Told the GF I loved her, she didn't say it back

[Gogar]

+1,

Chill out,

Don't say a word about it,

Don't let her know it hurt you,

Be really good to her,

Until she absolutely begs for you to say it again.

And at that point,

Wait a little longer.

[Crowbob]

I think you may have already jumped the shark on this, whatever that means. And how do you know her husband is the sick one? Three months in this scenario and you think you're in love. I hear alarm bells that you best not ignore. Worst case: This is plays out like a a show on the ID channel. Best case: you are still enjoying each other a year from now.

[kaisen]

Re-read Gogar's post above.
What happened cannot be undone (or unsaid) but it doesn't have to be a big deal unless you make it into one. Hugh is right, at least she is being honest and that's a big plus. Just go with the flow and don't paint yourself into a corner.

Sometimes people hear the love word and it scares them, even though they feel the same way but think they shouldn't.....

[Zeke]

Jeez, if you have a bed partner, what else did you need? You had to go and tell her you loved her?

Although in real honesty, I did pretty much the same thing and we've been married for 26 years.

[lisa_spyder]

Will I do?

You spoke with your heart...nothing to be ashamed of .

But this lady is carrying a fair bit of baggage currently and is no doubt feeling the strain of dealing with all of that emotionally. Don't forget you both have kids to consider and that alone may make her take pause.

Your may know in your own heart that she is the one...but beware the lust mistaken for love; give it more time and see where your relationship goes.

I think you're lucky if this lady has indeed been so honest with you . Enjoy the fact that you both have so much in common and have a blast when together. She hasn't said she won't fall in love with you; just that she needs to get past the past. Let the relationship grow and grow together...

And don't be so hard on yourself . If she really cares for you she will understand (and from what you have posted I think she does care).

[Schumi]

Go read Schumi's relationship chronicles parts 1-6 and see how that turned out for me.

[Zeke]

Originally Posted by Schumi

Go read Schumi's relationship chronicles parts 1-6 and see how that turned out for me.

I remember the situation you had leaving for your new gig in LA. I figured the romance would not last. Was I right?

[scotricker]

+1 Gogar's answer, and Lisa's too. Gogar got it right, read that one again.
Chill for awhile, and you'll have a better chance for success in the long run.

[wcc]

Yeah dude back off... Let her get her crap together before you drop a bomb on her like that. Stay away now and hang with your friends and sort of ignore her, but be there if she needs you. Obviously she isn't in the same place you are. It may be years before she's there, are you prepared? If not, date other people along the way.

[kaisen]

Originally Posted by Schumi

Go read Schumi's relationship chronicles parts 1-6 and see how that turned out for me.

Exactly how it was destined to. And for the better. We'll have a drink when I make it to SoCal in two or three weeks....

[bivenator]

A lot of good advice, I will consult the PPOT if I ever have to get married again.

[masraum]

She's still getting a divorce. Even if it's her decision, and she's been working towards it for a while, it's a very traumatic experience. I wouldn't expect ANYTHING from her until at least 3-6 months after the D is final. You've said it, she's probably actually happy that you said and feel it, but just chill.

I haven't been divorced, but I've heard a bunch of my divorced buddies talking about it. It seems almost universal that most of them didn't want anything to do with women for a few months after the divorce. Then, something clicked, and they wanted women like mad. It sounds like she's not feeling the same, but I can't help but think that most folks of any persuasion will want to be saying the three words to anyone WHILE they are going through a divorce, and probably even immediately after.

I'd say your best move is to ride this out and enjoy your time with her. Mentally prepare yourself that it will be temporary so you aren't too hurt if it ends. We've all heard about transitional/rebound boy/girl friends, you're in a prime location for that role. I think that cutting loose would be a waste on your part, but I'd also think that planning for or expecting it to be permanent would also be a bit naive.

IMO, your best course of action is to live in the day and try to not think this too far out.

[Hugh R]

Originally Posted by kaisen

We'll have a drink when I make it to SoCal in two or three weeks....

Make sure you post when you know your plans.

[BRPORSCHE]

Send flowers, make sure you get to keep the pots and pans, and GTFO.

Good luck man.

[kaisen]

Originally Posted by BRPORSCHE

Send flowers, make sure you get to keep the pots and pans, and GTFO.

Ha!! I'd almost forgotten...

[RANDY P]

she just got out of a relationship....In fact it's probably highly distorted - she may not know what's she's doing.

You are waaay too heavy too soon for that kind of talk. You probably freaked her out.

If she said something back this early in the game Id be worried if I were you...I'd worry about being the rebound man..


rjp

[TechnoViking]

Again, thanks everyone. You guys (and gals) are alright.

I'm gonna try to get some sleep.

[onewhippedpuppy]

Originally Posted by BRPORSCHE

Send flowers, make sure you get to keep the pots and pans, and GTFO.

Good luck man.

Now THAT is funny.

[enzo1]

[Porsche-O-Phile]

*slap* *slap* *slap*

Like that.