Yep! Ya go me there! But now you are understanding my golden retriever rule. I get a good dog, works for me, works for the dog and works for every woman on the face of the earth!:D

Say, sounds like it is moving in a positive direction. Keep your eyes open and keep us posted, this place is worse than the enquirer.

Great news! Keep us in the loop... when you come up for air that is!

I don't want to sound overly optimistic, but things have gone swimmingly of late. I attribute much of our "progress" on a number of factors, not the least of which is my attitude towards the stepdtrs...in essence I have completely backed down on being involved with decisons regarding them and registering my disagreement with decisions wife makes with regard to them. In hindsight this is probably what I should have been doing all along. It would have preserved my personal sanity and likely would have not put wife in a position to feel the need to deceive me when it came to their issues/actions/behavior. My anger levels have subsided to non-existent.

Other factors include getting wife on some meds to control hormone rage, cutting back her hours at work, her adjusting and seeing positive sides to an empty nest (i.e., happy the kids are starting their own life, more time for "us" to do things we enjoy together, visits with kids, though less frequent, are more of a special event rather than day to day mundane encounters, etc.), and the fact that at the end of the day she really seems to value our relationship...something I think she realized during the separation.

As the great Zen Master wisely observed: "We shall see."

Good news and best of luck.

My fiance and I are seeing a couples therapist now working out step parenting issues before we get married. Reading your posts has heightened my interest in dealing with this now vs. later. She has been increasingly armchair quarterbacking my parenting and relationships with my teens (17 and 19) and I've had enough of it. We'll either work through it now or decide not to continue the relationship.

I'm only two years into married life. But I'd say, if you're in counseling before you're even married, then that's a problem. You know the old saying - if it bothers you while you're dating, it will drive you insane once you're married. Very true.

...unless you take care of it first!

Best,
Tom

I think it's time to shut down this thread.

Good Luck Jim

Jim,
Sorry but your wrong about what is working, my friend.

It's all the great advice and emotional support your Pelican buddies gave you through the events.

We're here for ya!!!!SmileWavy













obviously j/k

Good luck with everything. I wish you guys the best.

Well that lasted almost a year to the day:rolleyes:

Explain, please.

Thanks,
Tom

deleted

Oh no!!! Dueller - you ok?

angela

Bummer.

Sorry.

Let me guess... the twins are now heading off to college again and the wife erupted again?

Sorry to hear that Jim. Hope you get a handle on things.

*Sigh*

First I'm OK...dreading the process, but OK.

Bottom line is wife wants to have more time to hang out with her drinking friends usually without me along rather than spend time with me alone. Girls nite out once a week has turned into inviting friends along on our date night. Kids are not really involved in this mess...were able to work thru some ground rules that were tolerable by all.

After a rolling weekend long argument that escalated despite my attempts to diffuse (and subsequently losing my temper). On wednesday morning I went to her and apologized for the argument escalating and that I valued the relationship and wanted to work thru it. She had nothing to say. When I returned home she was gone. Apparently is getting an apartment with one of her dtrs that has decided to attend local community college rather than go back to university.



On the plus side I've got some stuff to keep me busy and out of bars...lotsa parts to start slapping on old red 911.

Sorry to bring back the post from July 2009, but . . .

Anyways, sorry to hear about it. But really, to an outsider with a perspective that you can't have (being so close), this was inevitable.

You've posted a lot about you and the situation (and about you in general). You are a good person who has been used by this woman for a long time. Truly sorry to say that, but you need to look out for yourself and move on.

Wow...gloating and support in the same post.;)

Thanks for your support, McLov.

Sorry things didn't work out as you had hoped. It seems as you tried as hard as you could.

Keep busy with the 911 and hopefully things will be as easy as possible.

Anybody wanna come down south for a suspension rebuild/fg body panel clinic on a DE project?

http://forums.pelicanparts.com/uploa...1282331184.jpg

http://forums.pelicanparts.com/uploa...1282331363.jpg

http://forums.pelicanparts.com/uploa...1282331448.jpg

Very sorry, Jim. :eek: Take your time. With car and . . .

Ian

Jim,

Although I only spent about two hours with you picking up the POS Honda you sold me (I kid, it has been great), I can state without reservation you and I would become friends...and that crazy man that was there.

