The Officail Do Not Thread

[Jim Bremner]

Well, the PC version is "Don't make babies with a crazy lady"

[johnco]

Originally Posted by Bill Douglas

so I set about scrubbing it off with turpentine.

when cleaning paint from your face and arms, make sure you read the labels of both cans sitting next to each other.. one is thinner and the other is remover.. do not use paint remover to clean paint from your face by mistake.. not much fun

[GH85Carrera]

Never take a laxative and a sleeping pill at the same time.

[URY914]

Do not stand behind the exhaust pipe of a car on a dyno.

[Aragorn]

Always pick up baby bear cubs and try to return them to their mothers. The bond you will establish with mama bear will last a lifetime (yours at least.)

[Bob Kontak]

Don't urinate when you have paint remover on your hands.

[flatbutt]

Originally Posted by gh85carrera

never take a laxative and a sleeping pill at the same time.

hahahaha!!

[gt350mike]

Don't pick berries and squeeze them into mush from a bush until someone has told you the berries are not hot as a jalapeno, especially right before you make a run to the men's room.......and no, splashing water on your "manhood" doesn't alleviate the burning sensation.

[johnco]

don't get herculiner on your hootus

[MT930]

Don't let them get slow on short final or any other flight phase for that mater.

[Zeke]

Originally Posted by Bill Douglas

I had been painting oil based paints with a roller, doing a bathroom ceiling, and my face was kinda spray painted with white paint. There was an important dinner on that evening and I didn't want to attend half covered in white paint so I set about scrubbing it off with turpentine.

Woo. Do not try this at home. I went to the dinner but my face was glowing bright red all evening. One well meaning lady asked me if I'd been in a fire LOL.

Not to hijack, but there are a lot of things to clean oil based paint off skin rather than thinner. I think even Noxema will do it. But for sure hand cleaners and oils such as mineral oil. There are home remedies that suggest things like mayonnaise. At least don't use the Mayo Light.


OK, my official contribution: Do not leave protective film on phones, other electronics or appliances. Don't use clear plastic seat covers either.

[fast_e_man]

Never make eye contact with the 350 lbs guy walking down the airplane aisle -- when there is a vacant middle seat in your row.

[72doug2,2S]

Do not remove a fly from your friend's forehead with a hatchet.

[notmytarga]

DO NOT reset the trip Odo while the VDO is moving.

[GH85Carrera]

DO NOT make Chuck Norris mad at you.

[gt350mike]

If you're deployed, NEVER use the speaker phone when talking to the wife, especially when your area is prone to rocket attacks.

[scottmandue]

Do not have a large cup of coffee and a bran muffin just before getting on the freeway in rush hour traffic.

[GDNF2ET]

Never open a canned beverage without wiping the top with your shirt first..

[URY914]

You don't tug on Superman's cape

[URY914]

You don't spit into the wind