Separation as a tool to save a marriage...your experiences? - Page 7

creaturecat · 08-10-2009, 02:31 PM

Move forward. Do not dwell on woulda coulda scenarios
Appreciate the freedom. Do something for yourself. Stay away from booze, which can lead to bad decisions and self pity.

m21sniper · 08-10-2009, 02:51 PM

Hookers and blow are completely acceptable though!

jyl · jyl's Garage

Dueller, I have not read any of the prior threads about your situation, so I don't know exactly what issues exist.

In general, though, I think you should focus on getting healthy, happy, in shape, energized, vital, confident, pursuing your interests. All that makes you attractive, and if she is or becomes healthy herself, will make you more attractive to her as well. And it makes you more able to participate in fixing whatever was the problem, if indeed it is possible to fix. It does not mean shutting her out or pulling away, but it does mean not sitting by the phone or in your case the keyboard and then poring over each text log like a needy sad sack, no offense intended.

Many of us have had the experience - a woman leaves you, you bounce back and get in the best mental and physical shape of your life, she realizes how great you really are and the relationship is re-kindled or at least has a fair shot at being so.

Perhaps you're doing all that already, if so just take this as exhortation and affirmation.

McLovin · 08-10-2009, 03:22 PM

The things that will make you least attractive to her are your attempts to get her back, texts, e-mails, phone calls, donuts, "I love you," etc.

The thing that would make you most attractive to her would be a nice looking 39 or 40 year old replacement gal in your bed.

Rot 911 · 08-10-2009, 06:03 PM

Man this thread just wears me out. All I am seeing here is her wanting total and complete control. Dueller, I hope for nothing but the best for you, but damn her actions are more than any mere mortal could put up with. You must be a saint.

ruf-porsche · ruf-porsche's Garage

Quote:

Originally Posted by McLovin

The things that will make you least attractive to her are your attempts to get her back, texts, e-mails, phone calls, donuts, "I love you," etc.

The thing that would make you most attractive to her would be a nice looking 39 or 40 year old replacement gal in your bed.

I like the twenty something myself. LOL

Evans, Marv · 08-10-2009, 08:22 PM

Jim,
I agree with Kurt. I've read the whole thing from page one from the beginning as it developed and wasn't going to post any comments until now. All I'm going to say is you should seriously consider getting out and finding a different life. You're letting your investment take you down. Purely my opinion.

m21sniper · 08-10-2009, 08:33 PM

I agree with the last 2 guys to a high degree.

ruf-porsche · ruf-porsche's Garage

Quote:

Originally Posted by m21sniper

i agree with the last 2 guys to a high degree.

+1

lol

Oh Haha · 08-11-2009, 04:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ruf-porsche

I like the twenty something myself. LOL

I would disagree on this advice.

1. He's married so he would be cheating.

2. I think any chance of reconciliation would be gone.

If he was simply dating the female I would say round up some premium, as they say, but in this case I think it's wrong.

I do agree with getting out and keeping busy with activities.

m21sniper · 08-11-2009, 06:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ruf-porsche

I like the twenty something myself. LOL

Ya, no schite. With Dueller's scratch he could score 20yo ho's with almost no effort whatsoever.

If he couldn't, he could invite me over, and i'd score them and bring em home for him. Nothing better than young hottie delivery, right?

Hehehehe.

red-beard · red-beard's Garage

Quote:

Originally Posted by m21sniper

Ya, no schite. With Dueller's scratch he could score 20yo ho's with almost no effort whatsoever.

If he couldn't, he could invite me over, and i'd score them and bring em home for him. Nothing better than young hottie delivery, right?

Hehehehe.

Assuming that is the point of life. It is not. I expect Jim would prefer quiet companionship to "the hunt" and a new girl everynight.

Although, I could be wrong...

m21sniper · 08-11-2009, 06:47 AM

How do you know that's not the object to life? Did god send you a memo?

Seems to me that spreading your seed in young, fertile women very much IS the entire point of Nature's game.

There are few forms of 'companionship' that can match that of rolling around naked with a hot, tight bodied 20 something year old ho.

PS: Don't hate man.

onewhippedpuppy · 08-11-2009, 07:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by creaturecat

Stay away from booze, which can lead to bad decisions and self pity.

What?! You call them bad decisions, I call them fun.

McLovin · 07:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Oh Haha

I would disagree on this advice.

1. He's married so he would be cheating.

2. I think any chance of reconciliation would be gone.

1. They are separated, living apart, so it isn't cheating. You can't have it both ways - can't want to be separated, living apart, acting like you aren't married, but still have the leash on the other person.

2. Chances of reconciliation would be improved. The grovelly, "I'm going to counseling, I can change, I can change!" things he has been doing are lessening the chances of reconciliation. (Although in this case, there is no chance - long term - anyways).

m21sniper · 08-11-2009, 07:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by McLovin

1. They are separated, living apart, so it isn't cheating. You can't have it both ways - can't want to be separated, living apart, but still have the leash on the other person.

+100000000000000000000

WTF, she left, she cannot then say he cheated after SHE left.

schamp · 08-11-2009, 07:48 AM

In Ga. you would need a legal separation agreement or it can be used against you. He IMO ought to get one and let it be the start of either moving on or getting her attention or both. I most likely would have changed her name to defendant by now.

McLovin · 08-11-2009, 07:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by schamp

In Ga. you would need a legal separation agreement or it can be used against you.

Real question: Used against you for WHAT?

Oh Haha · 08-11-2009, 08:09 AM

BS-They are still legally married so it WOULD be cheating, IMO.

I'm sure Jim could tell you that any good lawyer would use this against a person in a divorce settlement.

I don't believe they are legally separated, just mutually agreed upon separation.

McLovin · 08-11-2009, 08:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Oh Haha

I don't believe they are legally separated, just mutually agreed upon separation.

I must have missed the part where the separation was "mutually agreed upon."

Someone suddenly moving out of the house one day, with no notice, no discussion, seems more like a "unilaterally agreed upon" separation to me.