How Do You Deal With Negativity?

[recycled sixtie]

Originally Posted by Avolyn Ave.

Thanks, but to be honest it took me 6 years of blood, sweet, and tears to get a teaching job; I would have accepted a position nearly anywhere. Not to say that high-performing schools do not have their downsides. For instance, instead of dealing with insubordinate, downright nasty kids, you deal with parents questioning and scrutinizing every grade you give a kid. The politics at any school (district) are face palm-worthy to say the least. The stories I could tell... It's truly a miserable way to spend a day...day-after-day.

Perhaps there are teachers that really enjoy this kind of work. If you find it miserable to do day after day then could you find something to do that is more enjoyable?

[Porsche-O-Phile]

Have to agree. I've dealt with a lot of difficult issues in the last several years and it's led me to some serious soul-searching and introspection about the reasons why, etc.

To boil it down I've realized that when confronted with difficult (or seemingly insurmountable) situations you have exactly two choices before you: piss and moan or do something to change it. Start there. Good luck. Seriously. I hope you decide to act. Once you commit, things start to fall into place.

[Avolyn Ave.]

Originally Posted by recycled sixtie

Perhaps there are teachers that really enjoy this kind of work. If you find it miserable to do day after day then could you find something to do that is more enjoyable?

As a whole I'm trying to look at the positives, which are present on a daily basis. However, I doubt someone would "really enjoy" an environment where they are antagonized (damn near bullied) daily, by the very people who they have committed themselves to helping. Now, my school is in a bad place right now, but we can hope that this changes in the next 5-10 years.

As far as changing careers, that's a hard pill to swallow, but nonetheless, one that I am considering.

[recycled sixtie]

Originally Posted by Avolyn Ave.

As a whole I'm trying to look at the positives, which are present on a daily basis. However, I doubt someone would "really enjoy" an environment where they are antagonized (damn near bullied) daily, by the very people who they have committed themselves to helping. Now, my school is in a bad place right now, but we can hope that this changes in the next 5-10 years.

As far as changing careers, that's a hard pill to swallow, but nonetheless, one that I am considering.

If you have a wife and children as your responsibility then it is harder to change careers but it can be done if you have enough determination...

Good luck to you but it is not so much luck as your desire to change direction.
Cheers Guy

[Avolyn Ave.]

Originally Posted by recycled sixtie

If you have a wife and children as your responsibility then it is harder to change careers but it can be done if you have enough determination...

Good luck to you but it is not so much luck as your desire to change direction.
Cheers Guy

Thanks. Summers allow me to explore different avenues. Already have a plan for next summer. We'll see.

[vash]

while i can find a thread on words we hate or phrases we hate..there is not a thread on words we love

negativity is everywhere. it's not easy looking at the bright side of things.

[Christien]

My wife is an elementary school teacher. She spent a year at one of the hardest schools in the city - parents not picking up kids because they were addicted to online poker, kids getting in fights, quite literally peeing in the classroom (not accidentally). She really loved the challenge and would have stayed on except for the fact that it was a one-year contract. She then got a permanent position at maybe the most affluent school in the city, and it was a lot like described above - entitled kids, helicopter parents, kids raised by daycare and nannies. Certainly not all of them - only a few, but there were challenges just the same.

Originally Posted by Porsche-O-Phile

To boil it down I've realized that when confronted with difficult (or seemingly insurmountable) situations you have exactly two choices before you: piss and moan or do something to change it.

Couldn't agree more with this.

[aschen]

I deal with a lot of this at work, to some people it seams like everything Sucks. If you are on the right side of the grass, got food to eat, people that give a crap about you, no debilitating diseases, you better count your blessings is how I feel.

A good example is this thread, Against my better judgment I interjected a bit:

Investment Grade? Really?

[Jim Richards]

Originally Posted by vash

while i can find a thread on words we hate or phrases we hate..there is not a thread on words we love

Dude! That's easy! Horsepower, Torque, Gs, twisties, 911s, down force, traction, etc.

[intakexhaust]

Drift and think about fun things to play with - cheer's

[911SauCy]

Originally Posted by Porsche-O-Phile

Turn off the news - all sources.

Go do physical activity - bike, run, surf, swim...

Stay busy.

This hits it on the head for me.

I refuse to watch the negative, inaccurate, sensationalism...also know as the news. People literally ask us "How do you do it without cable?" Simply put, it's enlightening.

