Separation as a tool to save a marriage...your experiences?

[imcarthur]

Very sorry, Jim. Take your time. With car and . . .

Ian

[Seahawk]

Jim,

Although I only spent about two hours with you picking up the POS Honda you sold me (I kid, it has been great), I can state without reservation you and I would become friends...and that crazy man that was there.

So, be good to yourself. You are a good man. Keep that perspective.

[scottmandue]

So sorry to hear this Jim, you are a great guy... and this is her loss.

[Rot 911]

Jim I really think you gave it your best shot. You just can't change a persons basic personality. Of course that doesn't make you feel any better, but at least you can get past this knowing you tried. I could use a vacation. Wait until the heat breaks and maybe you can get a few of us to come visit.

[Oh Haha]

I'm sorry to hear this Jim.

Having been happily married now for 9 years after my divorce, I can tell you that life goes on, my friend. ( and it can be even better than it was)

I hope that everything can be worked out between the two of you sans animosity.

[scottmandue]

RE: Moving on... I'm newly married for 8 months now... my first marriage...

Wife's third marriage... the first two she "settled" because she "felt her clock ticking"

Neither of us were looking for a spouse, a friend introduced us. we immediately liked each other but she lives in Portland OR and I live in Los Angeles so we knew it wouldn't work out.

We flew back and forth for a year to see each other.

We "fit" in every way.

So we got married.

She still can't believe a guy can express his emotions... I can't believe I can speak my mind/be my dorky self and not tick her off...

She is happier than a pig in stink.

I'm pretty happy too.

I hope you can find that some day Jim.

[Jim Richards]

Sorry to hear this, Jim.

[onewhippedpuppy]

Damn Jim that sucks, sorry. On the upside, it definitely appears that you gave it your best shot, so hopefully no regrets.

[genrex]

Unbelieveable. It boggles the mind. Even though it's late in the day on a Friday, you should make some phone calls to freeze your joint accounts and protect yourself financially. Her history shows that she consistently does not communicate her plans to you until after the fact. Just sayin'...

[red-beard]

Really sorry to hear about it Jim. But Gen is right, lawyer up and protect yourself, NOW. And you know the saying about representing yourself...

[syncroid]

Hi Jim, I've been reading about this from the first post but never added. I too feel the same as McLovin. I saw the danger signs way back. (not going to specify why) You seem like a really good person and have given it 100% to make it work. Its hard to give 100% when you only get 40% back. You know what I'm saying?
Hang in there Jim. I mean that. Keep your chin up and move on.

[LeeH]

Wonder if she was baiting you with her attitude and arguments hoping that you'd make the first move. Once it was apparent you were going to make every effort to work through it she got impatient and figure she was going to have to be the bad guy after all.

[Rick Lee]

Jim, it's time to start looking out for number one and not stepping in number two. If you want to sell me all your guns for $1, I'll hold onto them for you until things settle down.

[Dueller]

Thanks to each and every one of you, including all the PM's, for your support and words of encouragement.

I've told a few of my close friends about the situation...I really am blessed for you guys here and my non-cyber friends locally who have really risen to the occasion. I've had invitations to dinner, out boating on the lake, meet for beers or coffee, etc. I'm fortunate to have such a wonderful support group. Really helps the bruised ego. Trying to do productive stuff for me and avoid the temptation to wallow in self loathing and pity.

If history is an indicator, she will want to avoid confrontation and bury her head in the sand to pretend it (and I ) will all go away. I've consulted an attorney and for the time being I am pretty well protected but the game plan is to silently wait.

[Zeke]

Originally Posted by LeeH

Wonder if she was baiting you with her attitude and arguments hoping that you'd make the first move. Once it was apparent you were going to make every effort to work through it she got impatient and figure she was going to have to be the bad guy after all.

After a year? I'd say she has no idea what she wants and that is the basis of the whole problem.

Jim, stay busy with the friends and don't be afraid to talk to other women. It's just talk, but you'll soon realize what somewhat normalcy is. No 2 alike, but some are fairly well adjusted.

It's nice to find that out every now and then.

[Evans, Marv]

Jim,
I said it before and right now I'll throw my vote in with the guys who are encouraging you to pack it in. Like McLovin (I think it was him) said, you've been used & abused enough. You need to leave and get out to enjoy life yourself. Remember you only live once, etc., etc. I bet it wouldn't take long before you'd feel like a huge weight was lifted from your shoulders. But if you actually make the break, don't ever look back. I agree with those who say you seem to be a really nice buy (maybe that's your problem), and I wish you the best of luck. Kick her to the curb rather than the other way around, which has seemed to be the norm.

[Vonzipper]

Vegas !!

I had to say that, sema is coming up, invite a friend, PM me and your in

[pwd72s]

Well, Key-rap! Sorry to hear

But not surprised

Life DOES go on...

[MFAFF]

Sorry to hear this, Jim...
That project 911 does look very tempting.
Take care of it and of yourself.......

[billybek]

That sucks, but I have the feeling that you'll do OK.
Ahhh, if you want to sell me all your cars for $1, I might sell them back to you after the dust settles!!
Best of luck with this.