you say you love her dearly still. Well bro I carried such love for my ex long after she bailed on me and it prolonged my agony for far to long. I know you can't just stop loving someone but please, for your sake, try to let go of her. You deserve to be happy brother. FWIW.
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Old 08-24-2010, 06:12 AM
  Pelican Parts Catalog | Tech Articles | Promos & Specials    Reply With Quote #271 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nostatic View Post
Well, if it fuels your imagination...

From my experience, it doesn't have anything to do with switch hitting. More about various clocks ticking, and a desire to be understood.
Agree and its more that she is not the same woman that Jim married. Time changes things, especially with the womans "change of life" time.

This happened to me and she simply was not the same person. Am still good friends with the Mother in Law and family, and they say the same.

Make a smooth as possible break and move on with your life. You have given it more of a chance than most would have done.
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Old 08-24-2010, 06:12 AM
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canna change law physics
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dueller View Post
Haven't responded yet but I think "OK" is enough. When I get around to it.
I agree on changing the locks. You need to take control and maintain control.

As far as sending her a text back. Don't. She needs to phone you. I would ignore texts and only speak by phone. Anything written can and will be used in a court of law.

Geez, it has been 12 years now. Technology changes, people don't.

IF things are really over, the turning point is when she turns mean. It will suck more than anything to see someone who you may still love, turn against you, lie to you to hurt you, etc. Do not assume that even if you are on good terms now, that it will stay that way.

Jim, you are a good guy. I know how you feel. I am similar. And I'm an engineer. I think I can fix ANYTHING! Some things you can't fix.

No matter what, we're here for ya.
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The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the engineer adjusts the sails.- William Arthur Ward (1921-1994)
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Old 08-24-2010, 06:23 AM
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Originally Posted by red-beard View Post
IF things are really over, the turning point is when she turns mean. It will suck more than anything to see someone who you may still love, turn against you, lie to you to hurt you, etc. Do not assume that even if you are on good terms now, that it will stay that way.
And do not think that this will not happen. My ex- was really a good friend and things stayed that way until she got in a relationship with another guy.

All of a sudden the boyfriend was telling her to "go after that rich pilot and get everything you can get" was the new outlook. Back when we were friendly she begged me when I moved out to leave the Bang & Olufsen stereo I bought before we were married. I trusted her at that time and was hoping that the marriage could be saved, but it was a $10,000 mistake. Four years later my lawyer finally got it back after I found the receipt showing the purchase date. My ex delivered it to his office, dropped it on the floor and walked out. Nothing in the agreement with the court said that it had to be in one piece or work...

99% of the time the other half will change and it will not be for the good. CYA!
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Old 08-24-2010, 07:24 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by flatbutt View Post
Hey Dueller, I've been reading along but until now didn't have anything of value to add. Even now this may not be worth much. But you say you love her dearly still. Well bro I carried such love for my ex long after she bailed on me and it prolonged my agony for far to long. I know you can't just stop loving someone but please, for your sake, try to let go of her. You deserve to be happy brother. FWIW.
When you figure out how to extinguish the feelings on demand, bottle it and put it on eBay. Women and men alike could use some.
Old 08-24-2010, 07:40 AM
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canna change law physics
 
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Originally Posted by Joeaksa View Post
And do not think that this will not happen. My ex- was really a good friend and things stayed that way until she got in a relationship with another guy.

All of a sudden the boyfriend was telling her to "go after that rich pilot and get everything you can get" was the new outlook.
That was my exact situation as well. The problem, I wasn't rich and there was little to fight over. She took things that rightfully were mine. I didn't care. It was more important for the thing to be over with, quickly, and move on.

Not I didn't still have feeling for her, just that we knew we couldn't keep a relationship together.
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The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the engineer adjusts the sails.- William Arthur Ward (1921-1994)
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Old 08-24-2010, 08:09 AM
  Pelican Parts Catalog | Tech Articles | Promos & Specials    Reply With Quote #276 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by milt View Post
When you figure out how to extinguish the feelings on demand, bottle it and put it on eBay. Women and men alike could use some.
Milt, they already make the opposite of what you are talking about. You know, the stuff that makes these feelings come alive.

Its called BOOZE!

James,

My problem was that at that time (and not now either) was not "well to do" but doing ok in life. It was not that I wanted the stereo that much but I would be dammed if I was going to let her have it.

I am still in touch with her Brother and family and make sure that they know how well I am doing in life. Its revenge at its sweetest...
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2013 Jag XF, 2002 Dodge Ram 2500 Cummins (the workhorse), 1992 Jaguar XJ S-3 V-12 VDP (one of only 100 examples made), 1969 Jaguar XJ (been in the family since new), 1985 911 Targa backdated to 1973 RS specs with a 3.6 shoehorned in the back, 1959 Austin Healey Sprite (former SCCA H-Prod), 1995 BMW R1100RSL, 1971 & '72 BMW R75/5 "Toaster," Ural Tourist w/sidecar, 1949 Aeronca Sedan / QB
Old 08-24-2010, 08:52 AM
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Then you haven't let go.

You know how to let go? Find the real person in that person you thought you knew. We don't really know what we think we know when it comes to people, even mates.

When you find that other person in your love interest, you won't like that person.

Now, that ain't all. Love and hate are similar if not the same emotions in terms of intensity. What you are looking for is indifference.

So, don't look too deep.
Old 08-24-2010, 10:56 AM
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for the most part, i think women are just evil. They can call it up any time they wish too...just evil.
Old 08-24-2010, 11:43 AM
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Guess I have to count my blessings. Ran into an acquaintance who was in a similar situation as mine. I.e., married woman with three kids, none of his own, did everything to make their life better, became close to kids, then divorce after 16 months. And this poor schmuck bought her a 300K house trying to woo her back...against advice of counsel. While we were commiserating, my phone rang twice with invites from friends to get together for dinner. This guy just dropped his head saying "At least you have a support group...I have no one...my family has ostracized me and none of my friends will talk to me about it.' rEALLY SAD SITUATION.

No contact with wife. Got an email from cruise line that she has made reservation for spring break cruise in 3/11...going to Belize with twin dtrs, their bf's, and bf's mothers. What a trainwreck

Headed to Atlanta later today with a bud. Gonna stop at Barbar Motorcycle museum in B'ham on the way back. Will post pics.

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Jim
1987 Carrera
2002 BMW 525ti
1997 Buell Cyclone cafe project
1998 Buell S1W: "Angriest motorcycle I've ever ridden."
Old 08-27-2010, 03:45 AM
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