My buddy got caught cheating, justifiable, or is he a dirtbag??

[RANDY P]

Originally Posted by fastfredracing

So my good buddy , got caught with another woman last week. I think he actually got caught in the act so there is no denying what went on.
They are not married, but they do have a kid together. They have been together for 13 some years now. They seem to get along really well, we hang out with them quite a bit, and I really do think they have a pretty good relationship.
But he has been complaining that he never gets any nookie. He told me a while back that he has had sex less than 5 times in the last two years. He told me that when the opportunity ( with the other woman ) presented itself, he could not resist. He said that after the kid came, all shenanigans in the bedroom came to a screeching halt.
While I feel bad for her, I cant help to think that if you are not taking of your man, you should not be all that surprised when he looks elsewhere .
Me and my lady had a long discussion about this last night, and of course she thinks he is scum for what he did, but I cant help to defend him a little bit.
What do you guys think??

Right there. That shyte wouldn't have gone past a month with me. She's either putting out for someone else or it's just a dead relationship- they are roommates now.

I give the guy a pass and I'd tell that chick he's gonna get it from somewhere.. That's a form of relationship abuse in itself if she isn't taking care of business. There's no excuse for that, he should videotape his action and show her, give her a reminder of what to do....

rjp

[RANDY P]

Whatever he does, he'd better not start apologizing and caving into her bull****. He'd better have a spine, and get pissed. I know I would be if she feigned defiance after no action for a few years.

Tell her straight up this is what happens when I get it 2.5x a year. Tell her to GTFO cuz she's no use to him as-is.

rjp

[Rot 911]

I miss Sniper's posts on here.

[dtw]

Well Fred, as long as we're doing a 4-year bump - what happened?

[GO DAWG GO]

Jeezous H. Crist you guys, it's been four years.....

BTW: What finally happened? Atleast he may have got it a couple times since...

Hey Guys, what ever happened to that ninny jewish kid in the army who had the crazy loose girlfriend...Great read...ha! Remember?

Bob

[kach22i]

Dang, what up with the the dead thread revival?

A follow up would be really interesting.

[RANDY P]

buddy is now up to 12x in the last 6.

He insists "she loves him" tho..

rjp

[red-beard]

Originally Posted by fastfredracing

So my good buddy , got caught with another woman last week. I think he actually got caught in the act so there is no denying what went on.

[RANDY P]

Originally Posted by johnnywishbone

he is not the dirtbag.
she is the dirtbag.
pictures not required, unless something really unique. 1 legged midget or something else primo.
she could do him the "big favor", wouldn't that be fun. like banging a corpse. a corpse screaming
"YOU PAY NOW!!!!"

Ya, this is pretty good ~~!!

rjp

[Aragorn]

Originally Posted by kach22i

Dang, what up with the the dead thread revival?

A follow up would be really interesting.

ZOMBIE THREAD.... IT LIVES...

In the words of some of the great philosophers of our time:

"I did it all for the nookie...ya the nookie... ya the nookie"

"If ya like it then ya should'a put a ring on it."

Great words from some the great minds of our time.

[red-beard]

Originally Posted by Aragorn

"If ya like it then ya should'a put a ring on it."

How do you put a ring on "it" ?

[jcommin]

I have been cheated on - There are 2 persons in a relationship each is 100% responsible for their 50%. I am divorced, I still talk to my ex- I don't dwel on the past because it is not healthy. I have forgiven but you don't forget.

Get some consuling, try to make it work and if everything you tried has failed, walk away. It is very hard to rebuild trust.

[Porsche-O-Phile]

People change, interests change and needs change. You change together or you fall apart. Pretty simple. On the basis of that, the whole institution of marriage is frankly pretty stupid. There's no way a person can possibly promise that be or she will feel the same way for another 1, 2, 5 or 50 years hence. It's ridiculous to think so, so it's largely a guessing game.

Add to that the overwhelming failure rate of marriages and the potential cost of a divorce (losing half or more of one's assets, one's kids, potentially the ability to ever retire due to onerous alimony awards, etc.) and one really has to ask why any sane person would ever expose themselves to that kind of potential liability. One doesn't need marriage to have a good, stable long-term relationship or to raise kids well. In some cases it might help, in others (most?) it's really pretty meaningless and a financial time bomb more than anything else.

Getting married is of dubious value anymore and getting married without an iron-clad prenup to protect one from being financially destroyed (or worse, enslaved for the rest of their life) is just plain idiocy. Talk to a family law attorney about the potential ramifications sometime. It'll scare the living hell out of any reasonably intelligent person.

