Kid attacked my boy. What would you do?

[RANDY P]

Teach the kid a lesson. Full send, let the family have it. Sue.

You could be helping him in the future.

rjp

[steveo12345]

A while back my son was pepper spayed directly in the face by a school bully. This happened right after school was dismissed but still on school grounds. I reported it to the police who responded right away. They asked if we wanted to press charges for assault. We did not but wanted to do something to put an end to it. The police suggested a meeting between the 2 kids and the parents at the police station. It went well and scared the crap out of the bully. The parents were also told about what could happen to them if we pressed charges since he was a minor and they were responsible for their son's actions.

[KFC911]

Originally Posted by steveo12345

A while back my son was pepper spayed directly in the face by a school bully. This happened right after school was dismissed but still on school grounds. I reported it to the police who responded right away. They asked if we wanted to press charges for assault. We did not but wanted to do something to put an end to it. The police suggested a meeting between the 2 kids and the parents at the police station. It went well and scared the crap out of the bully. The parents were also told about what could happen to them if we pressed charges since he was a minor and they were responsible for their son's actions.

Excellent .... I like this approach too!

[Crowbob]

That was a great solution.

However, in Michigan at least, the schools act in loco parentis, meaning ‘in place of parents’. Because the big bully body slammed the smaller kid in the school, during school hours and presumably under the supervision of school personnel, the school may be on the hook.

[Rikao4]

Originally Posted by unclebilly

Getting him charged and expelled from school likely will make the rest of his life horrible.

What happened to my kid can’t be undone.

This other kid’s future could go 2 ways and I don’t want whatever path I choose to make his life worse.

read it all..
just whose kid are you worried about..
certainly not yours by my take..
damage can't undone..
WTF..
sure it can..
you either do it..
or bring down the hammer..
but don't ..
hmm he's really a just a misunderstood fat kid..
and expect atta Dad...

Rika

[jhynesrockmtn]

It always amazes me how many recommend to sue the school, sue the family, sue whomever. Lawyers are the real predators in a lot of situations.

I work in a small school with 370 kids and about 45 staff. Do you think it is reasonable to prevent every negative interaction between two kids?

I commend the PO on looking for a reasonable approach to punishing this kid without ruining his life. If it is going to get ruined, he'll have plenty more opportunities to do so. Let him know he screwed up, let him know there are consequences. Also let him know that there are people that care for him and are there to help him make better choices in the future.

[berettafan]

Go talk with the principal and let him/her know you think reasonable punishment is appropriate here. 2 day suspension or similar. If you are sincerely concerned about a repeat of the event then put the principal on notice, both in person and via follow up email.

I don't agree with calling police for what amounts to a one sided fight. That is a terrible idea and a wild overreaction. I was thrown against the wall by a teacher in HS and once took an unsolicited roundhouse kick to the head in gym. Hell my parents never even heard the story.

If the kid is on the basketball team then he should be off. There has to be consequences but, and i can't stress this enough, calling police because your kid got tossed around by another kid in school is a massive overreaction. The appropriate response was a bloody nose delivered by your kid at the time it happened but that time has passed and with two concussions your son is on the sidelines for sure. Teaching the big kid a lesson he'll understand isn't worth FURTHER brain injury.

[unclebilly]

I spoke with the principal and the RCMP this morning and we have a plan. The plan will have a positive outcome one way or another.

I appreciate the input and everything is still in the table but I’m thinking the current path will be effective.

I’m interested to hear from my son how his first day back at school goes today.

[Crowbob]

Originally Posted by jhynesrockmtn

It always amazes me how many recommend to sue the school, sue the family, sue whomever. Lawyers are the real predators in a lot of situations.

I work in a small school with 370 kids and about 45 staff. Do you think it is reasonable to prevent every negative interaction between two kids?

I commend the PO on looking for a reasonable approach to punishing this kid without ruining his life. If it is going to get ruined, he'll have plenty more opportunities to do so. Let him know he screwed up, let him know there are consequences. Also let him know that there are people that care for him and are there to help him make better choices in the future.

