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peanut sitting on a railroad track,
peanut sitting on a railroad track,
his heart was all a flutter, 348 came around the track, toot, toot, peanut butter! 
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chance favors the prepared mind 1987 944 n/a 5spd. who remembers dial phones?. 'STOP FIXING THINGS ONE STEP BEFORE YOU BREAK SOMETHING ELSE" |
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03-10-2007, 06:44 AM
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Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 69
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I would say you are showing your age, because I know where you learned that.
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03-10-2007, 07:01 AM
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least common denominator
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: San Pedro,CA
Posts: 22,506
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Two peanuts are walking down the street..
and one is a-salted
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Gary Fisher 29er 2019 Kia Stinger 2.0t gone  1995 Miata Sold 1984 944 Sold I am not lost for I know where I am, however where I am is lost. - Winnie the poo. |
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03-10-2007, 07:44 AM
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Colorado, USA
Posts: 8,279
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A preacher visits an elderly woman from his congregation. As he sits on the couch, he notices a large bowl of peanuts on the coffee table. "Mind if I have a few?", he asks.
"No, not at all", the woman replied. They chat for an hour and as the preacher stands to leave, he realizes that instead of eating just a few peanuts, he emptied most of the bowl. "I'm so sorry for eating all your peanuts! I really just meant to eat a few", the preacher apologized. "Oh that's alright", the woman replied. "Ever since I lost my teeth, all I can do is suck the chocolate off them". |
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03-10-2007, 09:13 AM
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Edministrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: SF east bay
Posts: 25,236
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Did you hear about the fire at the circus?
It was in tents.
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Good post? Leave a tip! O - $1 O - $2 O - $3 |
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03-10-2007, 09:26 AM
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least common denominator
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: San Pedro,CA
Posts: 22,506
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A native American goes to a psychiatrist and says.
"I have this dream where at first I'm a teepee then I'm a wigwam then I'm a teepee then I'm a wigwam!" The psychiatrist says. "Your two tents"
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Gary Fisher 29er 2019 Kia Stinger 2.0t gone 1995 Miata Sold 1984 944 Sold I am not lost for I know where I am, however where I am is lost. - Winnie the poo. |
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03-10-2007, 09:29 AM
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Parrothead member
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Monmouth county, NJ USA
Posts: 13,896
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A horse walks into a bar. Bartender say, "hey why the long face"?
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Vinny Red '86 944, 05 Ford Super Duty Dually '02 Ram 3500 Diesel 4x4 Dually, '07Jeep Wrangler '62 Mercury Meteor '90 Harley 1200 XL "Live your Life in such a way that the Westboro Baptist Church will want to picket your funeral." |
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03-10-2007, 12:14 PM
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Unregistered
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: a wretched hive of scum and villainy
Posts: 55,652
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A piece of string hops into a bar and up on a bar stool and orders a beer. The barkeep kicked him out because, well he was a piece of string.
He hung out near the bar entrance for a while and then asked a girl who was walking by to do him a favor. He said "please pick me up and tie a large knot in one end of me, and then fray out the fibers on the small end." She did. He hopped back into the bar and onto the same barstool and this time with a bit of a cocky attitude, said "yo barkeep, beer". The bartender said "aren't you that same piece of string I just kicked out of here? The string said, "I'm a fraid knot!" Booo hisss. |
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03-10-2007, 02:46 PM
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Registered
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: houston, tx
Posts: 7,259
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A man walks into his psychiatrist's office and says 'I'm a wig-wam, I'm a tee-pee, I'm a wig-wam, I'm a tee-pee!"
Psychiatrist says "Calm down sir, you too tense."
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the unexamined life is not worth living, unless you are reading posts by goofballs-Socrates 88 coupe |
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03-10-2007, 07:32 PM
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Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Winchester, Va
Posts: 666
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A Bear and a Rabbit shi((ing in the woods. Bear calls out to the Rabbit
"Hey Rabbit you got a problem with sh)t sticking to your fur" Rabbit "No" So the Bear reaches over and wipes his ass with the Rabbit.
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Tim 82 SC 90 C2 Yasowatt |
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03-10-2007, 07:44 PM
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Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: the beach
Posts: 5,155
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Where do melons spend their summer vacation?
John Cougar Meloncamp.
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Charlie 1966 912 Polo Red 1950 VW Bug 1983 VW Westfalia; 1989 VW Syncro Tristar Doka |
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03-10-2007, 10:04 PM
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Registered
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: the beach
Posts: 5,155
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A man jumps out of an airplane and pulls the ripcord on his parachute. Nothing happens.
As he plummets earthward, he passes a woman going up just as fast. "Do you know anything about ripcords?" he shouts. "No," she answers, "Do you know anything about gas stoves?"
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Charlie 1966 912 Polo Red 1950 VW Bug 1983 VW Westfalia; 1989 VW Syncro Tristar Doka |
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03-10-2007, 10:07 PM
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Re: peanut sitting on a railroad track,
Quote:
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1978 911 SC coupe (whenever-I-get-to-the-lake driver) 2008 VW R32 #2846/5000 Past Rides: 1999 Jeep Cherokee Sport-lifted |
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03-10-2007, 10:27 PM
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"O"man(are we in trouble)
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: On the edge
Posts: 16,452
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Blind guy with a seeing eye dog walks into Macy's, he picks the dog up by the tail and spins him over his head a few times. Sales person comes over and says, heah, you can't do that. Guy says, why not, I'm just looking around.
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03-11-2007, 06:17 AM
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Join Date: May 2001
Location: Hurst, TX. USA
Posts: 804
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Did you hear the one about the cannibal who dumped his girlfriend?
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Clay Perrine 74 914 1.8L (Frodrick) 73 914 /6 4.0L 964 motor (Igor) 70 914 /6 Factory Six. (Elwood) 95 BMW 540i (Inga) |
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03-11-2007, 06:24 AM
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Kantry Member
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: N.S. Can
Posts: 7,032
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How about the two cannibals who started in on this guy, one at the head, one at the feet. After a while, one asks the other,
"How are you doing?" "Having a ball!" came the reply. "Well slow down. You're eating too fast!" This thread is nuts. Les
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Best Les My train of thought has been replaced by a bumper car. |
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03-11-2007, 11:33 AM
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Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: New Brunswick, Canada
Posts: 5,472
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I eat my peas with honey,
I've done it all my life. It may taste kind of funny, but it keeps them on the knife. Howdy, Les!
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Jake Often wrong, but never in doubt. '81 911 euro SC (bits & pieces) '03 Carrera 4s '97 LX450 / '85 LeCar / '88 Iltis + a whole bunch of boats |
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03-11-2007, 11:45 AM
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Dog stolls into town on a horse w/ his leg in a sling, guy asks "what brings you to these parts?"
Relpy: "I'm lookin for the man that shot my paw" Try the veal
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Jim 76 911s 3.6l Track Car 05 Ferrari F-430 "If its worth doing...it's worth doing to excess" |
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03-11-2007, 02:31 PM
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Unregistered
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: a wretched hive of scum and villainy
Posts: 55,652
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Knock knock
who's there? Impatient cow Imatien....... MOOO! |
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03-11-2007, 03:38 PM
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Monkey+Football
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Two blondes walk into a bar.
You'd think one of them would have noticed it.
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<Insert witty comment> 85 Targa Wong Chip Fabspeed M&K Bilsteins and a bunch of other stuff. |
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03-11-2007, 04:10 PM
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1987 Porsche 944 2.5
1978 Porsche 911SC 3.0L CIS
2005 Ferrari F-430
Payne-Killer
1976 Porsche 911