So, be good to yourself. You are a good man. Keep that perspective.

So sorry to hear this Jim, you are a great guy... and this is her loss.

Jim I really think you gave it your best shot. You just can't change a persons basic personality. Of course that doesn't make you feel any better, but at least you can get past this knowing you tried. I could use a vacation. Wait until the heat breaks and maybe you can get a few of us to come visit.

I'm sorry to hear this Jim.

Having been happily married now for 9 years after my divorce, I can tell you that life goes on, my friend. ( and it can be even better than it was)

I hope that everything can be worked out between the two of you sans animosity.

RE: Moving on... I'm newly married for 8 months now... my first marriage...

Wife's third marriage... the first two she "settled" because she "felt her clock ticking"

Neither of us were looking for a spouse, a friend introduced us. we immediately liked each other but she lives in Portland OR and I live in Los Angeles so we knew it wouldn't work out.

We flew back and forth for a year to see each other.

We "fit" in every way.

So we got married.

She still can't believe a guy can express his emotions... I can't believe I can speak my mind/be my dorky self and not tick her off...

She is happier than a pig in stink.

I'm pretty happy too.

I hope you can find that some day Jim.

Sorry to hear this, Jim.

Damn Jim that sucks, sorry. On the upside, it definitely appears that you gave it your best shot, so hopefully no regrets.

Unbelieveable. It boggles the mind. Even though it's late in the day on a Friday, you should make some phone calls to freeze your joint accounts and protect yourself financially. Her history shows that she consistently does not communicate her plans to you until after the fact. Just sayin'...

Really sorry to hear about it Jim. But Gen is right, lawyer up and protect yourself, NOW. And you know the saying about representing yourself...

Hi Jim, I've been reading about this from the first post but never added. I too feel the same as McLovin. I saw the danger signs way back. (not going to specify why) You seem like a really good person and have given it 100% to make it work. Its hard to give 100% when you only get 40% back. You know what I'm saying?
Hang in there Jim. I mean that. Keep your chin up and move on.

Wonder if she was baiting you with her attitude and arguments hoping that you'd make the first move. Once it was apparent you were going to make every effort to work through it she got impatient and figure she was going to have to be the bad guy after all.

Jim, it's time to start looking out for number one and not stepping in number two. If you want to sell me all your guns for $1, I'll hold onto them for you until things settle down.

Thanks to each and every one of you, including all the PM's, for your support and words of encouragement.

I've told a few of my close friends about the situation...I really am blessed for you guys here and my non-cyber friends locally who have really risen to the occasion. I've had invitations to dinner, out boating on the lake, meet for beers or coffee, etc. I'm fortunate to have such a wonderful support group. Really helps the bruised ego. Trying to do productive stuff for me and avoid the temptation to wallow in self loathing and pity.

If history is an indicator, she will want to avoid confrontation and bury her head in the sand to pretend it (and I ) will all go away. I've consulted an attorney and for the time being I am pretty well protected but the game plan is to silently wait.

After a year? I'd say she has no idea what she wants and that is the basis of the whole problem.

Jim, stay busy with the friends and don't be afraid to talk to other women. It's just talk, but you'll soon realize what somewhat normalcy is. No 2 alike, but some are fairly well adjusted.

It's nice to find that out every now and then.

Jim,
I said it before and right now I'll throw my vote in with the guys who are encouraging you to pack it in. Like McLovin (I think it was him) said, you've been used & abused enough. You need to leave and get out to enjoy life yourself. Remember you only live once, etc., etc. I bet it wouldn't take long before you'd feel like a huge weight was lifted from your shoulders. But if you actually make the break, don't ever look back. I agree with those who say you seem to be a really nice buy (maybe that's your problem), and I wish you the best of luck. Kick her to the curb rather than the other way around, which has seemed to be the norm.

Vegas !!

I had to say that, sema is coming up, invite a friend, PM me and your in

Well, Key-rap! Sorry to hear

But not surprised

Life DOES go on...

Sorry to hear this, Jim...
That project 911 does look very tempting.
Take care of it and of yourself.......

That sucks, but I have the feeling that you'll do OK.
Ahhh, if you want to sell me all your cars for $1, I might sell them back to you after the dust settles!!
Best of luck with this.