Starting Over - Dating when you're 60

[Rusty Heap]

"Get a PPI"
grins

chuckling out loud.


Put her on a lift to check for any rear end or engine leaks......

[Norm K]

Originally Posted by Rusty Heap

"Get a PPI"
grins

chuckling out loud.


Put her on a lift to check for any rear end or engine leaks......

And if she's a later model, better check for bore-scoring, too.

_

[rattlsnak]

Originally Posted by norm k

and if she's a later model, better check for bore-scoring, too.

_

bahahahaha!

[Rusty Heap]

a little front end shimmy is okay as long as it isn't sloppy. May need alignment. Shocks and suspension should be carrying factory weight fine, and not overloaded and sagging like a used soccer mom mini-van.

[Zeke]

Yes, as always, as Joe Bob would say, some real douche nozzle comments. I think of the good ones Vinny has top advice. Let it flow.

But in doing so, you have to get out. Get out to enjoy yourself. If you really like working in the shop all day and sitting on the couch at night, nothing will happen. You end up looking. Wrong.

I'm not religious but I'd start going to church. Or something similar, it can be totally secular. But it has to be coed, not the hunting and fishing club unless you WANT to go to the H & F club.

If there is a bar, and you drink, the one at the golf course is better than the lounge. Why? Because it's secondary to a primary purpose, to play golf or bowl.

I'm too old to think about it even if I was single. But 10 years ago if I was put into this situation I would have taken a job as a lunch time waiter in a restaurant. Or bagged groceries. It doesn't happen until it happens out of nowhere with no prompting.

Thanks, Vinny.

BTW, I met my 2nd wife now of 41 years in my late 30's working on her house. She found me through a referral. Neither of us were looking.

[Danimal16]

Originally Posted by 911 Rod

I think the hardest part is ever trusting someone again.

Absolutely agree. But that only becomes an issue later.

[rattlsnak]

OK, I could write a book on this. I have been divorced twice and had to start dating again after many years off... twice This latest time just 2 years ago.. (some of you may remember when my second wife turned 50 she wanted a to have her first baby.. we sadly got divorced.. and then found out recently, that she indeed had one..!) That was devastating as neither one of really wanted to get divorced.... I took some time off and then went on a LOT of dates... As far as where to meet someone, without a doubt, online apps like Tinder/Bumble etc are the way to go. Match and PoF, etc are just rotating dating clubs.. It's the same people who all date each other.. Weird.. Not sure where you live but there are THOUSANDS of single women out there within a 30 mile radius of me. I met so many different types of women and learned a LOT..

First thing I can tell you, is that if you are not fully divorced, and have some time between when that happened and current, you will lose 90% of your audience immediately.. Once they see this on your profile or it comes out in convo, they will NOT go back to it or entertain a conversation. I know that sucks as when a divorce drags out, you could be completely over them by the time it finishes, but you simply have to wait or you will lose so many great potential candidates..

At this age group, you either have career moms..women who have never worked a day in their life (stay at home mom) and are looking for someone to take care of them financially. You have career women who either never had time for a relationship before (like my second wife) and that's a HUGE red flag as they don't know how to cohabitate. You have the women who have a picture of their dog in every single pic they post.. (that drove me nuts! ha ha.) You have the nonresponsive ones who are basically too busy dating countless other guys to text you back in a timely manner. The non committal ones.. The ones that are too far away to make dating really work out.. ( I put a 30 mile distance ring around me. Out of that ring, not even going to bother. It just won't work out over time..) The ones who STILL have young kids... I chatted with many who had 10-12 year old kids.. hard pass..Not looking to be dad for somebody else's kids. The ones who cant let go and would rather be with the adult kids.. The ones who have a really bad relationship with their ex.. and the unicorn "normal" ones, who lived in two income households with kids and understand how relationships work.. (they grew out of love for whatever reason). There are many more in sub categories of those above, but you get the gist..

You always hear the term 'opposites attract", well that may be true in metals, but in relationships, it is the WORST thing.. You have to find someone with as much in common as you as possible. People at this age and generally set in their ways and opposites creates conflict...

oh man, I could go on and on.. !



This deserves a re-watch!!

[Gretch]

As a single, financially independent, stable man (or about to be), You are a RARE commodity and about to be seriously contested over by the "she-critters" .

Take it slow, enjoy the ride(s) and don't do anything rash.............

You will be astounded as to the extent single females will go to compete with each other for the "ultimate" prize. Just let them do it..........

Play the field, and NEVER, EVER let one move in with you............ EVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

[GH85Carrera]

I did not find my wife until I was 37, so I dated a couple of decades. Of course I assume dating 20 and 30 something ladies is a lot different than 60 something ladies.

There is no need rush into any commitment. I fished the ocean of ladies and found a lot of losers, and a few gems with just a few flaws. If the flaws are too big, move on to the next one.

My wants and needs are vastly different than when I was in my 20s and 30s and so are the dating pool of ladies.