I don’t think it reasonable to think every negative interaction can be prevented by the school. But, in this case, every future negative interaction by that kid can be. Suing the school puts pressure on the school to do something about it. A settlement can include his expulsion.

[berettafan]

Originally Posted by Crowbob

I don’t think it reasonable to think every negative interaction can be prevented by the school. But, in this case, every future negative interaction by that kid can be. Suing the school puts pressure on the school to do something about it. A settlement can include his expulsion.

I agree if there is a known pattern of behavior and thus future serious assaults are predictable then the school would carry responsibility if they didn't act appropriately. I would think the kid gets at least a 'last chance' warning here.

It might also be wise to consider whether your kid is a prick who makes getting under other kids skins a hobby. Every school has a few of those kids. I would not feel very good about involving police if my kid incited the behavior.

[KFC911]

UB it sounds like you've got a plan ... best to you sir! You also say you've known the boy since he was five, etc. Have you talked to him personally to find out "where he's at" right now? Just a suggestion .... good luck!

[unclebilly]

Expelling this kid would have very negative implications on his future. We live in a small rural community. His only other option would be being driven to town for school or correspondence.

This is not about getting revenge or punishing him. My motivation is to get him the help he needs so we can get these behaviours sorted out while he is 13, not once he’s in the system at 18. He isn’t a bad kid, he has some really crappy stuff happening in his life and is having trouble dealing with it and reacted.

He took his anger out on my son, this is unfortunate but reality.

[flatbutt]

Originally Posted by unclebilly

Expelling this kid would have very negative implications on his future. We live in a small rural community. His only other option would be being driven to town for school or correspondence.

This is not about getting revenge or punishing him. My motivation is to get him the help he needs so we can get these behaviours sorted out while he is 13, not once he’s in the system at 18. He isn’t a bad kid, he has some really crappy stuff happening in his life and is having trouble dealing with it and reacted.

He took his anger out on my son, this is unfortunate but reality.

Precisely why I suggested using the threat of pressing charges in order to get him into an intervention program as an alternative.

[Scott Douglas]

Would you feel the same way if your kid had landed differently and say broke his neck?

[911 Rod]

It sounds like you are doing the right thing.

[Crowbob]

You are an honorable man, UB.

However, his expulsion does not necessarily have to have a very negative effect on him and it may facilitate him getting help. Any negative effects would be caused by the community or the family. His expulsion may actually have some support in the community. And it’s up to the family to mitigate any harm therefrom. If they treat it as punishment, rather than a step toward help it’s on them, not you.

A kid brought an unloaded handgun to my kids school once. I asked the principal what he was gonna do about it. His counter to my suggestion that he permanently expel him was met with something to the effect, ‘Oh, sure. Not in my backyard right? Shove the problem off to somebody else…blah, blah.’

I cut him off saying yes, that’s exactly right. I can try to protect all kids but my primary duty is to protect my kids.

[KFC911]

Originally Posted by 911 Rod

It sounds like you are doing the right thing.

Yep!

[3rd_gear_Ted]

Old school option: mano y mano
Tell your son to low bridge the kid next time he does a lay up in a game.

[KFC911]

Originally Posted by 3rd_gear_Ted

Old school option: mano y mano
Tell your son to low bridge the kid next time he does a lay up in a game.

LOL ..... I always wanted someone who weighed 100 lbs more than I did to set picks for me .

In college I played a lot with Tootie Robbins ... he weighed about 275 and was agile for a big man ..... played in the NFL for over a decade.

Pick & Roll Tootie

[Bill Douglas]

Billy, you could watch a few self defence youtubes with him and explain the fine art of self defence. And get the point across that when you are attacked by someone else there are no rules, no fair play, and how to absolutely deal to them. Also how to throw a REALLY good punch. Most brawlers punches and arms are going around like an egg beater. Return it with a fast and hard punch straight through the middle with good follow through to the jaw. Then when they are staggering around in a state of shock a massive kick to the face or chest.