The Officail Do Not Thread

[GDNF2ET]

Don't ever lend anything out that you would greatly miss if never returned..

[Por_sha911]

Never go to bed angry...stay up and plot your revenge. - Maxine

[Z-man]

Originally Posted by Groesbeck Hurricane

Eat yellow snow. You guys missed the obvious. Sheesh.

Avoid the poopsicle in January.

Tell your SO that your ex is really hot.

Miss your downshift in the curve!

Swallow your seltzer tablet.

Mess around with Slim.

Don't ever downshift in the middle of a corner!

[Por_sha911]

When the boss asks "Do I look stupid?" don't answer him.

[Por_sha911]

Never wrestle with a pig. You’ll both get dirty and the pig loves it.

[red-beard]

Sergeant Frank Tree: You shouldn't touch the ordnance at all.

Sergeant Frank Tree: But more specifically, you should never pull this hand-operating lever to the rear.

Ward Douglas: Never.

Sergeant Frank Tree: Do not push a clip of ammunition down into the feed rollers here.

Ward Douglas: No Sir, never.

Sergeant Frank Tree: You never restore this lever to firing position. Do not make sure that this cover is completely closed.

Ward Douglas: No Sir.

Sergeant Frank Tree: Never depress operator's foot triggers here, here and at the rear here.

[BlueSkyJaunte]

Do not store your superglue next to your "hand" lotion.

[dondarnell]

Don't wash the dog with a hose that has been lying in the sun all day.

[FLYGEEZER]

Never pick your nose in turbulence.
And most of all....never stick your finger where you wouldn't stick your face.

[red-beard]

Originally Posted by BlueSkyJaunte

Do not store your superglue next to your "hand" lotion.

Or lip balm

[sc_rufctr]

Originally Posted by red-beard

Or lip balm

Or eye drops... (True story from my nursing days - not good)

[Brando]

Do not tell your wife her girlfriend "looks hot".

... At a pool party.

... After she has been drinking.

[dad911]

Originally Posted by bivenator

Tug on Superman's cape.

Originally Posted by Groesbeck Hurricane

......
Mess around with Slim.

You don't tug on Superman's cape
You don't spit into the wind
You don't pull the mask off the old Lone Ranger
And you don't mess around with Slim

Thanks for the reminder, had to look up the rest

[mikeesik]

Originally Posted by vash

do not ever share an umbrella with another man.

Lol

[Chas White]

Do not ask Marino Franchitti if he's related to Dario

[herr_oberst]

Don't put the hemorrhoid cream next to the toothpaste

[Groesbeck Hurricane]

Originally Posted by Z-man

Don't ever downshift in the middle of a corner!

X-Man, great catch! I meant going into und tyuped somethun elsh!

[Rtrorkt]

Don't answer the question that begins, "does this ..... make my ..... look fat?"

[72doug2,2S]

Do not wear a fanny pack.

As one of our posters has said, "Never stick your dick in crazy."

[Bill Douglas]

I had been painting oil based paints with a roller, doing a bathroom ceiling, and my face was kinda spray painted with white paint. There was an important dinner on that evening and I didn't want to attend half covered in white paint so I set about scrubbing it off with turpentine.

Woo. Do not try this at home. I went to the dinner but my face was glowing bright red all evening. One well meaning lady asked me if I'd been in a fire LOL.