[Evans, Marv]

Originally Posted by Gretch

NEVER, EVER let one move in with you............ EVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

Boy, Truer words were never spoken!

[Crowbob]

No lie, Hawkeye!

I’ve shared this story before but I don’t care:

Live-in relationship went sour. My name is on the rental agreement. Hers weren’t. Anywho, she won’t move out.

So…I rent a storage place and move all my stuff and live on my buddy’s couch for a few weeks. I told her I convinced the landlord to break the lease. She finally vacates. I move my stuff and my self back in.

Lesson:

If you want something loud, don’t work right, cold as hell, and has problems get a snowmobile.

[jhynesrockmtn]

Originally Posted by Evans, Marv

Boy, Truer words were never spoken!

Yup

My first serious relationship after my divorce was with a lovely woman who's story unfolded over several months. She had two adult kids. I had spent very little time with the kids prior to making the mistake of inviting her to live with me after several months. One was on the spectrum. The younger one living a life style I didn't want in my home. Woops. At that point the realities of her family life were in my face. I couldn't have her kids around and saw an eventual train wreck impacting my life and my kids.

I asked her to move out and was very honest with her. She understood. It was very hard as I loved her but I couldn't handle everything that came with her.

About 3 years later she emailed me and asked me to write a letter to the court in support of her ability to parent young kids. I had some standing due to my work. She was petitioning for custody of her now 3 grandkids. Her son and his girlfriend couldn't stop having children and couldn't provide care for them. Bullet dodged. I wrote the letter and wished her well.

I learned to really make sure the kids of anyone I would get involved with were as important as the person. My wife's 3 kids rock and I'm lucky to have them in my life.

[john70t]

Losing the online dating thing immediately. Despite it being her choich it just looks bad from any perspective. Especially legal and financial. It's also disrespectful to her despite the situation and whatever she might be doing to cope with 'her new life'. She's probably going mad trying to logically justify the choice she just made. Maybe she thinks she is jumping into something better lol. Do it for you most of all and have no regrets later on.

Take a break. Get yourself organized and healthy. Do the things you weren't 'allowed' to do before or felt self-conscious about. You got one life to live and it don't come with a manual unless you're really into cars. Then get through the separation fear and loneliness and think about things that's been a growing mass of pain for too long. Grieve and think too much. Walking and nature helps. You can go on the MGTOW boards but be warned it's about 90% angst/hatred and 10% good advice. Somewhere in there is you and what you need in there.

That is the positive thing you need to cultivate within yourself again after it has been broken. Find what is important and what would be outside your acceptable boundaries. Redraw your lines. And don't let anyone else violate your being. People will always try to test the boundaries. Male friends included. Establish your comfort zone and don't go outside of that. Your life, your rules. Just a little respect. And be sure to reciprocate but never overly so.

Women will give you the s*** test once they think they've got emotional hooks into you. They are willing to be chameleons and morph into someone else's game plan for a while but that might not be their true inner voice and being. Some will have huge amounts of baggage they want you to fix for them. Don't judge by the cover. Some or many in the single pool are there for a very good reason, cough, so be prepared to smile and walk away a lot. If they are not willing to give 50% in some way but demand much more than that, then be prepared to say "thanks but no". I found the true nature of my ex's after I gave them all control. Desperation is a sign of a weak male and regardless of money they want that motivated healthy and confident guy.

Nobody is perfect but there is someone out there that is right. The more interactions the better. Keep it light in the meantime. They can have 'friends' and we can too. Be honest with yourself and her.

[billybek]

I met my wife online about 17 years ago.

I am truly a lucky man.

YMMV.

[KFC911]

Sorry to hear about some of you guy's with long time relationship troubles.... take care guys! Now listen up .... here is everything I've managed to figure out over the decades regarding them:

[fastfredracing]

Just take a minute and read this, it will all become crystal clear.

[Seahawk]

Originally Posted by billybek

I met my wife online about 17 years ago...

I really don't think meeting the right person is about the how, rather that you did: Online, in a bar, at Church or in the veggie aisle at Whole Foods.

I have friends that met online, at a party, etc.: I met my wife 34 years ago at Tuesday Night Taco Night at the NAS Patuxent River O'Club for goodness sake. She was a flight test engineer at the time.

Like BB, I am a truly lucky man.

[wilnj]

Not something I’ve experienced first hand but seen enough of it around me and the one thing that comes to mind is what is the rush?

I’d spend my free time enjoying myself without being responsible to anyone but myself. For companionship, I’d look to group settings with people who share the same interests and if it’s about getting laid, I’d look to a professional. It would likely come out cheaper in the end.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[cantdrv55]

But what if you need to get laid every couple of days or three? That’d get real expensive with a professional.

[GH85Carrera]

Originally Posted by cantdrv55

But what if you need to get laid every couple of days or three? That’d get real expensive with a professional.

The OP was about turning 60 and dating. That is less of a problem for most guys than when they were in their 20s or 30s.