Over the course of the last year I've had a crash course on how I was going to handle negativity from one of the most important people in my life:

Lunatic Mother crosses the line (long)

It's hard to "ignore" negativity, while it's easier to make life choices that will keep you away from negative people. I've had to take a stand with my mother in order to keep her at arms length which allows me to make the decisions on how/where/when we interact. Taking this step was empowering and has helped me take other stands against her, like learning to tell her she is welcome to visit and interact but when she starts (as she does, without fail) lathering on the nasty about some person/place/thing...I show her the door and tell her it will not be tolerated in my home.

It was incredibly difficult to initiate for me and of course I was the bad guy, but in time she has settled into an acceptance that I just won't deal with her toxic nonsense.

She continues to insult my wife and I behind our back to close family and friends. They come to us with intent to inform and I ensure them that I know my mother is a negative, jealous, narcissist and while I appreciate them wanting to share for good, my life is too positive to be brought down by trivial hearsay.

Not being drug into the negative drama has made my marriage better, my enjoyment of my kids greater, and my personal/family time that much more enjoyable.

[HHI944]

Originally Posted by Jim Richards

The good thing about negative people is that they make me feel very happy not to be them.

I whistle this when I'm at the shooting range.....gets me some interesting looks.

[RF5BPilot]

-News/TV/etc. - I try to just get the minimum. Problem is, they've decided that Fear Sells. So, even positive news is delivered in a "The World is Ending" tone of voice. And if you listen, a large portion of the news is conjecture about what might happen, not what's actually happened. Easy to do anything else.

- In person - problem is, a lot of people think they're expressing how smart they are through negativity. I try to move them to the sport, hobby, etc., that they actually like. Even if I don't care a whip about their kids, I'd rather hear them {invent things to} brag about their kids than hear their fragmented views on society.

[sammyg2]

Some folks see things more negatively than they really are. They are wrong.

Some folks see things more positively than they really are. They are wrong also.
I avoid contact or conversation with people who are consistantly wrong.

Some folks see things as negative or positive as they REALLY ARE.
I like people like that.

They are right.

[911SauCy]

Originally Posted by RF5BPilot

- In person - problem is, a lot of people think they're expressing how smart they are through negativity. I try to move them to the sport, hobby, etc., that they actually like. Even if I don't care a whip about their kids, I'd rather hear them {invent things to} brag about their kids than hear their fragmented views on society.

Ahh, the classic redirect.

I'm learning the finer art of this useful method now, with a very smart 20 month old.

[tabs]

Originally Posted by cabmando

I sing that song from the Life Of Brian... "Always look on the bright side of life.."

And we all thought Ronald reagan was RIP....this is not true he is being channeled by Cabby here^^^^^^^^^

[Crowbob]

Probably one of the most depressing scinerios for me is one in which high school teachers can't spell. Irregardless, sarcasm and humor do seem to overcome that, uzally.

[72doug2,2S]

Originally Posted by M.D. Holloway

I'm sure its a sort of protection mechanism, but so many people are negative and its just not business folk, but people in general. Not sure if it is regional, cultural, socio-ecomonic, ethic but it seems like there is no shortage of those that assume the worst.

I'm so tired of it. I have decided to try and ignore them...thats a tough thing to do.

What do you do when someone you like, or work with / for, are related to, or love is basically getting more and more negative about everything? Its like these people are fully expecting the worst and are not timid about expressing it.

Try to stay out of the teacher's lounge.

[john70t]

I've worked hard in my life, tried to do the right things in situations, even when it wasn't the easiest path, and often been screwed-over every which way till saturday. Getting older, physical pain, and especially being hurt by those whom I shared my heart with has left me jaded to a degree. Those feeling are not always easy to compartmentalize. As a result I've spoken to others here on the board in extremely crass ways for which I've no excuse. In my family if you didn't shout you were ignored and could simply simply wither by the wayside, and that's what I carried forward in adult life. But in hindsight, I'm also recognizing the mistakes I made. Sure dad wasn't there growing up and busy but did I make that extra effort to ask him? When being a jerk to that jerk person, once upon a time, could there have been a better way of handling it without creating permanent animosity? I suspected some situations were wrong to begin with so why did I continue investing in them? Nobody's fault but my own.
The world is a big place and there is a seat for every butt on this planet.

There was once an old Buddhist monk traveling with his young companion.
They arrived at a deep stream with a woman wanting to cross over.
The old monk carried her across.
Later down the road the young monk said "You are not supposed to touch a woman! Why did did you carry her?"
The old monk replied "I left her at the riverbank. You still carry her."

[herr_oberst]

Here's how I deal with negativity - I just picture myself in Kellys Heroes as Donald Sutherland.

Works every time...