No excuse whatsoever for men (or women) to not care for and support their kids. Children should not be victimized by "grown up" indiscretion or selfishness or stupidity. Not ever.

I think the guy in this situation wasn't in much of a relationship but probably should've discussed it and his decision to get his needs met elsewhere before doing so. It's simple respect - shouldn't lead on his live-in partner. If it isn't working just say so, make arrangements for the kid(s) to be provided for and get time with both parents and call it a day, then do whatever you need to. Probably not the most mature way of handling it but an absolutist position (e.g. "guys that do his are always automatically scumbags") is a pretty shallow position intellectually - like "zero tolerance" policies in general. There are almost always extenuating circumstances and/or mitigating factors, and it always takes (at least) two...

[WolfeMacleod]

Yep, he's a dirtbag.

That being said, I spent 10 years in a relationship with a cold, frigid woman. We divorced because she had an affair with someone else. Not willing for me, but willing for another? Nooooo...thanks, but no thanks.
I've now been with another frigid woman for 4 years. That started as soon as she moved in. It's been nearly 3 months now... ugh.

We're moving. I'm looking at my own place, and am close to signing a lease and breaking it off. I just can't do that again.

[fastfredracing]

I cannot believe I am reading this thread. This is too funny, my lady, and I were just talking about this last night. You guys are too much. 4 years, have I really been hanging around here that long?
Well, they did not make it as a couple. Maybe 6 months, a year after this thread, he threw her to the curb. Actually, I think he told her he needed some space, and she freaked out, and left. She ended up with one of his friends, and he has been in a few different relationships since ( a few young cuties too!). He seems happy dating , and likes having his house back to himself
The funny thing is, that they have both recently been seeing each other behind their current lovers backs, and he says that they knock boots now more than they ever did while they were together. Life sure is weird.

[gprsh924]

That just sounds exhausting.

[nota]

I never got the ownership thing
and that includes the idea if you are with another
that is somehow cheating esp if 5 times in 2 years case

guess I like Robert Heinlein's ideas on the subject
or even the euro mistress

we have been together 43 years now

[jyl]

So they are both dirt bags.

I cannot believe I am reading this thread. This is too funny, my lady, and I were just talking about this last night. You guys are too much. 4 years, have I really been hanging around here that long?

Well, they did not make it as a couple. Maybe 6 months, a year after this thread, he threw her to the curb. Actually, I think he told her he needed some space, and she freaked out, and left. She ended up with one of his friends, and he has been in a few different relationships since ( a few young cuties too!). He seems happy dating , and likes having his house back to himself

The funny thing is, that they have both recently been seeing each other behind their current lovers backs, and he says that they knock boots now more than they ever did while they were together. Life sure is weird.

[tweezers74]

Cheating is such an interesting topic. My father cheated on my mother and I was so angry at him for a long time. But as I grew older and started to experience my own woes in relationships, I began to see things aren't always black and white. Granted, cheating is never right and everybody knows it is wrong. I am not defending cheating. I am just saying that I can understand how some relationship problems can bring somebody to be so lonely, sad, confused, that they do something they know isn't going to fare well in the end. Heck, if it isn't cheating, it's drinking. If it isn't drinking, it's gambling. If it isn't gambling, it's shopping. Or exercising. Or going out all the time. My point is, when you aren't feeling happy and loved, you try to find that happiness in SOMETHING. And sometimes people try to find that in another person, while still clinging onto the hope that the person they truly love will come around and then they can live happily ever after. Thing is, it isn't fair to have your hands in two pots. Can't give all your effort in improving one relationship if you are sleeping with another. There are many reasons why people cheat but there is one thing I know, outsiders can guess all they want but the only two people who know what really happened and why, are the two people in the relationship. And sometimes, those two people don't even know why either.

Is he a scumbag? Is she? The success of a relationship AND the demise of a relationship is caused by both parties. What she did wasn't right. Obviously, sex was something he needed in the relationship and she wasn't giving it to him. But there must be a reason why she wasn't giving it to him if it was a healthy sex life before. What he did wasn't right. Even if she didn't sleep with him, that doesn't give him the right to stray. It's about respect. If you ever loved her, you would have least given her the chance to walk away from you with her dignity. Or the chance to try her best to keep you.

My belief is if you try your hardest to give your partner what they need, they have no reason to look elsewhere and vice versa.

It sounds like your friend probably had a gut feeling of where this was going to end up. And interesting they still see each other... Sometimes people get exactly what they ask for, huh?

[Bugsinrugs]

My belief is if you try your hardest to give your partner what they need, they have no reason to look elsewhere and vice versa.
This right there says it all!