Need Some Advice, Moral/Relationship: - Page 2

genrex · 07:10 PM

Two thoughts:

She has one child. The child is how old now? She has not remarried, so she's still getting child support at this point. What are the chances that she's looking to get pregnant again, with an old school "good provider" type of guy?

Also (quote) as soon as I began talking to his ex, I run into the guy.

Somebody upstairs is talking to you, and you know what the message is.

_

mreid · 09-03-2012, 07:07 PM

You know the saying, "no matter how good looking she is, some guy somewhere is sick of her *****."

Seriously though, the kid keeps him in the relationship and it will get weird at some point and you will not be friends. The simple question is, which relationship is more important to you? Chose that one.

Gogar · 09-03-2012, 07:09 PM

Go on a date. You might not like her anyway.

Please consider also that SHE might just tell him for you. Even if you only go on one date. Girls have - a ummmm - tendency to do interesting things like that.

speeder · speeder's Garage

Quote:

Originally Posted by mreid

You know the saying, "no matter how good looking she is, some guy somewhere is sick of her *****."

Seriously though, the kid keeps him in the relationship and it will get weird at some point and you will not be friends. The simple question is, which relationship is more important to you? Chose that one.

I don't have much of a relationship with him. He's one step up from an acquaintance. I used to be a fairly social creature and managed in a hip restaurant in another life, so I know hundreds of people on a casual basis. My relationship with her is a budding friendship at this point, so no need for concern yet. If I wind up in a significant relationship ever with her, I'll deal with the fallout.

Once again, if it was a close, valuable male friend, I would not need to ask. I'm just curious as to what others here say--I know guys who have no moral or man code and would be scamming someone like her if she was married. I'm fairly on the other end of the scale.

speeder · speeder's Garage

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gogar

Go on a date. You might not like her anyway.

Please consider also that SHE might just tell him for you. Even if you only go on one date. Girls have - a ummmm - tendency to do interesting things like that.

You are absolutely right. I've already broken the ice by telling him that I have been talking to her, it was NBD. Maybe he's over her and completely moved on. I asked him if they were on good terms and he said yes, them amended it to, "as good as you can be with someone who is nuts", or something like that. But you have to take that with a tiny grain of salt, or at least realise that it's hardly unbiased.

Cajundaddy · Cajundaddy's Garage

Several old friends ended up with my cast-offs over the years (long term girlfriends, not wives). Power to em. I couldn't find a proper use for them so at least someone could.

One of my close friends had a sister who really wanted to get together with me. She was smokin hot but there was just no-way, no-how! A much higher standard of rules here.

Shuie · 09-03-2012, 07:29 PM

You're good. Go for it.

9dreizig · 09-03-2012, 07:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gogar

Go on a date. You might not like her anyway.

Please consider also that SHE might just tell him for you. Even if you only go on one date. Girls have - a ummmm - tendency to do interesting things like that.

the voice of wisdom has spoken...... Gogar's right, OR her kid will blab..

speeder · speeder's Garage

I know I'm gonna regret that.

Joe Bob · Joe Bob's Garage

As long as it doesn't fart and fly out the window when you bite it on the ass....you have the Joe Bob seal of approval.....

Gogar · 09-03-2012, 08:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by speeder

I know I'm gonna regret that.

Oh dude, she's got the crazy eyes. Best of luck to you.

LeeH · 09-03-2012, 08:58 PM

I dated the ex of a close friend when I was in college. Didn't plan it... just happened. The details don't matter, but the one thing my friend said to me later was, "If you had just told me I would have given you my blessing." Since I didn't, he was pretty upset. My bad (did I mention that I was in college?).

That was around 25 years ago. He and I are still close friends today. She doesn't speak to either of us.

Joeaksa · 09-03-2012, 09:14 PM

If you have to ask, then IMHO its not right for you.

I dated an old friends ex-wife for a while but he could have cared less. We are still friends (the lady) and who knows, might turn into something more in the future. Difference was the relationship I had with the ex-husband....

speeder · speeder's Garage

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gogar

Oh dude, she's got the crazy eyes. Best of luck to you.

Well, that picture was taken today and titled something like "this is what I look like with no sleep after packing all night." She is driving from Texas back to L.A. after taking care of her grandmother for the last few months. She's a serious beauty.

speeder · speeder's Garage

Quote:

Originally Posted by Joeaksa

If you have to ask, then IMHO its not right for you.

I dated an old friends ex-wife for a while but he could have cared less. We are still friends (the lady) and who knows, might turn into something more in the future. Difference was the relationship I had with the ex-husband....

I know what you mean and respect your opinion but I don't really have to ask so much as I was curious as to other's opinons. Obviously if it's a close friend and/or there is any deception involved it's not kosher. This would be none of the above.

porsche4life · porsche4life's Garage

Quote:

Quote de speeder

I know I'm gonna regret that.

Oh dude, she's got the crazy eyes. Best of luck to you.

And he knows crazy....

The boy speaks the truth...

Tobra · Tobra's Garage

Quote:

Originally Posted by recycled sixtie

Okay so her ex is a cool guy according to you. You seemed to like him as guys go so why is he an ex?
There must be a good reason. All that glistens is not gold. Don't be fooled by a woman's good looks. If it would cause conflict because you were dating his ex, move on. There are lots of other fish in the sea.

This, too many others out there Denis

Bill Douglas · 09-03-2012, 10:34 PM

Denis.

What to say. Oh hell, I'd do anything to go out with her. Maybe go out for lunch a few times and if it looks like you two are going to be more than friends phone the guy and say "Just so you didn't hear it through the rumor mill..." as a mark or respect to him.

A side note: No more naked evenings with a hot tub full of supermodels if you get into a relationship.

Dottore · 09-03-2012, 11:07 PM

Gogar's right. There is some serious crazy in those eyes. My radar for this sort of thing is highly developed. Tread very carefully!

Heel n Toe · 09-03-2012, 11:31 PM

When you mentioned you had been talking to her to your acquaintance, her ex, if he had said, "Dude, you want to stay farrrrrrrrr away from her because she is nuttier than a bag of trail mix," that would be your sign to stay away.

As it worked out, he didn't say that, so he is probably fine with it and may be hoping it works out long term so he can get off the hook for alimony.