Things are getting pretty bad..."Dad, I can't live like this anymore..."

[madmmac]

"She apologized for something, that could be a start of a turnaround in her head. There may be resolution for this yet."
__________________

Could be a start. I'm always an optimist.

Be at the DR's office before she gets there from her cab ride. You should always attend every medical visit with her if at all possible. First to ensure that both she and you are hearing the same thing and secondly, but probably more important, to be there for her.

[Hugh R]

Mike, at some point, you need to protect yourself and the kids. It doesn't sound like you're doing that.

[Joeaksa]

Originally Posted by LubeMaster77

Red - those pens are inexpensive - @$35! Can I get them at Best Buy you think?

These things cost about $30. You can afford it, especially when it very well may save your A$$.

Look on Ebay...

[Joeaksa]

Originally Posted by Hugh R

Mike, at some point, you need to protect yourself and the kids. It doesn't sound like you're doing that.

This is my concern. While the family is very important, saving you and the kids in the end is more important.

If she is intent on taking herself down, and dragging you guys with her, then its time to put your foot down.

[McLovin]

Sorry if this has been covered, but 17 pages is a lot to go through.

Is she receiving some sort of mental help/counseling?

Not "marriage counseling" (which IMO is useless, or at least as often destructive as it is constructive), but help relating to the effects of her blindness on her mental health.

[M.D. Holloway]

Guys - She isn't a devil and I'm confident she won't off any of us. She is very very depressed and treats us all harshly and me the most.

I am looking to protect the kids. Things have been put into motion. I did take her to the eye doctors then home. Tonight, we talked civily about separation and divorce safe from little ears.

I spoke to a friend today and told him about things going on. "I couldn't believe how she treated you when I was around - you have some patience. I felt uncomfortable with how she treated you."

"Why didn't you say anything?" I said.

"I did. You remember." He said.

I do remember.

[M.D. Holloway]

Originally Posted by vash

jesus...lube. the stories you tell seem fabricated, unreal. they are that bizarre.

i'm a quitter. i would have bailed on page one of this thread. i feel for everyone, especially the kids.

Vash - I know but they are the truth so help me God. I am no stranger to weird shyt happening in my life and I am sure I bring it all on to myself. I have had great things happen and horrible things as well.

[M.D. Holloway]

Originally Posted by Heel n Toe

Maybe go back through the posts here and jot down the many things people have thoughtfully advised you to do and decide for yourself.

John, I appriciate it. I really do. I read the responses and the fact that you and the rest of the 'bored' are willing to read this stuff and offer insight means more then you know.

This is like giving my Son advice on how to tackle. Its easy to instruct and try to project how you would do it in the others shoes but a funny thing happens when you strap on the pads and helmet and try it for yourself. Its a different story.

Many variables are at play. I'm doing what I can to keep it together and protect the kiddos. She is still my wife and the mother of my children. That still means something.

[M.D. Holloway]

So I was walking the dog this AM and I hear my wife yelling for me. She is at the end of the driveway. I come up, "Whats the matter?" "I locked my self out of the house." She says. OK, so I look in the garage and see that the screen door is closed but the storm door is open. Apparently the lock on the screen door slide over. "Do you have a key for the front door out here?" "Nope, I don't." "Why the hell not? Don't you think you should?"

Prolly, I guess..."I didn't lock my self out you did."

"Oh sure, so now its my fault!" She says.

Oh....ya...whose fault would it be?

I gently removed the screen, took a screw driver and lifted the window and reached my hand up in and unlocked the door. Not even a thank you.

[m21sniper]

I'm thinking in the future you should speak less bro.

You definitely have a chronic case of "instigate the crazy lady."

[M.D. Holloway]

I don't know how many of you remember back a few years ago the shyt I went through with my first ex-wife. She took me to court because I refused to pay for certain things our little princess bought for college - namely expensive thong underwear from Vicky's Secrete. After four court appearances I eventually won my case - cost me $12K but I won! (or did I...).

While this was going on, another bone of contention I had was that our little princess didn't want to take out any student loans are apply for any grants. Mommy thought that Daddy and her should pay the total nut and let little princess off with zero debt when she graduated. Daddy don't play that game. I won that action as well and my wife was on board with me then.

Until Sunday - while going through bills and bank statements, looking at a very modest college fund for the kids she told me that she thought we should pay for the kids education to wit I said "Huh? We talked about this when I was going through the same thing a few years ago. I don't agree." What floored me was the phrase she used, it was exactly what my first ex-wife said - verbatim!

"Providing a college education is the greatest gift we can give our children." What! Is there some meeting that these women attend that provides them with these actions, phrases and thought patterns? If so, Scientology has nothing on them!!!

"No, I disagree, we will pay after the kids get loans, grants and work. Thats what I did - I'm still paying off loans. Thats the price you pay for an education."

"I don't agree, I think we should pay for it." She says.

Yet another example for two worlds very very very far apart.

[m21sniper]

So you tell her, "If you want to pay out of your own funds then by all means, feel free."

[Gogar]

Has anyone done the "How's that working for you?" thing yet?

Or has anyone told you about "I hate you, don't leave me?"


Even better, if she's on "I hate you, leave me", then leave her. ( Of course it's not that easy.)

[M.D. Holloway]

You would think that she would treat me better. Its not like I need her, I want her (at least I did at one time) but she actually needs me! I know she knows that. Why doesnlt she just let me take care of her like I want to do and in return just don't wish me dead or scream at me in front of the kids? Fine, you don't want me in the biblical sense or care for my opinion - I can easily live with that but the other stuff can not and will not be tolerated.

[berettafan]

Lubey your kids don't have ppot.

Agree w kurt v u need counseling for yourself.

Note that your 'I'm not going to tolerate xyz' bit sounds good here but it looks like your wife has called bs on that big time.

[berettafan]

Originally Posted by LubeMaster77

Fine, you don't want me in the biblical sense or care for my opinion - I can easily live with that but the other stuff can not and will not be tolerated.

This is BS. Do you respect yourself or not? The first part of that statement invalidates the second.

This attitude or even a willingness to adopt it will keep you from healthy relationships.

You cannot demand respect with one hand while forfeiting it with the other. Just doesn't work.

[Schumi]

This is why I do coke instead of marriage.

[m21sniper]

This IS why i got a cat instead of getting married.

(Update: the cat meowed too much, so i got rid of it.)

[dhoward]

Originally Posted by Gogar

Has anyone done the "How's that working for you?" thing yet?

Or has anyone told you about "I hate you, don't leave me?"


Even better, if she's on "I hate you, leave me", then leave her. ( Of course it's not that easy.)

I have.
"I hate you dont leave me", and "Boundaries" are must reads in this situation.
But YMMV

[svandamme]

Originally Posted by m21sniper

This IS why i got a cat instead of getting married.

(Update: the cat meowed too much, so i got rid of it.)

i hose works wonders if mine are to yappy.