Need Some Advice, Moral/Relationship:

[speeder]

I took down the pic after you that visited in the first two pages saw it. It's a small world and all.

[vash]

Originally Posted by speeder

I took down the pic after you that visited in the first two pages saw it. It's a small world and all.

Darn! I would go for it. All my exes are fair game. For my buds. Whatever. Especially after 10 years. My good buddy finally told me he banged my ex the week she dumped me. He was so nervous to tell me. Geesh! I laughed. This was years later. I can't even remember the girls name right now. But I do remember her dads perfect FJ40!

[Porsche-O-Phile]

There's a reason she's an ex. I'd avoid. Assuming your friends are similar enough to you to the point where you became friends in the first place, it's highly likely that the things that drove them apart would do so with you also.

And there's the obvious - if one has any kind of respect for his/her friends they'd never do this on general principle. I never would. If I could envision doing it, then the person isn't really a friend and it says something about the "friendship" IMHO.

Dating friends' exes is the territory of scumbags.

[Joeaksa]

Originally Posted by speeder

I took down the pic after you that visited in the first two pages saw it. It's a small world and all.

Not to worry, some of us saved a copy just in case its needed.... like for the "missing persons" report!

[Cajundaddy]

Originally Posted by speeder

Well, that picture was taken today and titled something like "this is what I look like with no sleep after packing all night." She is driving from Texas back to L.A. after taking care of her grandmother for the last few months. She's a serious beauty.

Yep Speeder, she is quite the hottie AND she has the crazy eyes. Those are the most dangerous kind because they will lead you down the rabbit hole. Approach with due caution.

"She's so fine there's no tellin' where the money went..."

[Geoz1]

Go ahead and pound her out. Then decide if shes worthy of keeping around.

[Seahawk]

The whole conundrum is one large, industrial sized box of "depends".

I was going out with a gal in college that my best friend was crazy about, more so than me: He actually told me in advance that should I ever dump this gal he was going to roll in hot.

I did and so did he. Thirty plus years later we are still best friends and the young lady is a fond footnote for both of us, a campfire story we love to tell.

In your case, Denis, I don't see an issue.

Later in life my best bud from the story above married, had a child and subsequently divorced. His wife (ex) is a great gal.

His deal from the moment they broke up was that he hoped she would find someone that makes her happy. I am sure your acquaintance/friend, if he is a good dude, feels the same way.

Especially after ten years.

[Schrup]

WWDD. What would Dueller do?

[emcon5]

My wife used to date my best friend. They went out off and on for a few months, but she wasn't really his type.

I invited her over for dinner one night, simply because I wanted to get to know people outside the Navy. The plan was she could introduce me to some of her friends.

As usual, no plan survives first contact, and we hit it off really well. I talked to him the next day, and asked if he had any issue with my dating her he had none, and our 20 year anniversary is in November.

I talk to the friend every couple weeks, and still get together as often as possible to hunt.

As to a casual acquaintance, I wouldn't be worried about that at all.

Think of it this way, in a small town (say a graduating HS class of ~300), every guy is going to be at least a casual acquaintance of every ex- of every woman in the town. It really is not that big of a deal.

[speeder]

The whole conundrum is one large, industrial sized box of "depends".



I was going out with a gal in college that my best friend was crazy about, more so than me: He actually told me in advance that should I ever dump this gal he was going to roll in hot.



I did and so did he. Thirty plus years later we are still best friends and the young lady is a fond footnote for both of us, a campfire story we love to tell.



In your case, Denis, I don't see an issue.



Later in life my best bud from the story above married, had a child and subsequently divorced. His wife (ex) is a great gal.



His deal from the moment they broke up was that he hoped she would find someone that makes her happy. I am sure your acquaintance/friend, if he is a good dude, feels the same way.



Especially after ten years.

I think this is the correct answer. It all depends on the circumstances. One of my closest friends in the world has a smoking hot ex. They have been divorced for almost 20 years and were married for 2. No kids. She is still completely beautiful and very interesting and nice. There is no way I would date her. He would mind and I care about what he thinks.

Here is the kicker: immediately before they got together, she was the GF of one of his other closest friends. It was an insignificant relationship and he simply asked his bro for his blessing and he gave it. BF #1 was at the wedding and all was happy. The dudes are all friends to this day.

The ex-husband of the woman in this thread is not a close friend. In 20 years of knowing him, I've never really hung out with him and never spoken to him on the phone, that I can recall. He is more of a "friend of a friend". I would not even glance at a woman that he was presently involved with but I think ex-wife of 10 or 15 years ago is fair game. On the slight chance that anything happens, (I've probably jinxed it by posting this thread), he will be among the first to know. I think I would give him a courtesy call.

[Tervuren]

I *really* do not think dating an ex-wife of a living ex-husband is a good idea period, outside of the ex-husband having gotten his divorce for doing things with a woman that wasn't his wife.

Ex GF, another matter.

[kaisen]

FWIW, Tiffany says you're 100% in the clear.....and she writes an advice blog on dating etiquette and has tons of young women looking to her for dating advice.

[flatbutt]

Talk to the man. Tell him you're going to date her and would hope that he's OK with it.

[scottmandue]

Just my two cents...

In the end, each person is totally unique therefore every relationship is doubly unique.

It is human nature and all very fun to pigeon hole people and relationships... but at the end of the day it is just silly fun and means nothing.

My wife had three strikes... twice divorced (75% of third marriages end in divorce) and was dating my good friend (which still befuddles me because they have absolutely nothing in common) after a month he broke it off and introduced me to her because "we were very much alike".

It bugged the heck out of me that she dated him... but after a couple months it became obvious that our similarities/connection outweighed any arbitrary social rules of interaction.

Carry on..

[speeder]

Originally Posted by emcon5

As to a casual acquaintance, I wouldn't be worried about that at all.

Think of it this way, in a small town (say a graduating HS class of ~300), every guy is going to be at least a casual acquaintance of every ex- of every woman in the town. It really is not that big of a deal.

I've thought about that. I would not want to live in a small town for a variety of reasons but that would be one. Oddly enough, in the biggest cities like NY and LA, it's a pretty small world if you're in the mix. That's bad enough for me.

[red-beard]

Originally Posted by Schrup

WWDD. What would Dueller do?

Dueller dated three different sisters, at different times in his life...

[speeder]

Dueller is much more of a player than me, that's for sure.

[72doug2,2S]

Post a pic of just her eyes. We need to see Ms. Crazy Eye to help you.

[vash]

honestly..i'm several women's "EX"! does that make me damaged goods? (maybe)

i think it is impossible for us to get along with EVERYONE..that is why we have ex's. somebody may hate this woman, but that doesnt mean she wont be another man's perfect mate.

trick it to get thru the sea of craziness and drag your ass up onto the beach of happiness unscathed.

i repeat, go for it!!

[Jim Richards]

Originally Posted by nostatic

Though I suppose Rick might let you hide her in his garage when he comes over for a beer

This