Have you ever willingly lived with your in-laws?

[onewhippedpuppy]

Originally Posted by vash

wait..wut?!

LOL. Run away, run away!

[Icemaster]

Invite OJU over for beers and cigars.

They'll leave the next day.

[ODDJOB UNO]

plan their visit right. if its summer they will BE INSIDE 24/7! winter into spring or late october into winter. at least they can bee-bop around.

if they vaporlock from 118degrees F...................it WILL BE YER FAULT!


what about a house boat at lake pleasant or bartlett?????????????? they got a pad, they can fish ski frolic blah blah and YOU can visit THEM ON THE WEEKENDS!

20 minutes away from the LEE KINGDOM!

a houseboat or rental apt will be a hell of a lot cheaper than a DEE-VORCE!

[Rufblackbird]

wear nothing but a belt with a holster and a pistol on it and bunny slippers when working at home, and regular clothes when Mrs Lee comes home

[ckelly78z]

Originally Posted by Rufblackbird

wear nothing but a belt with a holster and a pistol on it and bunny slippers when working at home, and regular clothes when Mrs Lee comes home

Yea, I was thinking of just a robe with no belt, so everytime Mr. Happy peeked out, elderly Mrs. Lee would see it and be ashamed that she was looking. Don't forget the daily calisthenics in front of her.

[ODDJOB UNO]

Originally Posted by Icemaster

Invite OJU over for beers and cigars.

They'll leave the next day.

no cee-gars-beers OTAY!...............we will teach them how to RIDE AND ROPE AND SHOOT! or HOOT!


i hear chinese cowboys are in high demand round these here parts!


come on guys, give rick a break..............how many grand canyon trip/lake powell/sedona/flagstaff/nogalas/white mtn etc etc az highways trips can he do???? for 6 freekin MONTHS+???????????


a house boat/apartment away a short distance is the key here. they are out of his hair, and wifey can see them 10-20 minutes away. everybodys happy and rick doesnt have to find a dee vorce lawyer.


you could on the other hand write a biz plan for "WHITE GUY CHINESE TOUR GUIDE and TACTICAL SHOOTING CLASSES!"

[vash]

Originally Posted by Rufblackbird

wear nothing but a belt with a holster and a pistol on it and bunny slippers when working at home, and regular clothes when Mrs Lee comes home

....and walk around doing nothing but lunges..

but seriously. we KNOW this is going to suck? maybe they will be cool ass inlaws. Chinese people. i cant even think of the word for "bored". they will find something to do. your garden may never look so good. i can see how your wife misses her parents. i bet they feel a million miles away.

[onewhippedpuppy]

Originally Posted by vash

....and walk around doing nothing but lunges..

but seriously. we KNOW this is going to suck? maybe they will be cool ass inlaws. Chinese people. i cant even think of the word for "bored". they will find something to do. your garden may never look so good. i can see how your wife misses her parents. i bet they feel a million miles away.

I have pretty cool in-laws. I like them much better than my own parents. No way in hell I want them in my house for 6-months.

[Rick Lee]

I have never really missed my parents, not when I went to be an exchange student in high school, not in college. I love them and get along great with them. I was just with them in NJ last week. Loved seeing them, couldn't wait to get back to AZ. No point in trying to convince Mrs. Lee not to miss her folks so much. That's just how it is. She does, however, need to accept the reality that living with in-laws has never made a marriage stronger and than that no man in history has ever willingly lived with his in-laws. We don't need child care or financial support, so those mild exceptions don't apply.

[Rufblackbird]

Originally Posted by onewhippedpuppy

I have pretty cool in-laws. I like them much better than my own parents. No way in hell I want them in my house for 6-months.

I can't stand my parents, but I like my MIL (FIL passed away long ago). I wouldn't mind her in my house for 6 months, but then again I'm Chinese and has accepted that I "married the family". Then again, she speaks and understands some english (and cantonese, which I have no understanding of whatsoever) and has a driver's license. Even she'd get bored here, so I kinda doubt Mrs Lee's parents would want to stay that long after they get here and realize there's nothing to do, and nothing is accessible by walking.

[vash]

i'm with Jeff. i could have my in-laws with me for 6 months easy. like him, i'm chinese. not so sure i could last with my own mother for a single month.

rick, the deal breaker in your situation is that they cannot communicate and be independent here..shiver! that would suck for you.

Rick. do your inlaws have property in China? do they have "roots" there? what is the reasoning behind the thinking that they want to stay here? your wife should be upfront with you. that is her biggest flaw in this entire thing. you seriously dont even really know wtf is going on in anyone's head.

[Rick Lee]

Originally Posted by Rufblackbird

so I kinda doubt Mrs Lee's parents would want to stay that long after they get here and realize there's nothing to do, and nothing is accessible by walking.

Oh man, if you saw where I lived... I'm at Tatum and Jomax. It's by no means the sticks, but it's also by no means pedestrian-friendly. I'm about to drive to the nearest grocery store four miles away. And it's not like there's a lot around there other than your basic strip mall stuff. When I've been in China, I never had a second of downtime unless I wanted it. There is just so much to see and do in those massive cities if you have any skills or sense of adventure at all. Where I live is, well, a place to live when you like your peace and quiet and basic necessities within a short drive. It's not a place for excitement, young people, tourists, non-English speakers, etc.

[Rick Lee]

Originally Posted by vash

i'm with Jeff. i could have my in-laws with me for 6 months easy. like him, i'm chinese. not so sure i could last with my own mother for a single month.

rick, the deal breaker in your situation is that they cannot communicate and be independent here..shiver! that would suck for you.

Rick. do your inlaws have property in China? do they have "roots" there? what is the reasoning behind the thinking that they want to stay here? your wife should be upfront with you. that is her biggest flaw in this entire thing. you seriously dont even really know wtf is going on in anyone's head.

Gawd, I couldn't live with my own folks for more than about 10 days and I love them to death....and they have money and cars and speak English and Mom's a good cook and Dad can fix anything I can't.

Mrs. Lee's folks have a high rise apt. in Nanjing and two cars. I think that's it. I've met the grandparents too. All are as Mainland Chinese as the day is long. And folks of her parents' generation tended to have lots of siblings. Met all the aunts and uncles too. Two of them are very well off and live abroad most of the time. I can't imagine why my in-laws would want to leave China with all they would be leaving behind. But I can't rely on that to save my marriage and my sanity.

[BlueSkyJaunte]

You could always suggest they go out hiking among the scorpions, diamondbacks, and Gila monsters.

Seriously, my in-laws were with us for the past 2 weeks (left today) and I thought I was going to go bat-schitt insane. My father-in-law is 100% Japanese. He is quiet, unassuming, a hard worker (he built a series of shelves in our spare room and did some minor renovation on our barn), and an outstanding cook. My 100% white-bread mother-in-law, however, is pushy, intrusive, noisy, and my polar opposite politically. That last wouldn't be a problem if she wasn't so interested in starting fights about politics with me. The past two weeks have been like walking around in a live-action PARF.

You have my sympathy. The only sure bet I see here is "Run, Forrest, run!"

[Rufblackbird]

Originally Posted by Rick Lee

Oh man, if you saw where I lived... I'm at Tatum and Jomax. It's by no means the sticks, but it's also by no means pedestrian-friendly.

I don't think anything north of the 101 is pedestrian friendly...in fact I don't think there are too many places besides downtown Phoenix or Mesa that's truly pedestrian friendly? Maybe send her parents a snapshot of your house on google maps zoomed out enough to see all the dirt around it, and ask them how long they'd like to stay...

Or, have Mrs Lee drop them off at the Desert Ridge Marketplace in the morning and pick them up on her way back from work

Hmm. My grandma (mom's side) is from Nanjing...

[9dreizig]

Rick, what about getting a chinese language student to be their guides for the visit ? Rent a car and she can practice her chinese and show them around... .. Sounds like they are coming so just make due,, meanwhile I'd concentrate on making a lot of sales calls...

[72doug2,2S]

Is there any room to build on an apartment with a locking door?

I'm not Chinese, and neither is my mother-in-law, but she is planning to move in to our apartment when she cannot take care of herself. When we built the main house the apartment was part of the plan.

If she can still drive, I'm going to have issues with the garage. She'll want one of my bays. I may need to build a separate garage.

Out here we call them Dawdy Haus it's Dutch for 'Grandparents House'. 600 square foot (kitchen, living, bedroom, bathroom).

[Rick Lee]

No, we don't have an in-law suite or space to build one. And I wouldn't build one if we did have space and funds for such. I did not sign up for living with my in-laws, short of a medical or financial emergency, which is not the case at all here. I truly can not imagine a worse existance than living with my in-laws, no matter how much I like them. And that means I will not do it.

The only think I can think of to get them out of our hair would be to send them on some bus trips. But I can't see any of them lasting more than a week at a time, which means they'd be here for weeks between each one of those. I highly doubt Mrs. Lee has any plans to get them out of my hair, just wants to get them here and then deal with the conquences, not believing any of my misgivings. Mrs. Lee's mom has already been here, traveled to FL, Niagara Falls, NYC, DC, CA, Vegas, etc. She ain't coming again out of wanderlust and Mrs. Lee's father doesn't care about any of those places anyway.

[recycled sixtie]

You should have a heart to heart talk with your wife of why you don't want your inlaws in your house. Once in the house, they can be like mice you may never get them out. My mother never wanted to live in her children's house. My fil wanted to move into our house and we agreed he is not suitable living in our house. He is in an
old folks home now.

I believe it is a Chinese tradition to move into the children's house. My hairdresser has her mother live with her and her husband and her children. All Chinese.
If your wife does not understand your point of view then counselling might be in order.

[Rick Lee]

Oh, I've told her many times already why I don't want them living with us. And I've done it nicely, in a calm tone and with a sense of concern for our marriage over my own personal sanity. She dismisses it out of hand, will not even pretend to consider it, doesn't try to tell me why my concerns are misguided, can only say her folks will "take walks" and, again, she even said she doesn't plan to take any time off from work while they're here. See what I'm working with?